Operation: Infiltrate Akatsuki
by CherryTreeTimes
Summary: Dont read this
1. Objective

**What's up, people? This little story here just randomly popped into my head one day...so i just typed it and put it up here! I dunno if its any good so thats why i put it up here! Hope u like it!**

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~Operation: Infiltrate Akatsuki?!!?~

Chapter One: Objective

_Akatsuki. _An organization made up of S-ranked missing nin. Criminals who abandoned their villages for reasons unknown. At least, that's what I was told about them. That and they wore spiffy black cloaks with red clouds!

Regardless of how dangerous these 'Akatsuki' people were, I just couldn't take a group of criminals who wore matching outfits and painted their nails seriously.

Even though I made myself clear that I didn't think that the Akatsuki were a big deal, I was still given a mission that I didn't want. The mission was to infiltrate the Akatsuki headquarters and gather information about them. No biggie, right?

As I was packing in my room to get ready for the mission that I so fortunately acquired, I heard a series of loud knocks on my bedroom door. Before I could say _'come in,' _the door burst open and in tumbled my mom, dad, and twin brother and sister. Their expressions ranged from worry to angry and about everything in between. My mom was worried to death about my mission and couldn't understand why I had to go alone; my dad was angry that someone more 'qualified' couldn't do it; and finally the twin monsters that are my younger siblings wanted to be taken along with me.

"Shiori," my mom said looking a nervous wreck. "You don't really want to go on this mission do you? You can ask them to send a jounin or someone stronger than you. You're only a chunin!"

I nodded and zipped up my bag before slinging it over my shoulder. "I know i'm only a chunin, mom. Besides, i'm old enough to take care of myself. I'll be alright."

I flashed mom a smile to help calm her nerves a bit. She halfheartedly smiled back. One of the main reasons I was chosen for this particular mission was because of my photographic memory. It was something I was relied on for a lot by my family and friends. Sometimes I thought I was just used so no one else could actually pay attention, they could come to me later and ask.

The twin monsters, Ami and Ichiru, latched themselves onto my legs and turned their big eyes on me.

"Hey Ori," Ichiru said with his thumb in his mouth, a habit I wanted him to get rid of. That and him always calling me "Ori" instead of "Shiori."

"Yes, Ichiru."

He removed his thumb from his mouth, which was now covered in spit, and put his hand on my leg. Yuck.

"Can I go with you on your mission?" he asked sweetly. Mom and dad both pried him off of my leg and said sternly, "No."

Ami let go also and held Ichiru's hand. The way they were both staring at me made me sick to my stomach. It was so cute that if I actually did throw up, it'd probably be rainbows instead of vomit. I made my way to the front door and opened it, trying to ignore the holes being burned into the back of my neck by my family.

"I'll be okay," I said. "I promise. See you when I get back!"

After many hugs and tears from my mom and the twin monsters, I made my way into the forest surrounding my village. Just a little ways into it, I sat down to read over the report I had been given. Mysterious figures in red and black cloaks had supposedly been spotted in the area. Perfect.

My mission called for me to infiltrate their hideout to gather information...which at first didn't seem to be too much of a difficult task. Now, as I sat under a tall tree thinking things over, it seemed to get harder and harder. If these Akatsuki guys were as tough as everyone said, then I needed to form a plan on how the heck I was going to "infiltrate" their hideout.

A rustling sound followed by a muffled voice caught my attention and I quickly gathered my things up. I carefully peeked around the thick tree trunk to look for the source of the noise. Stealth isn't really one of my strong points and I was always the first to be found in games of hide and seek during my childhood. The voice got closer and I crept around the tree, trying to hide behind it. As suspected, the figure cursing and muttering to himself was indeed clad in a black cloak with red clouds with a straw hat on top of their head. The person leaned against the opposite side of the trunk I was hiding behind and I prayed that I wouldn't do something stupid to get myself caught.

As the apparently distressed Akatsuki member continued to mutter angrily to himself, I went over a couple of options in my head:

a. I could run

b. I could reveal myself

or

I could follow him to the hideout

All of the above options sounded good to me but only one would probably get me to the Akatsuki's hideout and that was C. However, that last option could also get me killed if I wasn't careful. The Akatsuki member stopped muttering angrily to himself and I tensed up. He stepped around the tree, scoping the area. I stepped around also, hoping he wouldn't notice. Thank god for thick healthy tree trunks!

The fact that I actually had to get inside their secret hideout made a lump form in my stomach. Another idea popped into my head—i could get myself kidnapped. That would no doubt get me into their lair. While I was being held captive I could gather as much information as I could and if I could escape, take back everything I learned to my village. _If _I could escape. That was also a really important issue—how I was going to get out once I got in.

'That could wait,' I thought. What mattered now was to get 'kidnapped' by the Akatsuki. A possibly stupid plan...but it never hurt to try.

I casually strode out from behind the tree trunk and made my way deeper into the forest. Turning around, I could see the distressed Aka-member following me. Perfect. I think.

Before I could turn back around, I ran right into a big hulking object in front of me. Turns out, the object was another Akatsuki member...a BIG Akatsuki member, his hard cold eyes the only thing that was visible on his face. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea...

The Akatsuki member that had been following me grabbed my arm and hauled me to my feet.

I really dislike being touched. Only with my family and friends that I sort of tolerate it. Other than that, I hated for people to touch me. Was it my fault that I was born that way? Maybe since I was touched and held so much as a baby, I just couldn't take it anymore.

"_Ahem..._excuse me?" I tried to yank my arm away. "Do you mind letting me go? That hurts."

The grip on my arm loosened a little bit and I took this time to tear off through the trees, hoping I would be followed. I found that running through a forest at full speed was more fun than I imagined. Sort of like flying, if you didn't keep slamming into trees.

A deep rumbling sound followed by an intense wave of heat and debris nearly hit me full force and I had to dodge roll into a ditch to escape being incinerated or maimed. Bombs? Talk about overkill. Before I could get to my feet and steady myself, I was grabbed by the bag over my shoulder and lifted into the air. The view was beautiful and I could see for miles, but when reality kicked in I realized I was a hundred feet in the air dangling from a bag that was slung poorly over my shoulder. My bag started to slip from my shoulders and I hung on for dear life. No way was I going to be splattered all over the forest floor. The Akatsuki member that was dangling me in the air apparently decided that holding me by my neck would be a better idea than holding me by my bag.

The Akatsuki member was standing ontop of a huge bird—a weird looking bird at that. There was no way that it could've been real, yet it was flapping it's wings like a real bird.

"Let me go," I managed to choke out. He raised an eyebrow at me.

Apparently, what I meant and what I said weren't the same thing because in no way, shape or form did I want to be dropped from hundreds of feet in the air, sent hurtling in a downward spiral towards my doom. What a pleasant day this was turning out to be.

Just as I was going to be skewered on a tall bare pine tree like a shish-ka-bob, the day was saved! Thanks to the Akatsuki member on his artificially processed bird!

As he hauled me onto the bird's back, the straw hat was blown off by the wind and I caught a glimpse of his...or her appearance: long blond hair, some of it covering the left side of his(her?) face, and some of it in a high ponytail.

The voice I had heard earlier had definitely been that of a males...so I could only assume that he was indeed a guy. Now that that problem had been settled, I was focused on starting my mission.

The _male_ Akatsuki member turned me around and tied both of my wrists together with a hard coarse rope.

"Next time I won't catch you, hm."

Yup. Definitely a male. And he had a speech impediment! If my definition of 'speech impediment' was accurate.

"Next time don't drop me," I said back smartly. He shot me a look and continued tightening the rope on my wrists.

A question popped into my head that had something to do with why I was being kidnapped in the first place. Sure, I wanted to be kidnapped so I would be brought into their headquarters, but did the Akatsuki go around kidnapping people that saw them? Maybe they did some research about me and my great memory. Then again, maybe not. All of a sudden, my thoughts were interrupted by complete darkness.

"Hey...who turned the sun off?"

It wasn't the disappearance of the sun that caused my 'blindness', it was a blindfold that had been tied in a complicated knot. Great. Now I was tied up and blindfolded, almost utterly defenseless. Unless his feelings hurt easily, the insults I could throw at him probably wouldn't do much damage.

The gears in my head kicked into overdrive and my kidnapper's face began to look really familiar. I know I saw his face before...That's it! I had read a bingo book with detailed information inside a while ago, and a certain someone in front of me was in one of the pages.

Deidara was his name if I wasn't mistaken. And he used explosives. Great, maybe these were people I should be afraid of. I stretched my legs out as far as I could in front of me, kicking Deidara in the back. I felt him turn around and stare at me and I hoped he wouldn't blow my feet off or something.

"Sorry," I said not feeling sorry at all. "I'm not used to being kidnapped. I hope you understand, Deidara. Oh if you're wondering how I know your name, it's okay. I read a lot."

After what seemed like hours on that awful hard bird, it took a sharp turn and began to descend. When it touched the ground, Deidara yanked me off the bird, what i'm assuming, the gentlest way he could and pulled me by my shirt. From what it sounded like, I was being pulled through hallways and a variety of different rooms. Wow, the Akatsuki hideout sure was big. Just how many members did this group have? 10? 20? 30?!!! Hopefully it wasn't more than 5, that way it'd be a little easier for me...probably.

We stopped walking and I was shoved into a room by the back of my head. Ouch. Boy do those Akatsuki know how to treat a lady. The door slammed shut behind me and I rolled over onto my back. Luckily, the rope around my wrists were beginning to feel loose and after 5 minutes of wriggling I was able to get my hands free. Now for the blindfold. As I peeled it off my face, I noticed that the darkness hadn't changed that much. The room was very dimly lit by a flickering light overhead. It was better than no light at all, that's for sure.

The Akatsuki obviously weren't much of decorators—the room had no furniture, just a filthy floor with what I hoped wasn't blood stains splattered around everywhere. The wallpaper in this particular room was beginning to peel and I thought I knew why—it was sweltering! The air in the room was full of moisture and lack of ventilation of any kind was making it feel like a hot springs. Picking the cleanest spot on the floor that I could, I sat down on it and retrieved my bag which was surprisingly not taken.

Before I could open it, the door opened and I was once again blindfolded by someone. It didn't matter to me that much. All I needed was to be able to hear and I would be good.

This time I wasn't pulled, but dragged painfully to another room where everything went blank. It could've just been the blindfold but last time I checked, blindfolds didn't cause you to not hear anything except for a ringing noise.

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	2. Shackles

~Chapter Two: Shackles~

I woke up some time later with a bad headache that throbbed every time I blinked. My hands were still tied but this time were above my head to chains on the ceiling. I was hanging a few feet off of the ground. If the floor in here was as filthy as the one in the previous room, then I was thankful to be hanging from the ceiling.

The room I was currently in wasn't as hot and humid as the other one...it was WORSE. If a person could melt into a puddle on the floor, than I definitely would have. At least I would've been free of the shackles around my wrists.

"Hello?" I called out to no one in particular. These Akatsuki could stand to treat their captives a little better. Especially when one of them couldn't be in silence for more than 20 minutes before they went completely insane.

"Hellllllooooo?" Maybe raising my voice would get me an answer. "Can someone tell me where I am?!"

"You're in a room, hm."

Trying my best to sound pleasant, I said, "Hello Deidara. You mind letting me down?"

His cloak brushed my ankles and I realized I was higher than I thought I was.

"I can't let you down. What's your name anyway?"

Fresh beads of sweat rolled down my face and I sighed—too much longer in here and I would probably lose some weight.

"Shiori," I said. "Why'd you kidnap me?"

"I can't answer that, hm."

Some help he was. Maybe I could call customer service and ask for a better Akatsuki member to answer my questions, because I obviously wouldn't be getting any valuable information out of him. My stomach rumbled and I groaned. How long had it been since I'd eaten?

"Hungry?" Deidara asked and I could practically hear the smirk in his voice.

"Pretty much. You have any food?"

"I don't feed captives, hm."

So the pile of hard long objects that had crunched under my feet _were_ bones and that poor soul probably starved to death. That would soon be my fate if the stubborn blond below me wouldn't go get me something to eat. And I would like to have a pretty corpse when I go—not skin and bones.

After a few more minutes of silence went by, I was beginning to get annoyed. I needed information and being chained to the wall was probably not the best way to get it.

"Shiori, hm."

I looked down in the direction of Deidara's voice. He was to the right of me.

"Yeah, what is it."

"You're a spy, aren't you?"

"Noooo," I inwardly kicked myself for dragging out the 'no' for so long. That was an obvious dead giveaway. Perhaps they already knew that I was sent to spy on them and were going to eliminate me.

Deidara spoke again before I could finish my nervous thoughts. "I took the liberty of stealing your file. Your ability to remember anything is impressive, hm."

"Thanks. Your ability to get on my nerves is impressive, too."

I could practically feel Deidara shrug as he replied innocently, "What did I do?"

I struggled against my chains. "You won't tell me why you kidnapped me, i'm starving and you don't feed captives, and I really need to get down!"

And also the fact that he dropped me from about a thousand feet in the air from a fake bird, but I guessed he wasn't _that _stupid, so I wouldn't really have to mention that.

What really kept popping into my head was what was going to happen to me now that it was probably known that I was a spy. Would they kill me? _How _would they kill me? If I was going to die I wanted it to be quick and painless, not long and painful. Take bleeding to death for instance. That probably was excruciatingly painful. Another thing I always wondered was what getting decapitated felt like. It was quick but probably not necessarily painless, seeing as the head would still be alive a few seconds afterwards.

Deidara's cloak brushed my ankles again and I could hear his footsteps getting farther and farther away.

"Wait!" I called out. "Don't leave!"

"And why not, hm?"

"Because I need to hear something or else i'll go insane."

There was a few seconds of silence before a door opened and he stepped out. How mean. I guess I couldn't really expect any more from a member of the oh so evil Akatsuki. Figures.

As I hung from the ceiling in some room in the Akatsuki hideout, I started thinking about why I had to have such a good memory in the first place. I would gladly give that up for something more useful to me—the ability to get a boyfriend or maybe a pet. Several moments later the door opened again and slammed before I could see who it was that came in. Whoever it was, didn't move or say anything and that was beginning to make me nervous. It didn't help that I had a blindfold on. The silence was deafening and I started to struggle against the chains around my wrists. I needed to get out of here, _now. _

"Struggling only makes it worse, hm."

So it was Deidara. Geez, were all of the other members on break or something? Even though I was tied up, I was anxious to see what the others looked like...and hopefully get some information that would benefit my village. All without getting killed, of course.

"The more you struggle, the tighter they get."

Sure enough, the chains around my wrists began to feel like they were getting smaller and started constricting them like a snake. "Get them off!" I yelled in a panic.

"Stop struggling, hm," came Deidara's voice from the darkness.

How could he be so calm in a situation like this? When I finally felt as if my hands were goners, the chains released my wrists and I dropped to the floor. I definitely was higher in the air than I thought.

"You're a bit on the slow side, aren't you Shiori?"

I could feel him walking back and forth in front of me and I stuck my leg out—tripping him. After the loud **thunk** I could hardly keep from laughing. Some dangerous criminal he was.

"I'm not apologizing," I added.

A foot connected with my stomach, knocking the wind out of me and causing me to double over.

"I'm not apologizing, either, hm.."

When I finally caught my breath, I looked up in the direction that I heard his voice. "Why did you kidnap me?"

Half expecting not to get a decent answer, I wasn't surprised when I got a

"I can't answer that, hm."

"Why not?" I asked. "I didn't do anything to you."

"You just tripped me, hm."

_That _was his excuse? That I tripped him? Oh please, Mr. Blondie. The twin monsters could have come up with a better answer for kidnapping someone than that. Even though I was sure I haven't been captive for more than a day, I was already beginning to miss Ami and Ichiru. No matter how irritating they could be sometimes.

"Well," I said matter-of-factly. "_You _dropped me from your fake bird earlier and almost got me impaled."

"You told me to let you go, hm."

"Are you completely retarded?" I asked. "You seriously thought I wanted you to drop me from that high in the air? I don't see why people think you're so dangerous—"

"**Deidara!**" came a loud rough voice from out of nowhere. It sounded like whoever it was had swallowed nails or something. Definitely not a very pleasant voice to hear. I could hear Deidara get up and mutter something angrily before leaving me in complete silence. Thanks, mysterious voice.

"Get up Shiori, hm."

I could feel a foot prodding my side and I pushed it away, trying to get back to sleep. Man, couldn't a girl get her beauty rest? It was bad enough that I was in a dark room that was as hot as the sun. The annoying poking continued and I finally leaned up. "What?"

Deidara took me by my arm and hooked another chain to it before dragging me out of the room. The chain didn't bother me as much—as long as I was out of that hellhole of a room I was okay. The hallway was cool and it felt _amazing. _My hair was stuck to my forehead and neck and I was sure that I had sweated off 5 lbs. And trust me, I did _not _want to lose anymore weight.

"Tell me," Deidara said. "Even though your hands were free, why didn't you take the blindfold off, hm?"

So that's why it was so dark. Feeling stupid, I used my free hand to pull the blindfold down off my eyes. The light burned them so much I had to squint.

We soon arrived at another room and I groaned—how many rooms would I be left in before they were satisfied?

Deidara stepped behind me and pushed me forward. I looked at him questioningly and he smirked before saying, "Good luck, hm."

Good luck? Before I could ask what he was talking about, the door slammed shut in my face.

"**Girl**," said the same unpleasant voice from earlier. "**Come away from the door.**"

I did as I was told and followed the direction of the voice. Hopefully being a good little hostage would pay off. This room was dark also and all I could see was a pair of eyes. Almost as creepy as the voice.

"**Shiori Takamiya, correct?**"

Reluctantly, I nodded, not wanting to make this very creepy person angry. The eyes continued to stare at me without blinking and I shivered.

"**So you have a photographic memory, eh? What a very useful skill...I have reason to believe you are a spy.**"

Oh, man. This mission wasn't probably going to end well. Trying my best to sound confident and unafraid, I looked into the eyes of the mysterious figure in front of me. "I don't know what you are talking about."

The eyes still didn't blink and I wondered if they were even real. To test it out, I leaned the upper half of my body to the left and the eyes followed me—still not blinking. Gross.

"**Oh? You don't know what i'm talking about?**"

"Nope."

The person who never blinked didn't say anything but he continued to stare at me. I wished I was back in that hot room instead of under this person's gaze. It was nerve-wracking.

"**I see...Well, Miss Takamiya. Since you say you're not a spy, you will become the Akatsuki's **_**pet.**_"


	3. Akatsuki's What!

~Chapter Three: Akatsuki's Pet~

The Akatsuki's _what? _I couldn't believe what I was hearing—me a pet? What exactly did _pets _of the Akatsuki do?

"**Simple. You do whatever is asked of you,**" the person said answering my question. Great, could he read minds too? That was just fantastic. The door behind me opened and Deidara stepped in. I was actually glad to see him, believe it or not. Anything to be away from someone who didn't blink and had a voice that sounded like it was from the grim reaper. No thank you.

"I think this would fit you better, hm." I could hear the smirk in his voice as he came over to me and put something around my neck. A...collar?! That's where I draw the line. I am not a dog!

"C'mon pet," Deidara said pulling me towards the door. I folded my arms and tried to stare daggers into the back of his head. Once we were out of the room , I tried to take the collar off.

"The more you struggle the tighter it gets, hm.."

My hands dropped to my sides and I turned my head the other way. Was everything in this place booby trapped? These people had way too much time on their hands. But bit by bit I was beginning to take the Akatsuki seriously. However, I still couldn't believe the whole 'nail polish' thing. Dangerous criminals who painted their nails? C'mon...

I couldn't see his hand because of the long sleeves of his cloak so I simply just grabbed it and looked at his fingernails. Yep, painted.

"Nice manicure," I said sarcastically. He replied with a 'hm..' Turning his hand over, I saw something that made me step back a few feet.

"You have mouths on your hands!" I half whispered/half yelled. Deidara gave me a look before continuing to pull me down the hall.

"And, hm?" he asked boredly.

"You Akatsuki sure are weird..." _That _was probably the understatement of the century. Just how long was I going to be kept as a pet by these people? And what would I have to _do? _Anything sexual was OUT of the question. I didn't care if I got hurt as long as I didn't have to do something like _that. _Quickly getting fed up with being tugged down the hall by a chain like an animal, I just refused to move all together. Deidara raised his one visible eyebrow at me as I sat on the floor, my arms folded. "What are you doing, hm?"

"I don't want to be your guys' pet!" I yelled up at him.

"You don't have much of a choice, hm."

In a way, he was right. If I was going to complete my mission, I would have to at least try to listen and be a good "pet" no matter how much I hated it. All for the sake of gathering information.

Deidara sighed and said, "If you don't get up i'll drag you, hm."

As I was about to standup, Deidara tugged the chain, causing me to lose my balance and fall flat on my face. That didn't stop Deidara from dragging me. While I was being dragged, I thought about what my family was probably doing. The twin monsters were probably glued to the television (or in my room), my mom was probably worried sick about me, and my dad was probably trying to comfort my mom. Knowing her, she probably wouldn't be sleeping well tonight. Pretty soon we were in a large room with a couch and a tv. Behind the couch was a doorway that looked like it led to a kitchen. There was a man on the far end of the couch looking boredly at me as I was dragged into what I assumed to be the 'living room..' He had red hair, brown-ish eyes and long eyelashes. Just how old were these Akatsuki exactly? They looked really young.

"Who's the girl?" he asked, resting his head on his hand.

"Akatsuki's new pet, hm.."

"Yeah under my free will," I muttered under my breath. Hearing me, Deidara gave the chain a tug making me fall. I swore to get him back for doing that. The man on the couch continued to look at me boredly before saying, "Oh...you're the girl who ran into me earlier.."

Earlier? I didn't remember seeing that guy at all earlier, and I have a pretty good memory if you didn't already know. The only Akatsuki members I saw earlier were Deidara and a big hulking type-thing with scary looking eyes. Unless he was the big hulking type thing...

I sighed in defeat. These people were getting stranger and stranger. And _I _had to be their _pet. _My mom would be so proud.

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"_Hm, she's alright."_

"_Pretty decent rack..."_

"_That's the best you could find, Deidara?"_

"_I wasn't looking for a pet, hm.."_

"_I think she's kinda cute."_

"_You think every woman who can breath is cute."_

"_Yeah until they see his face and run."_

"_Oh shut the hell up, Hidan."_

"_Don't tell me to shut up, b—" _

"_Did she have any money on her?"_

"_How old is she?"_

"_Why, you don't want to look like a pedophile?"_

"_..."_

"_It'll be bad for his 'reputation', hm."_

"_Piss off, Deidara."_

"_I dunno why he even asked. You're still a virgin aren't you, Kisame?"_

"_Hidan! Will you SHUT UP!?"_

"_Tell me to shut up one more time!"_

"_...Shut up."_

"_WHAT?! YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE?!"_

"_Will you calm yourself, Hidan?"_

"_Well tell him to quit working my nerves."_

I stared incredulously at the men in front of me. They had been standing around me in a circle for about 10 minutes, openly criticizing me, asking me questions and arguing. So these were the Akatsuki. What a 'frightful' bunch they were. My thoughts on them all were like so:

Deidara: Irritating; Good-looking(a little);mouths on hands

Sasori: Doesn't talk much; looks bored all the time

Itachi: Cool eyes; doesn't talk much; good-looking

Kisame: Scares me

Hidan: Curses a lot; worships "jashin"(?)

Kakuzu: Likes money(a lot)

Zetsu: Terrifies me

I couldn't go anywhere because Deidara had planted his foot right on the end of the chain. Without anything better to do, I rested my head on one hand. They sure did talk a lot.

"Hey sweetie," Hidan said, nudging my shoulder with his foot. "You know Zetsu there is a cannibal?"

I looked up at _Zetsu _with wide eyes. If I wasn't mistaken, cannibals were people who ate other people. He already had the resemblance of a venus flytrap, and now he was a _cannibal?!_

"Sure, scaring her is a good idea," Sasori added.

"I don't care if she's scared." Hidan bent down until he was eye-level with me. "I want her to be scared of me..."

Okay...

The other Akatsuki members pretty soon left to do whatever they did when they were in their HQ, leaving me with Deidara. I yanked at my chain impatiently, wanting to go curl up in a ball somewhere—I had a headache, my hair was wet and stuck to my face with sweat, I was STARVING and the bruises around my wrists were throbbing. To top it all off, I was downright exhausted and didn't care that I was being dragged again. All I wanted to do was be at home in my soft warm bed. Screw this mission.

"What's the matter, hm?"

I just growled at him in response. That little 'what happened/why are you mad at me' act was beginning to get on my nerves. Either he was doing it on purpose just to annoy me, or he really was _that _slow. Whichever it was, he'd better watch it. I bite when i'm mad. Fitting for a 'pet', right? As I was being pulled through the Akatsuki's lair I made a mental note of where everything was, how many doors were on what side of the hall, and so on. When I suddenly stopped moving I looked up at Deidara—we were in front of a door and I feared the worse. I did not want to go back into that filthy inferno anymore. When Deidara opened the door, I stayed rooted to my spot, despite his jerks and tugs. "Come on Shiori, hm.!"

"I'm not going back in that room!"

Giving me one final tug, he managed to drag me into the room and shut the door. This time he didn't leave. And I also noticed that this room wasn't hot and humid—it was cool. There was a bed and a small dresser with a lamp ontop of it. On the other side of the room was a doorway that led to a small bathroom.

"This is my room, hm.."

Apparently, everyone in the Akatsuki had their own room, which would explain all of the doors we passed. But then there was the empty rooms with bloodstains on the carpet...and bones.

"So," I said slowly. "What's up with the rooms you locked me in earlier?"

"Those are rooms where we keep captives...or eliminate them if they know too much, hm."

"Do you _always _eliminate captives?" I asked nervously.

Deidara shrugged. "Not _always, _hm.. If Leader is feeling generous that day, they'd probably just get their memory wiped. But that's rare, hm."

Oh joy. I assumed Leader to be the man who didn't blink and that announced me the pet of Akatsuki. But unfortunately, regardless if 'Leader' was in a good mood or not, getting killed or having my memory wiped would make my mission a complete failure. So unless I could escape somehow, I was pretty much screwed.

Deidara shrugged off his cloak and went into the bathroom. Before he shut the door, he poked his head out and said, "I wouldn't recommend leaving, hm. Hidan gets a little crazy when women are around."

I edged away from the door and sat cross-legged next to the dresser. For some reason I thought, Hidan looked a little like he was both a sadist and a masochist. A true S&M pervert.

In the bathroom, I could hear water running and steam began to seep into the room I was in. He was taking a shower. Having nothing to do but sit, I cautiously picked up his cloak—it might've had some kind of booby trap on it. Stupid sounding, yes, but so far everything from the chains to the collar were trapped so I wouldn't be surprised if their cloaks were too.

The cloak was heavy and made of thick fabric. It looked and felt like the heat would be suffocating if someone put it on. I really didn't understand how they could wear them. While I was alone, I looked myself over—both of my wrists had deep purple bruises on them from the chains earlier; my clothes were dusty and dirty from being dragged and my hair was soaked with sweat. Aside from being touched, being sweaty is another thing I absolutely hated. The sound of running water stopped and I sat on the floor, being the "good little pet I was." To keep myself going I constantly reminded myself that this was all for the sake of my village. I was determined not to fail this mission, even though an annoying voice in the back of my head kept mentioning that there was no way I could complete the mission.

Deidara stepped out of the bathroom and went right over to the dresser, paying no attention to the red faced girl in the corner. Hello? Didn't he notice their was a female in the room? His hair was down and it hung almost past half his back and he was wearing nothing but a towel—that looked in danger of falling to the ground any minute.

"You like what you see, hm?" Deidara turned around, a smirk plastered to his lips. Did that guy have any other facial expressions? I guessed not.

I folded my arms and looked away. "No I don't! Go cover yourself!"

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I woke up sometime later to feet shuffling around me. The headache had returned, feeling like bees were stinging the back of my eyeballs. The feet stopped right in front of my throbbing head and tapped impatiently. I'd really wished they would stop. It sounded like bombs going off for some reason.

"Wake up Shiori, hm."

Looking up, I could see one blue eye staring down at me. That's something I wanted to see when I woke up. I ignored him and put my head back down. Deidara put his hand over my face and let it hover there—obviously something to further irritate me. Just as I was about to swat his hand away, a tongue came out of his palm and licked me on the cheek. Gross.

"Sick! Get away from me, Deidara!"

"I like it when you're mad at me, hm."

I rolled my eyes and he started to laugh—it was surprisingly not unpleasant.

"Very funny," I said leaning up. "But i'm still pissed at you."

He shrugged and was about to say something when I interuppted him. "Say 'what did I do' and I swear i'll cut all your hair off."

Deidara took my chain and yanked—nearly choking me. I guess he was serious about his hair. "Where are you taking me?"

"I have something to take care of. _You _get to stay here and be a good little pet, hm." He patted me on the head and I pushed his hand away.

"I don't like to be touched!" I snapped at him.

He made a little 'oh' face and said, "If that's the case, you'll make a bad pet, hm.."

"Yeah," I rolled my eyes. "Humans don't make good pets. So sorry I wasn't born a cat."

Deidara smirked at that comment and dropped the chain right in the middle of the living room area. "See you Shiori, hm." I watched him leave through another door with what seemed to have a chakra barrier around it. What I also noticed was that the hideout appeared to be underground—there were no windows and it was sort of drafty. No wonder they wore those cloaks. The two rooms that I had previously been kept in were what I assumed to be under some kind of jutsu. If the rest of the hideout was as drafty and cool as it was now, there was no way those two rooms should be that blazing hot.

I also appeared to be alone—no other Akatsuki members in sight. I could finally get food! Creeping around like the unstealthy ninja I was, I made my way into the kitchen. It was surprisingly tidy and had a rather large refrigerator—the biggest I had ever seen. Since it was so big, I assumed it had tons of food inside. I was right—it was piled high with so much food that several items fell onto the floor when I opened the door. As quickly as I could, I started shoveling food into my mouth. Not very ladylike of me, but those rules didn't apply to people who were starving.

When I felt as if my stomach was about to burst open, I threw away the empty containers and bags and made my way back to the living room.

This time, I wasn't alone. Sitting on the far end of the couch once again, looking bored out of his mind, was Sasori. His eyes landed on me for a split second before returning to the television. Curious to see what exactly people like them watched, I looked at the tv also. The only thing on the screen was static. Well okay, then.

"Why are you watching static?" I asked, sounding more nervous and timid than I meant to.

Sasori didn't answer, he continued to stare at the screen. Maybe he hadn't heard me. "Why—"

"Because," he interrupted. "It's broken."

Well I obviously could see that. Looking around at the back of the tv, I saw two cords lying on the floor. One wasn't connected to anything—maybe that was the problem. So I picked it up and inserted it into a port on the back of the tv. It instantly came back on and I grinned—they could thank me later...by letting me go.

"Hm," was all Sasori said as the tv came back on. That could possibly be his way of saying thanks, so I went and sat on the floor at the opposite side of the couch.

Once an infomercial about newly developed kunai knives that never dulled went off, Sasori got up and left the room with the number scribbled on a piece of paper. As I watched him leave, something moved in the corner of my eye. It was a mouse—going dangerously close to a mouse trap. Feeling sorry for it, I hurriedly pushed it away. Getting your neck snapped isn't a very good way to go. I've always hated those mouse traps anyway. How much could it hurt to just take the mouse and release it outside somewhere? It was much better than having a dead mouse stinking up your house. The mouse was a dark brown and had big eyes and a nose that kept twitching. Knowing I couldn't keep it with me, I tried to find a way to get it outside.

The bulky door with the chakra barrier on it opened and the oh-so silent Itachi came in. I let the mouse go and hoped it would make it to the door before it closed. It scurried across the floor and managed to squeeze through the tiny opening just as the door shut. Yay, I did a good deed! Hopefully everyone else would be just as generous to me as I was to that mouse.


	4. Sake' and a Good Boy

~Chapter Four: Sake´ and a Good Boy~

By nightfall, Deidara still hadn't returned and I really wished someone would save me. For the past four hours I had been squashed in between a drunken Hidan and an even drunker Kakuzu who was counting a thick wad of cash. In the corner sat Zetsu, not moving at all and sitting on the back of the couch was Kisame—also drunk. On the way far end of the couch was Itachi, eyes closed and legs crossed. He had been drinking also, but I couldn't tell if he was completely wasted like the idiots sitting next to me.

I winced at Hidan's attempt to run his fingers through my hair. He had been petting me for hours—scratching my head with way to much force. I was surprised I wasn't bleeding. The good thing, however, was that I had learned a good chunk of info about these folk. Thanks to the sake´ of course. Even though it tasted horrible and got you trashed pretty quick, it also got people to let loose! So when any of you need to get some information out of a group of criminals, good ol' sake´ is the way to do it!

Another 'pet' to my head caused my headache to come back and I groaned. How would he like it if _I _kept petting _him _too hard? Ugh...he probably _would _like it. "_That hurts..."_

Hidan leaned down. "What you'd say, kitty cat?" Another thing that made me want to punch his face in—he kept calling me _kitty cat._ It was better than what he called me earlier (something i'd rather not repeat). He 'petted' me again and I swatted his hand away. "I SAID...that HURTS!"

I sort of expected to be hit or something and I braced myself for it. Instead of hitting me, Hidan started to laugh—a weird pattern of drunken "tee-hees" that made me want to tape my ears shut. When he finally stopped laughing, he put an arm around my neck before taking another swig of sake´.

"You're choking her, Hidan," said Kakuzu, still counting money.

"Yeah, so?"

I desperately tried to pry his arm from around my neck. I officially disliked Hidan.

"Meaning, you can't use her for anything if she's dead."

Hello? Suffocating girl here! And the fact that I was being referred to as some kind of object, bothered me. Hidan's choke hold loosened and he kept drinking.

The door with the chakra barrier around it slowly opened and a certain blond came through it. He raised his visible eyebrow at the scene in front of him. When his eye landed on me, I mouthed the words, '_Help Me.' _

Smirking, he continued on down the hallway. How rude. I'll remember that later, Deidara.

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People can be so cruel. So cruel that they would tie a girl up to a table leg, forcing her to watch them eat...without giving her any. If you hadn't guessed already, the girl i'm talking about is me. The "people" I was referring to was actually one person, since everyone else got hit by the sake´ train pretty hard. All aboard!

"I hate you," I mumbled, staring down at the floor.

"Of course you do, hm."

"I _really really _dislike you."

"I know."

"Why won't you guys just let me go?" I had so fortunately acquired enough information to fulfill my quota thanks to drunken Hidan. What a big mouth. Now I wanted so desperately to leave.

"Because you're a pet, hm."

I squinted at Deidara, who in turn squinted back. "And," I started. "Why do I always have to be around _you?"_

Deidara's eyebrow raised again. "Would you rather be around Hidan? He'd probably beat you until you were half dead and then have his way with you, hm."

What? I kept squinting and asked, "And why do you figure that?"

"Because it's happened before. Killed 4 women that way, hm."

Of course he did. To tell the truth, I honestly wasn't the least bit surprised.

"And," he said. "If I let you roam around here, you might see too much of something, hm. Or...you'd might not be able to keep your innocence."

My 'innocence'? I folded my arms. "How do you know that i—"

Deidara leaned back in the chair. "C'mon Shiori, hm. I can tell you're a v-i-r-g-i-n."

"Well t-that's none of your business!" I yelled, pointing a finger at him. "I bet you're a virgin too!"

"Oh?" He put his hands together and and tilted his head. "Take one look Shiori, hm. Do I look like a virgin?"

Blushing, I turned my head the other way. "I'd rather not talk about this subject anymore, if you don't mind Deidara."

Deidara got up and put his dirty dishes into the sink, smirking all the while. Man, I'd really like to wipe that smirk off his face one day.

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Since i've been held as the Akatsuki's 'pet,' I have been suspended in time. Since the hideout was underground, it made it really difficult to tell whether it was night or day. They didn't even have clocks! So to past the seemingly endless time that was supposedly 'night', I sat in Deidara's room and asked him questions. I could tell he was getting annoyed, but I could care less.

"Hey, Deidara...hey! Deidara! Listen to me!"

He stayed silent, his eye closed. I knew he wasn't asleep, because his eyebrow was twitching. Since he wasn't answering, I tried a different method. I poked him in the cheek—his eyebrow twitched yet again. "Answer one more question and i'll leave you alone."

"Fine, hm."

"What do you use the mouths on your palms for?" I asked plainly with my hands folded neatly in my lap.

He stared at me and said, "To make clay bombs..."

"Is that all?....hmmm..."

I cracked a small smile, waiting for his reaction. Deidara thought about it for a minute before rolling his eyes at me.

"Very funny, hm."

"I know, right? But—"

"Go to sleep, pet."

The very last thing on my mind was going to sleep. What I really wanted to do was take a shower—and wash away all of the dirt and sweat. I could at least be allowed that. Who wanted a 'pet' who was sweaty and gross?

"Deidara," I said.

"What, hm."

Trying to sound as sweet and non-irritated as possible, I asked, "Can I use your shower? Pretty please?"

Deidara stayed quiet, as if thinking about whether or not he should let me. I tugged on his long hair like an impatient child. I needed, no desperately needed to take a shower. It was something I never went a day without. "Go ahead, hm."

"Thanks...but I'm going to need to borrow some clothes."

He opened his eye. "Why."

I pointed to my filthy clothes. "Hello? Let me borrow some, stingy."

Sighing, Deidara pulled a bag out from under his bed and threw it at me—hitting me square in the chest. "Ow!" I yelled, picking it off the ground. Didn't he know that was a sensitive area? After I looked the bag over, I noticed it was _my _bag. I had totally forgotten about it.

Some contents were missing (candy that the twin monsters had given me) but what I really needed was there—a change of clothes and underwear. Yes! As fast as I could, I went into the small bathroom and shut the door. To be safe, I locked it. You never could be too safe with men around.

After my long shower, I stepped out of the bathroom in clean clothes feeling refreshed.

The room was dark and I could hear snoring. He was asleep already? To tell the truth, I was beginning to feel a bit sleepy also. Cold too. "Deidara?" I whispered, trying not to get him angry. The last thing I needed was to be blown apart because I interrupted his "beauty sleep."

In return, I got a 'hm,' and it sounded a little off. Maybe he was half-asleep.

"Are you slee-ping?" The twin monsters used to do that all the time to me. Annoying, yes, but they always ended up getting what they wanted.

Deidara's hand grabbed mine and he turned around to glare at me. Even though he was glaring at me, something still seemed off. His eye drooped and when I thought he was about to go back to sleep, it snapped back open.

"What the hell is up with your eye?" I asked.

"What the hell is up with your face, hm?"

Okay so he wasn't asleep. But he still had a firm grip on my bruised wrist.

"Let me go." I tried to pry his fingers off of my hand before _his _could start licking me. Too late.

A yelp escaped my throat and another hand clamped down over my mouth.

"Shut up, hm. You know how late it is?"

All he got as an answer was a muffled shriek—his freakish mouth hand was starting to lick me...on the mouth! When I finally pried his hand from over my mouth, I smacked him right on the forehead.

The bed creaked in the darkness and I could hear Deidara's bare feet on the floor as he went over to the door. "Out, hm," he said firmly. I guess I was nothing more than an animal to these people. I had lost count of how many times I was treated like a genuine puppy dog:

~Number of times taken OUTSIDE to use the bathroom: 5

~Number of times given leftover scraps of food: 2

~Number of times petted by Hidan: 79

~Number of times nearly choked to death by leash: 9

~Number of times smacked in the nose by rolled up newspaper: 4

~Number of death threats thought: Hundreds

"What do you mean 'out'?" I asked.

I could hardly see him standing over me, all I could see was his eye.

"Out Shiori, hm."

"Fine..." As slowly as I could, I inched my way over to the doorway. How mean would Deidara be to me before he was satisfied? The only reason I hovered around him was because he was the only one I could partially tolerate and/or wasn't afraid of.

When I made it into the hallway, Deidara shut the door, leaving me in the cold. It was really drafty and dark. I was pretty good with the dark, but being cold was another thing. It wasn't like I had fur, but maybe everyone saw it as that way. I was just a "pet" after all. And being the "good little pet" I was, I curled up into a ball and drifted off to sleep.

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"_So she's the pet?"_

"_Yeah, hm."_

"_Oh wow! What breed is she?"_

"_A pain-in-the-ass terrier."_

"_Why does she look mad?"_

The reason I looked _mad _was because two people were standing over me when I was trying to sleep. And I hoped Deidara knew that I heard his little 'pain-in-the-ass terrier' remark. Everyday he added to his penalty list. Opening my eyes, the first thing I saw was a bright orange swirly mask with one hole in it—about 2 inches away from my face.

"Get back!" My arms shot out in front of me, knocking the masked person down. It was something I hated waking up too—someone too close. The twin monsters had suffered many a smack to the face that way.

The masked person stood up and faced Deidara. "Can I walk her? Can Icanicanicanicanicanicanicanicanicanicanicanicani—"

"Alright! Shut up, hm."

Before I could say anything in protest, I was being pulled to the door by a man in a mask.

Once we were outside, I took in as much fresh air as I could. It was a beautiful day, blue skies and chirping birds and all.

"I'm Tobi."

I looked over at him. "Yeah...hi."

"What's your name?"

"Shiori."

Tobi dropped my chain to bend down and take a rock that had gotten stuck to his shoe out. I watched him lazily, until a gear in my head started moving. He dropped the chain! Meaning I could escape! If I took off now, I could leave! Before Tobi could look up, I was already running through the woods as fast as I could.

"Shiori, wait!" I heard him yell from behind me. "Don't run away from Tobi! Tobi's a good boy!"

Yep. See you later, good boy.


	5. A Warning

Chapter Five: A Warning

Ignoring Tobi's yells, I continued to run as fast as I could through the thick forest. I had no idea where I was exactly, but I kept on running. All I needed to do was make it back to my village, and I would complete my mission. A thick tree root caught my foot and I fell, headfirst over a steep hill leading down to a stream. The last thing I wanted was to be wet and gross again, so I caught myself on another tree root sticking out of the side of the hill.

But there was a big mud stain going down my side. So much for staying clean.

I continued running, getting hit in the face by branches and vines. Where the heck was this place? The forest was so thick, it was dark even though it was morning.

By the time I reached the end of the forest, my legs felt like wet noodles. But it was worth it.

Hearing a familiar sounding **BOOM** in the distance, I tried to force my legs to keep moving. "C'mon!" I yelled. "He's coming!" Something small whizzed past my face and I swatted at it. It came right back around my head and once again I swatted at it. The next time it whizzed by my head, I snatched it right out of the air.

It was a small skinny bird with black eyes. The thing was that it didn't look real...it looked artificial just like a giant bird belonging to a blond bombshell I knew. I threw it as far as I could and tried to move away from it.

**Boom!**

The impact of the explosion sent me flying and flipping over the ground like a rock. When I finally landed with a hard **wham **on the dirt, it felt like something was popping inside my head. Everything ached and my left eye had gone blurry. I had no clue what the exact damage was to my body but the pain was excruciating. The sound of wings flapping got closer and closer until it landed right next to me. Deidara hopped off the bird and flipped me over with one of his feet. As he bent down to look at me, I could see the expression on his face—he was MAD. Deidara was the only Akatsuki member that I _wasn't _really afraid of, but now seeing his face, I was more afraid of him then ever.

He cupped my chin with his hand and continued to look me over before scratching his head. "...Guess I used too much."

I wanted to say, 'You think!' but nothing came out of my mouth except for pained wheezes.

"Get up, hm," he said, prodding me with his foot.

I stayed motionless, wishing the pain would go away. Stupid Deidara and his bombs. Getting fed up apparently, Deidara yanked me up by the chain around my neck and flung me over the clay bird.

"Dumbass Tobi...," he muttered angrily. "I knew I shouldnt've let him take you outside, hm."

Because of Deidara's gentleness when putting me on the bird, tears were now streaming down my cheeks. "Stop crying, hm."

I really wanted to strangle him. Why did he think I was crying? Did he almost get blown to pieces? I think _not. _

"I'm... NOT crying," I said through heavy breaths. "YOU... tried to kill... me."

He shrugged and folded his arms. "You shouldn't have tried to escape, hm. You only have two options...die or get your memories wiped. But this pretty much took you back to one, hm. Too bad, I just started to like you Shiori, hm."

I didn't hear anything he said, for I had already sunk into the darkness.

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Death by explosion. Sounds awful, right? Awful, painful, hell. But it didn't feel like anything after a while. I couldn't feel anything or hear anything. All I could see was darkness. Maybe I was dead. If this was death, then I think I would be alright. But the silence was what would cause me to go insane. But being insane probably wouldn't matter since I was dead...probably. I'd also hoped that death would be a little more...scenic. Especially for good people. Not just darkness. And I was supposed to be this way forever? 'Till the end of time? No way! I was too young to die! I had family! My mom, dad, and especially the twin monsters! I thought about their faces, and how much I missed them when I saw a light. It was bright and seemed far away. Maybe I was getting close to heaven! If I got to heaven, i'd get to see my dearly departed grandmother and my dog...everyone who I had lost. And—

"_Shiori!"_

The darkness all around me began to fade away and I saw the outline of someone standing over me. I couldn't tell who it was, but It didn't matter to me—i was alive. Probably. Either I was in heaven, or I was alive. My hearing came back and I heard cries and wails from all around me. Whoever it was, I wanted them to stop. The noise was making my head pound.

I slowly and painfully moved my head over to look in the direction of the racket. There were several people, huddled together.

My body still ached horribly, but the pain had numbed some since my encounter with...what was his name again? Well there goes my photographic memory...i must have taken a pretty hard blow to the head for me to forget something. When my vision cleared, I saw who the people were—mom, dad, Ami and Ichiru. They were the ones who were crying...over me.

Speaking was not an option, the only thing that came out was a strange warbled groan. It wasn't what I was aiming for, but it was a start. Four heads popped up in my direction.

The twin monsters ran over to me first, saying my name through their tears. My mom put her hand over her mouth and burst into tears, burying her face in my dad's chest. I leaned up as Ichiru jumped up into my lap. It hurt an awful lot, but I didn't say anything. Snot and tears ran down Ichiru's face as he wrapped his arms around my stiff neck.

Ami hopped up too and I ended up grunting in pain, which in turn caused them both to cry louder.

"I'm okay, you two! Stop...crying!"

When the two had settled down some and were beginning to fall asleep, my parents came over to me.

"I'm so glad you're okay, Shiori!" my mom yelled, planting kisses all over my head. Out of habit, I leaned away from her and she smiled. Her smile faded as she fingered a chain wrapped around my neck.

"Shiori...what is this?"

"I...don't know."

Mom nodded and said, "I'll let you rest, honey." She picked Ami up and handed her to dad. When she went to get Ichiru, he opened his mouth and shrieked.

"Ichiru honey, we need to let your sister rest."

He shrieked again and buried his face in my neck. Ami jumped down from dad's arms and climbed onto my bed. I guess I wouldn't be resting.

"Okay then, rest up Shiori."

"I will, mom."

When my parents left the room, I tried to move Ichiru off of me and onto my bed but he started to whine. Ami was asleep to the right of me and I noticed a small white crane sitting on the windowsill above her. Attached to it was a piece of paper.

_Don't think you're home free, Shiori._

_You're still the Akatsuki's pet._

_Try to take the chain off, you'll die. Say anything to anybody and you'll die._

_See ya soon when you're not ugly and injured!_

_Deidara ^-^_

_P.S. I'll know if you say anything. Say hello to the crane._

_P.P.S For running off, there's a penalty game waiting for you. Toughen up!_

Deidara. Now I remember. It all came back to me in a big wave. I was the Akatsuki's pet, so to speak. The reason I was their pet was still a blur, as to why I couldn't remember any of the information about their plans and whatnot. So as far as I knew, mission: failed.

Oh well. I could at least try to enjoy the time away from the Akatsuki as much as I could. Too bad I couldn't remember anything about them except for their names/faces/mannerisms. Ichiru, who was watching me, put his hand on my face. "Are you okay, 'Ori?"

"Yeah i'm fine." I put the paper inside my nightstand drawer and closed it. Nobody needed to see that. I didn't want anybody else in my family to get tangled up in this Akatsuki mess. My eyes went over to the crane on the windowsill. It stared back at me with its head tilting from side to side. Ichiru followed my eyes and reached out for the crane.

"Don't touch that!" I yelled. He flinched and started to cry again. Jeez...the twin monsters were such crybabies. And I bet you're wondering why I refer to them as 'twin monsters'. Whenever they get mad, sad, etc., they start to shriek and yell like little monsters. It's very irritating to listen to. And yelling at them to stop will only make it worse.

"Stop crying Ichiru," I said, rubbing his hair. "Crying makes you seem weak."

He sniffled and hiccuped, wiping his snotty nose on my shirt. Yuck. The crane on my windowsill kept tilting its head from side to side as it hopped onto my bed and to my nightstand. I wanted to smash it so bad, but it would probably explode, so I decided against it.

"Knock knock..." My bedroom door opened and mom came in holding a bowl. It was shaking in her hands, so I guessed it was piping hot. She set it down and said, "Do you think you can handle a bowl of beef stew?"

My stomach rumbled in reply and I nodded. Yay food! Ichiru smiled—showing his missing tooth and said happily, "I'll help you eat!"

"Noo," mom said, going over and lifting Ichiru off of me. "You're going to leave your sister alone. You too, Ami."

Slowly, Ami leaned up and wiped her eyes. She looked at me once before hopping off my bed and into the hallway.

When I was alone, I looked over the letter again, then at the collar around my neck. If I couldn't remember anything, then why was I still the Akatsuki's 'pet?' Why were they still bothering me? Especially _Deidara_. He almost blew me to pieces but he had the nerve to write a happy face on the letter like we were good pals.

I ate the bowl of deliciousness as fast as I could—despite being burned on the tongue and set the bowl back on my nightstand. The crane kept tilting its head back and forth, really really bothering me. It wasn't real, so it wouldn't count as animal cruelty if I smashed it right?


	6. Unexpected Visitor

Chapter Six: Unexpected Visitor

The days came and went, and I saw no sign of the Akatsuki. I was glad, but also a little bit worried. My wounds were beginning to heal fast(with the help of some medical ninja) and every possible second I was looking outside my window. My parents were getting worried too. After dinner one night they sat down and tried to talk to me.

"Shiori," my mom said, putting a hand over mine. "Why do you constantly look out of the window or behind you?"

"um..." I didn't know whether I should tell them or not. I bet you're wondering why the heck i'm even contemplating on whether or not I should tell. I mean, the Akatsuki were all wanted criminals! And they held me captive and treated me like a dog! No brainer, right?

"Well..." I looked up at the ceiling, then at my mom. "Truthfully...I'm trying to see if they're watching me..."

"Who, honey?"

The crane that wouldn't stop following me began to shake its head faster than usual, and I shut up.

"_Mommmmyyy,_" came the twin monsters' voice from in the kitchen. "_Someone's at the door!"_

Dad got up and made his way to the kitchen. Due to my newly developed paranoia, I debated on if I should turn around or not. I heard footsteps behind me, and the look on mom's face told me it was someone she didn't know.

"_Who _are you?" her and dad asked at the same time. I was starting to get nervous, still not looking at the person behind me.

Mom, who looked as if she was thinking, opened her mouth and said, "Black cloaks...red clouds—" she gasped. "You're in the Akatsuki!!"

I heard dad go, "_What?!" _

"Don't worry." My heart tried to escape through my throat. "I just came to get back our property, hm."

"And what might that be?" Dad asked, folding his arms. He looked ready to jump into action if he needed to. I felt the familiar tug on my neck and my mom hurriedly pulled me away towards her. Did they forget i'm still not yet fully healed? Man...

"She isn't _your _property!" Mom yelled. "Don't put your filthy hands on her, anymore!"

By this time, the twin monsters had entered the room, holding hands. They both hissed at Deidara (surprise! Didya know it was him? I did! I never forget voices, people) and came to stand behind me. I still hadn't turned around—i didn't want to see that smirk.

"I'm trying to be nice, hm."

The twin monsters started to do the 'finishing-each-others-sentences' thing. It was only annoying half of the time.

"You're..," started Ichiru.

"...A bad man," finished Ami.

"We..."

"...Don't like you."

"So leave..."

"...Big sister alone."

I felt their little hands wrap around mine. Too bad Deidara didn't have a soft spot for a pair of 6-year old twins. He took a step forward and yanked on the chain, making me fall backwards into his arms.

"Sorry. Shiori belongs to the Akatsuki, hm."

Ugh, there goes the smirk. Mom, Ami, and Ichiru started tugging at me, forcing me into a game of tug-of-war. Only I was the rope. Fun!

To my dismay, mom started to cry. As did the twin monsters. "Please don't take my Shiori!" she pleaded. It tugged on my heart strings and I tried to pull away from Deidara. He kept a firm grip around my waist, no emotion showing on his face. Deciding it was time for him to be out of there, Deidara yanked me out of the door,kicking and screaming, and ontop of his bird. Ichiru hopped up and grabbed my leg, climbing onto my lap. Deidara reached over to push him off, but I stopped him. Hopping down of the bird, I set Ichiru on the ground. The bird had already taken off, lifting me off the ground by my neck. Like I haven't had enough of that. I had to close my eyes, so I wouldn't burst into tears at the sight below me. The twin monsters looked absolutely terrified, my mom had fainted, and dad was nowhere in sight.

Oh yeah, I was choking. I grabbed at the collar and pulled, but oh my, it got tighter! Just when I thought I was going to pass out, Deidara pulled me up.

"You're purple, hm."

I rubbed my sore throat, giving him a dirty look. "You're terrible."

"Thanks."

"You have no heart."

"Oh? Then whats that beating in my chest, hm?"

"You know what I mean! Why'd you kidnap me again?"

"You belong to the Akatsuki, hm. And frankly, i've been getting tired of hearing Tobi apologize and Hidan complaining about how he needs to get laid, hm."

My eyebrow raised and I folded my arms. Excuse me? "I'm not sleeping with him."

Completely changing the subject, Deidara asked, "How old are you, hm?"

"...17 if you must know."

"Aren't you going to ask how old I am?"

"Don't care," I said, rubbing my neck. I felt him come behind me and I my face grew hot. What the heck?

"So if i'm 40, you wouldn't care?" He was breathing down my neck.

"I know you're not 40. Get from behind me."

Of course, he didn't listen. Not that I really expected him to. Instead, he brushed my hair away from my neck and put his manicured fingernails on my shoulders. Remember the thing about me not liking to be touched? I brought my elbow back sharply, catching him right in the stomach. The wind left him with a little **oof**.

"If you're so horny, go pick up somebody else. Not me. No thanks."

That god awful smirk reappeared and he folded his arms underneath his cloak. Looking at trees soon got boring, so I looked sideways at Deidara. His hair was whipping around his face in the wind and I became a little jealous. How did his hair become nicer than mine? It was silky and soft, falling just about anywhere he wanted, unlike mine—unshiny, and full of split ends. Another thing that ticked me off about him.

I noticed the bird started to descend, but we were at a different forest from what I remember. "Where are we?"

"A forest, hm."

I had to resist the urge to kick him. "I know that," I said.

"Just shut up and follow me, hm."

Removing his cloak, Deidara tossed it to me and I almost fell backwards.

"Hold it," he said walking ahead.

"Why do I have to hold your stupid cloak?"

"Because I said so, hm."

I glared at the back of his head as I followed him onto a road. The road soon ended at a small town, full of hustling/bustling people. Many people stared at the collar around my neck, its heavy chain digging a small trench in the dirt. I wanted to know why we were in a town full of people in the first place. People could recognize him and cause a big fuss. If I thought I had any chance of surviving, I would have tried to fight off Deidara a while ago.

We came to a stop in front of an inn. It looked old and friendly, as if it had been there for years. It probably had. But...

We were in front of an INN? Why? My heart started pumping furiously in my chest and I thought it was going to soar out of my mouth. Deidara entered and I hesitantly followed behind, my chain making a scraping noise on the floor. The old man behind the counter looked at me in surprise, then at Deidara.

Watching them, I could tell that the little old man was terrified of Deidara and I almost laughed. Who could be afraid of _him? _The old man shakily handed a room key up to Deidara, dropping it on the counter in the process. When he picked it back up, Deidara snatched it, causing the man to flinch.

"Come on Shiori, hm."

Staying rooted to my spot, I shook my head. The old man watched us in suspicion. Turning around, Deidara gave a sharp tug on the chain and I fell, headfirst into the hard floor.

The old man gasped, running around the counter . "Are you okay, young lady? Is this brute bothering you?"

Befire I could answer, Deidara was already impatiently dragging me on the floor. "You're...choking...me!"

"Then stop being a bad dog, hm." He let the chain go and I stood up, dusting myself off with little success. Man, I could never stay clean around him! We stopped in front of a door with a number 203 on it. Deidara inserted the key into the lock and turned—the door clicked and opened.

The room had one bed (ugh) and a small nightstand right next to it. There was a lamp attached to the wall, a window, and a television set. Overall, it was a pretty nice looking room.

"What's up with the room?" I asked.

Deidara took his cloak from me and pulled it on with a bored look on his face. "I have something to do, hm. You're staying here until I get back."

"How many nights are you paying for?"

"I'm not paying, hm."

"Right...didn't expect a criminal to actually do something civil...Like helping that little old man."

He gave me a look before stuffing the room key in his pocket. As he was leaving out, he turned and said, "Don't leave this room, hm."

Well, I guess I was back in solitary confinement.

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The sun was just starting to rise when the door flew open. I jumped and fell off of the bed, looking around wildly. There were people sleeping in this inn, meaning no one was supposed to burst in the door like that. The lamp turned on with a click, illuminating the entire room. I had to squint as Deidara flopped down on the bed on his back. There were a few scrapes and cuts on his face and his hair had a twig and some leaves in it.

I moved to the television and sat in front of it, seeing that I no longer could use the bed. Deidara continued to lie motionless on the bed, his visible eye closed and I wondered if he had died or something. Nope...still breathing. I felt my face beginning to grow hot again as I watched him sleep, or lie unconscious, and I stared at an old infomercial on the tv screen. Why was I blushing? Truthfully, I didn't know myself.

_'You're attracted to him,' _said a voice in the back of my mind. I shoved the thought away and continued to watch Deidara. His breathing was slow and steady, and he had a frown on his face. Absentmindedly, I reached over and picked a leaf out of his bangs. His nose twitched, but his eye stayed closed. Next, I picked a twig out his ponytail. His eye shot open and I froze, my hand still hovering over his head.

"What are you doing, hm?"

I put my hand down and turned around. "Nothing."

He leaned up and said, "Oh really? You don't like to be touched, but you don't mind touching other people, hm."

My face grew hot again and I glared at the television, trying not to whirl around and punch him. Stupid good-looking idiot!

"Not that I mind."

"Shut up."

"But if you wanted _that, _all you needed to do was ask, hm."

Still glaring as hard as I could, I backed into the bathroom and shut the door behind me.

After what seemed like an eternity of me sitting in the empty bathtub, I opened the door and peeked out of it. Deidara was on his stomach, his visible eye staring lazily at the small television. Moving as slowly as I could, I edged over to the other side of the room and sat down on the floor. I swear, any longer sitting on hard flat surfaces and I'll probably get hemorrhoids. My butt soon started to ache sitting on the floor and I eyed the bed. It was fluffy and soft, like a cloud. If only Blond Bombshell wasn't sprawled out across it, I could sit on it. "Could you move?" I asked with acid dripping off my voice.

Deidara ignored me, flipping the channels as if I hadn't even said anything.

"_Ah-hem..."_

He turned his head slightly, his eyebrow raised.

"Can I get the bed back, please?"

"I never took it from you, hm."

"But you stink and have leaves in your hair..." I pointed to the ones I hadn't removed yet. From the looks of it, he had just went on a mission or something , and he smelled like outside. After a few minutes, Deidara got up and went into the bathroom. Maybe he smelled himself. At home, the twin monsters wouldn't take a bath unless you told them to do so and even then, it would take all your strength just to make them get undressed and into the tub. They always _had _to take a bath either together or with their big sister (me, in case you didn't know). Sure, they were only 5, but frankly I was getting tired of relaxing in the bathtub when Ami or Ichiru (sometimes BOTH) would run into my bathroom and jump right into my bathtub. I suffered many bruises that way.

"SHIORI!"

I yelped and almost fell off of the bed. There was no need for him to yell like that, did he think I was deaf? "What?!"

Deidara didn't say anything. Maybe he hadn't heard me.

"WHAT?!"

"COME HERE, HM!"

That speech impediment of his sounded absolutely hilarious when he yelled and I cracked up all the way to the bathroom door. I reached for the handle, and stopped. What if he was naked behind that door? My face grew hot just thinking about it. Common sense told me that being attracted to a criminal probably wasn't a very good idea. I don't know, that's just my opinion.

"Are you naked in there?" I asked with my ear pressed up against the door.

"No, hm."

Good, right? But he could be lying. I opened the door with my eyes tightly shut, bumping into him in the process. Okay, so he wasn't naked. But he was shirtless and I noticed something I hadn't before. There appeared to be a mouth that had been sewn shut on his chest. It looked really freaky and creeped me out a bit. Did everyone in his family have these things? As I was looking at the weird mouth type thingie, I started noticing everything else: the rock hard abs, etc. etc. In short, things I shouldn't be really paying attention to. His hair was down and I wanted to punch him. Why? Because I was attracted to him, and I didn't know if I should be. That's why. See? I admitted it. But no one else would no that except for me.

"Shiori, hm."

I snapped back into reality and looked at him. In the face, this time. He pointed to the bathtub, where a kunai knife and a few shuriken were lying. Oops. Even on days off, I always carried a holster full of weapons attached to my leg. Looking down, I saw that the holster was open. I bent down to reach for them when Deidara tugged on the chain.

"Relax," I said, making him drop the chain. "If I thought I could win, I would've attacked you ages ago."

I had to admit, I was pretty strong myself, but from my research and memory that was coming back, Deidara was an S-ranked criminal and he specialized in explosions. And after the experience of almost being blown up, I had no wish to be all the way blown up. So no, I wouldn't try to fight him unless he had no way to make those bombs of his.

After replacing the fallen weapons I nodded once and left the bathroom. See? I was honest. And honesty is the best policy...most of the time.


	7. Dead Dog

Chapter Seven: Dead Dog

As the bathroom doorknob clicked, I hurriedly closed my eyes, pretending I was asleep. I could hear Deidara's bare feet padding on the carpet over to the bed. It sunk a little as he sat on it. There was a few moments of silence before I decided to open my eyes again. The bed creaked and I shut them. It creaked again and I felt him hovering over me. Any closer and I'd have to slap him. That's just how I am, no hard feelings. His fingers brushed my thigh and I automatically tensed up. Just what did he think he was doing? I just dismissed it as a mistake—just this once. Again his fingers brushed the same spot on my thigh. Just as I was about to kick him, I heard the sound of metal clanging together. My weapons! Before he could remove them all from the holster I rolled over, trying to fall on the floor. Deidara caught me with one arm, rolling me sideways.

"Stop touching me!" I yelled. Opening my eyes, I saw that his face was closer to mine than I had even thought. My hand shot out in front of me, but he grabbed it before it smacked into his face.

"Smack me and I'll blow you up, hm."

"Go ahead," I said smartly. "Blow me up, I don't care."

He looked over to where a gray bag lay on the table, then back at me. "Too bad I don't feel like it."

"Wussy." I actually hadn't thought about that before I said it. Last time I checked, pushing a criminal's buttons wasn't a very wise choice. But hey, who said I was wise? "Get off me."

To my surprise, he actually listened. But not before confiscating all of my weapons that I wasn't going to use on him...not even in his sleep! Deidara went over to the table and pulled his cloak back on, not before attaching the bag of clay back to his pants. "Pet, we're leaving, hm."

So now I was just plain 'pet' again. Maybe he didn't take rejection very well. If you could call that rejection.

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Okay people, if you didn't know, I really REALLY dislike the Akatsuki member known as Hidan. He really REALLY irritated me, almost as much as Deidara. And that's saying something. Oh yeah, and Tobi was beginning to annoy me too. His constant apologies of letting me go made me want to break his mask in half.

Hidan turned away and I used that moment to crawl of the couch and around the corner. I bumped into Tobi, who just looked down at me with that one eyehole in his mask. Creepy.

"...Hey Tobi...?"

He bent down.

"Why do you wear that mask? What's your face look like?" I reached for his swirly mask and he backed away out of my reach. This made me twice as curious to know what his face looked like. Maybe it was severely deformed or something. Or maybe it was so good-looking that anyone who saw it went blind!

"Just let me take a peek!" I reached for his mask again.

I was met with a flick on the nose and a , "Bad dog!" Really nice. By now I was so tired of being called a dog and being treated like one. Fine. If that's how they wanted it, I'd act like a dog!

Trying my absolute best, I backed up and growled. It was so convincing, I even surprised myself! I tried the growl again then ended it with a loud bark. Tobi backed up and walked away, looking back once he was far enough. After scaring him away, I started to feel sad and depressed. Not because I barked at him, but because I missed my family. They were probably worried sick and I hoped I hadn't given my mom a heart attack. It's not like I _wanted _to get kidnapped, but I knew if I didn't go along...Blond Bombshell would probably blow my house up. This mess probably wouldn't have happened if I was never sent on this dumb mission in the first place—now I was trapped with these people. And the only way I would escape would be if I died...

That's it! The only way I would escape would be if I died! Not actually die, but make everyone think I was dead...Sounds like a perfect plan, right? Whatever.

But how to be dead?

I closed my eyes and tried to be dead. Be dead...be dead...be dead...be dead...be dead...be dead...

Everything faded. I couldn't see anything, or feel anything—all I could do was hear but everything sounded weird and far away. Pretending to be dead was a piece of cake! No problem! You need a fake corpse? Gimme a call and I'll be there!

"What did you do Tobi, hm?" It was Deidara's voice. He sounded completely uncaring, as usual.

"I didn't do anything, senpai!"

Senpai? Wow.

"She isn't breathing..."

I wasn't? Oh man. Hopefully I was still 'pretending' to be dead. You hear that God? I'm not serious!

"...Oh no senpai! I think she's dead!" Yeah, that's what you 'think,' Tobi. After even more apologies from Tobi, I started to hear other voices.

"Aw man, she dead already?! Nice work, shitface."

"I didn't kill her! Tobi's a good boy!"

"Get rid of her before she starts smelling..."

I felt my body being lifted up and carried off somewhere. Judging by how the air suddenly got warmer, I guessed we weren't in the hideout anymore. I was outside! This plan was beginning to work perfectly.

All of a sudden, I hit the ground and was beginning to be dragged by the chain around my neck. I didn't really feel the rocks and roots I was being pulled over, but I knew that once I woke up I would.

I came to a stop and the chain hit the ground with a heavy _**thunk**_. Whose ever job it was to "dispose of the body" bent down and put their hand over my face. Something flicked my cheek. A tongue maybe? I had no clue. I'm "dead" remember?

"Guess you are dead, hm."

So it was Deidara. Too bad I "died" and wouldn't be able to see that smirk again. Ah, life is really too short. After a while I decided to stop the whole 'i'm dead' thoughts. I was really starting to get worried that I might not be able to wake back up.

Deidara's hand brushed my messy bangs off my face and didn't move. What was he doing this time? I started to feel his breath on my face and if I was "alive" I would be freaking out right about now. But, it could've been his hand again.

"You're an idiot..."

Gee, thanks Deidara. You're also an idiot that from a distance resembles a woman and i'm attracted to you for some reason. Before things got anymore awkward, I decided maybe it was time for me to come back to life. I tried the best I could. Be alive...be alive...be alive...be alive...be alive....COME BACK TO LIFE!!!!!

Alright...that didn't work at all. I started to freak out inside my mind. It was like having an out of body experience but then not being able to get back into your body afterwards. This was possibly the most terrifying moment of my entire life. Had I accidentally killed myself trying to pretend to be dead?

I tried again. Be alive...be alive...be alive...be alive...be—

It felt as if a light switch had been turned on inside of me. I could feel my heartbeat, the numbness in my body had disappeared, and everything sounded clear and non-fuzzy.

Ah, it was great to be alive again! I opened my eyes and saw Deidara's blue one. Once he realized I wasn't dead, he looked like he was about to start snarling at me.

"Good Morning, Musume!" I said as pleasantly as I could.

Deidara continued to glare daggers into my face as I smiled weakly. What? Ami and Ichiru used to wake me up by saying, "Good Morning, Musume!" It's a play on words, get it? If you don't, I suggest you do some research.

Deidara leaned up off of me and stepped down hard, right on my stomach. He didn't just do it once, not twice, but so many times that I was starting to cough up blood. Once I felt like my stomach had split in two, I held my arms up. Deidara backed up and glared down at me, who was coughing frantically and was bleeding out of her mouth. I rolled over and everything that was in my stomach came out—most of it was red gloppy blood. That devil! That brute! That feminine looking man!

"What was that for?" I doubled over, holding my burning stomach. Did childbirth hurt this much? If it did, then I am sorry mom for doubting you. Normally I don't curse a lot (in front of people), but this time was different. I rolled back and forth, letting about every single curse word known to man fly out of my mouth.

Deidara lifted me up by my hair and continued to glare at me. What did I do to him? He shouldn't be this mad that I pretended to be dead unless...he actually cared? I swung forward and kicked him right in the stomach with both of my legs. He grunted and released my hair, giving me a chance to run away. Sure I had gotten caught last time, but who's to say I won't make it this time?

Once more I had made it out of the forest (thanks to my memory) and once more I began to hear **booms **in the distance. Deja´ vu, anyone? To tell the truth I didn't know why I was running. Maybe I was running to get back to my family, maybe I was running because I was beginning to fall for a criminal and that scared me. There was a big war going on inside of my head and I didn't know which side to fight for.

One side of my mind was telling me that I might love Deidara and that I should stay with the Akatsuki...as their 'pet.' The other side was telling me that he was a wanted S-rank criminal and that I was a complete idiot for falling for him and my family mattered most. I bet you're thinking I should just choose the second one, right? Well...it's not that easy, i'm afraid.

Farther ahead, on a different road, was a man on a horse pulling a wagon. He was headed in the direction that led to a town. Pumping as much chakra into my feet as I could, I ran straight for him, trying not to trip over my own feet.

I slowed to a stop on the side of his horse, trying to get his attention before Deidara caught up with me. I looked back and saw a speck, getting closer and closer. At the last minute, I dove into his wagon and folded myself up as tight as I could in the farthest corner. Opening my eye a tiny bit, I saw Deidara fly right overhead on his bird—towards the town. Meaning I couldn't go there. I rolled off of the man's wagon and came around back to the side of him.

"Where...are...you going?" My voice sounded like absolute crap and the inside of my stomach throbbed with every breath I took. The man jumped at the sound of my voice and his mouth dropped open when he saw me.

"..uh..I'm going through this town here to my home.."

"Take...me too, alright?"

He stayed silent, his eyes darting around him.

"TAKE ME WITH YOU!" I yelled, using about the last bit of strength I had. I weakly grabbed onto his horse's saddle as I started to feel dizzy. The man hopped off of his horse and helped me to his wagon, saying reassuring things to me. Yeah, hopefully he was right.


	8. Extra Extra Read All About It!

**Hello all! Here's the next chapter and thx for the reviews!**

* * *

Chapter Eight: Extra! Extra! Read All About It!

I opened my eyes to a blue eye and I screamed. The person with the blue eye screamed too. It was a female's voice. I sighed in relief and tried to lean up with little success. The person in front of me was a little girl, smaller than the twin monsters, with blue eyes and brown hair that was pulled into two small ponytails on the side of her head. She peeked at me from behind a chair and frowned.

My lower body ached horribly and I fell onto my back again.

"Papa says your in-test-tynes are messed up," she said in a small cute voice. It reminded me of Ami and I sighed. The little girl came over to me and looked up with her huge eyes.

"He went to get a medical ninja to heal you. Oh!" She held one finger up and looked around. "Papa also says to stay inside because there's a man lurkin' around town so be careful!"

'A man lurking around town?' I knew who that was. Trying again to lean up, I clenched my fists at the pain I was greeted with.

"Where's your bathroom?" I asked.

The little girl pointed to a door and I slowly and painfully made my way over to it. Once I was in the bathroom, I looked myself over: my hair was wild and everywhere, there was a bruise on my cheek, I had numerous cuts everywhere, and my stomach was red and bruised from Deidara's little walk all over it. The collar and chain still hung around my neck and my hand automatically went to it, tracing the worn leather with my fingers. I leaned forward, trying to look at my neck under the collar. There was a deep purple ring around it from being tugged and yanked around like a rag doll. I rolled my eyes at how "pretty" I looked. Haven't had a boyfriend in 17 years and now I probably would have to wait another 17 to get one. Thanks, Deidara.

The little girl poked her head in the doorway and looked up at me.

"Papa's back with the medical ninja."

The medical ninja hardly said anything except for "Aaah," or sometimes "Hmmm."

I sighed in frustration as he stared at my red stomach. I wished he would hurry up and do something about it. A green glow emitted from both of his hands as he held them over my stomach. The pain got worse and worse and I yelled out, gritting my teeth.

It took over an hour for the medical ninja to finish his job and as soon as he did, I was up ready to move out. As I made my way to the front door, a newspaper lying on a couch caught my eye. I picked it up, seeing an awfully familiar face on it—me. _My _face was on the freakin' newspaper! It read:

**MISSING PERSON**

**Name: Shiori Takamiya**

**Age: 18**

**Sex: Female**

**Height: 5'7''**

**Weight:128 lbs**

**Occupation: Shinobi**

**Description: Dark blue hair usually kept in a ponytail. Gray eyes. Last seen wearing a black tank top and tan shorts. Kidnapped by a member of the organization, Akatsuki. **

Whoa. They were looking for me! My family hadn't given up hope! What I did notice was that on 'age' it said '18.' Not 17. Was that a typo? Wait...

I looked over at a calendar and gasped—yesterday was my birthday! I missed my own 18th birthday by being with Deidara and the other Akatsuki! That was just absolutely fantastic.

My family was actually trying to look for me, and that gave me mixed feelings. Why couldn't I decide on what to do? Running away from issues wouldn't solve anything and that was exactly what I was doing—running away. And that issue had blond hair and mouths on his palms.

The little girl tugged on the back of my shorts and I looked down at her. She was putting a lot of strain on my sore neck.

"Where are you going, lady?" she asked. "Papa says not to go outside!"

If Deidara was indeed still in town looking for me, then it probably wasn't a very good idea to go outside. But I couldn't just sit around in some nice stranger's house, waiting for him to leave. I looked back at my face on the newspaper and was about to read my description over when I heard it.

**Boom!**

It took me a minute to realize there was an explosion nearby. It seemed as if the whole house was shaking and debris flew through the windows, spraying glass everywhere. Acting quickly, I grabbed the little girl and ran into the back of her house, where her father was. I closed the door to the room and let her go. She ran over to her father and buried her face in his chest. There was a bed in the room and laying on it was a woman—a pregnant woman.

**Boom!**

What the hell had gotten into Deidara? Was he trying to just _blow _me out of hiding? Well it wouldn't work. The house shook again and there was a huge _**CRASH **_in the front of the house. From what Sasori had told me about Deidara's "stupid idiotic bombs," he had lots of different ones that varied in strength and destructiveness. Some were even strong enough to destroy entire villages. Many times I had heard them argue about their views on art and I still couldn't understand why. I thought art could be anything—whether it last a second or a lifetime, as long as it was beautiful and struck wonder into the hearts of people everywhere. Well, laugh it up all you want, that is my view on art.

By now, the little girl had started to cry and was soaking her dad's shirt in a matter of minutes. The pregnant woman, who I assumed to be the mom, put a hand on her melon-sized stomach and looked around as the house finally stopped shaking.

Deidara really needed to cool it before he ended up killing these nice strangers. Who knows how many nice strangers he had already killed? In my opinion, he was acting like a big baby—he couldn't find what he wanted, so he was taking out his frustrations on these townsfolk. He really needed a smack to the back of the head for this one.

"Hey..."

I jumped at the sound of the man's voice. He was trying to shush his daughter, which didn't prove successful.

"You were in the newspaper!"

"Yeah," I said. "I'm 'missing.'"

It had finally quieted down outside and I took this as a moment to high tail it out of these nice stranger's house. Opening the door as slowly as I could, I turned to the family and said, "Thanks for helping me earlier but I have to go. Stay inside for a while longer. Oh, and congratulations."

Once I was outside, I could see smoke rising from the town. There was burning debris everywhere and I shook my head. Before he could start blowing more things up, I would have to lure him out of this town. I ran through the town, seeing a lot of buildings were blown apart and many people were evacuating to a non-destroyed part of town. Under a pile of rubble nearby was an arm-sticking out at an odd angle. It was a small arm, obviously belonging to a small child. That poor kid. And it was all partially my fault.

A big shadow passed over my head and I looked up—seeing the underside of Deidara's clay bird. It started to descend and I backed up.

He lunged for me, almost falling on his face. I tripped and fell backwards, rolling completely over and landing on my feet again. Thank you, clumsiness.

To the right of me was an alley, which led to another street. I took off down the narrow alleyway, trying my best to move fast with the heavy chain weighing me down.

Deidara was back on his bird again, seeing as he probably couldn't fit through the narrow space. Something flew past my face, slicing my cheek. It was one of _my _kunai knives and I knew it was mine because I carved an 'S' on all of my weapons. Grabbing the kunai, I ducked behind a dumpster and watched him fly overhead. It wouldn't be too long before he discovered my hiding place, so I went to work on trying to cut the collar off. After 5 minutes of constant sawing, the leather collar finally snapped—falling onto the ground. I was free!

I rubbed my sore, stiff neck and tried to make my way out of this town before anyone else got hurt.

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Have. Never. In. History. Have. Ever. Been. This. Winded. In. My. Life.

I had been running for what had seemed like _hours _and my lungs were about to shrivel up and die. My back ached, I was dizzy, and my stomach growled every 5 minutes. Even though I was about to keel over, Deidara continued to chase me on his bird. At least I had made it out of that town. And townsfolk, if you can see this, I am truly sorry for your destroyed city. I shall hit the one responsible over the head repeatedly with his own arm once I tear it off. That's my promise, to you.

Anyway, even through my raspy breaths, I could hear Deidara laughing at me from above. It was like he enjoyed throwing bombs at me, watching me narrowly escape the explosions. Like a cat does to a mouse he was playing around with me, tugging me this way and that, before he devoured his prey! Well...aside from the 'devouring' part, that was exactly what Blond Bombshell was doing up there on his stupid bird.

"When are you going to give up, hm? It's useless to try to escape."

I ignored him and tried to force myself to move faster. My body betrayed me and I felt myself moving slower and slower, until I could hardly move.

"Thought you might slow down, hm."

I could barely hear him over the sound of my heavy breathing. This time, it felt as if I really _was _about to die. No pretending this time. Hopefully that wasn't the case.

Deidara's hand grabbed my shirt and pulled me to his bird. I weakly tried to get his hand off me, but it failed, earning a laugh from him. I couldn't go back to the Akatsuki! I hadn't decided on what I should do yet! I guessed that alone was enough to refuel my will to fight and I started kicking and thrashing, trying to get away. Deidara's grip on me loosened, and I assumed that the _**oof **_I heard was me kicking him in a place where the sun don't shine.

Just as I was about to scramble away, I tripped (again...), giving Deidara a chance to grab me around the waist.

"Stop struggling, Shiori, hm."

"LET ME GO!!!!!!!" Maybe yelling like a banshee would get him to leave me alone. But, I didn't know if I really wanted him to leave me alone. I didn't think I knew anything anymore....

My body couldn't keep up with the strain and I soon went almost totally limp, hanging forward like a rag doll in Deidara's arms. He was a bit more gentle when putting me on his bird, not actually flinging me over it like usual.

"I," I said, my eyes closing. "...Hate you."

"I know."

"I...want you to die."

"It's not nice to wish death on people, hm." That was all I heard before I actually fell asleep, for the first time in what felt like days.

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**Hoped you liked that one! And truthfully, i have no idea what village Shiori is from....even though i made her. So if any of you have a suggestion, please let me know!**


	9. Keep On Dreamin

Chapter Nine: Keep On Dreamin'

I love to sleep. Sleeping is my absolute favorite thing to do. Why? Because when you sleep, you dream. And when you dream, anything can happen. So far, i've had 3 dreams. In the first one, I was back at home and had absolutely no clue who the Akatsuki was. In the second one, me and the twin monsters had climbed up on the roof of our house and jumped, flying through the air by flapping our arms. And finally, in the third one, I had sprouted an extra mouth on my forehead. The last one wasn't exactly a happy one, but all of your dreams aren't meant to be happy and fun.

I woke up to an annoying feeling of someone touching my feet. It felt like they were running something soft, like a feather, up and down the soles of my bare feet. Wait...what happened to my shoes? I _was _wearing shoes, wasn't I? As quickly as I could, I kicked, catching someone right in the face.

"What was that for, hm?!"

I opened my eyes and leaned up, folding my legs under me—pretzel style. Deidara was rubbing his nose, his visible eye squinting at me. We were sitting in a forest (boy, haven't had enough of those), and I was leaning against a tree. Looking up, I could actually see the sky!

"...Where are we?" I asked, rubbing my sore neck.

"Waiting." Deidara folded his arms and tapped his feet impatiently.

"Where are my shoes?!"

He shrugged and continued tapping his foot. Was he serious? I hate walking barefoot outside, I could get a hookworm! "Gimme my shoes, Deidara."

"I don't know where they—"

I jumped up and kneed him right in the stomach. He went **oof **and retaliated punch to the chest. Ouch.

Literally acting like a child who couldn't get that she wanted, I stomped off behind another tree and started pouting—why was I attracted to someone like _him? _That, is the 9th wonder of the world.

As I sat on the hard ground, I put my head on my knees and sighed. I wondered what my family was going through at the moment. All of the crap they were going through was all of my fault. I was to blame for being attracted to a criminal. Everything was my fault, and I felt horrible about it.

And like anyone in this situation, I started to cry. Not little tears, but full on bawling. I've always hated crying in front of people because they would always comment on how I sounded like a dying cat when I did. But that was something I just couldn't help.

I felt Deidara come around the tree and stand over me. I looked up to see his eyebrow raised. He looked as if he had no clue what to do in a situation such as this. It surprised me, seeing as though I figured he would be used to people crying around him—he was a criminal after all. But then again, he probably blew them into oblivion before they could get a tear out or even register what was happening.

Deidara bent down and just stared at me—his eyebrow still raised in what I assumed to be complete and utter confusion.

"...**hic!**"

I put a hand over my mouth—i had the hiccups? Just great. Slowly I looked over at Deidara, who was still staring at me. Okay, enough is enough. No more staring, Deidara!

"**Hic!**"

He kept staring.

"**Hic!**"

Still staring!

"**Hic!**"

Wait for it...wait for it....and he's _still _staring at me!

"W-what are you—**hic! **Staring at?"

"Why do you keep making that noise, hm?"

I stared at him, open-mouthed. He didn't know what hiccups were? What rock did this guy live under? Maybe he needed to spend less time in that underground hideout of his and come out into the world once in a while.

"What noise?" I asked, wiping away my tears. "**Hic!**"

Deidara pointed his black nail polished finger at me. "That noise,hm."

"It's called a—**hic, **hiccup stupid. Caused by spasms in the diaphragm."

What? I read!

He nodded and stood up as someone came running towards us. Judging by how Deidara just stood there with his arms folded, I guessed he knew who the person was.

"Senpaaaiiiiiiii!" yelled the person, waving their arm frantically.

Deidara sighed and nudged me with his foot. "Get up, hm."

"**Hic!**" I stayed in my spot on the ground and rolled my eyes. He looked down at me and I looked back. I wasn't afraid of him, and I hoped he knew it too. Even if he had the power to destroy whole villages and even more, blondie there did not scare me one bit. In a split second I was being picked up and slung over Deidara's shoulders.

"Put me down! **Hic!**" My face got warm and I tried to hide it so he wouldn't see me blushing.

"Oh shut up Shiori, hm."

"You shut up!"

"You're awfully immature for a 17-year old."

I tried my best to fold my arms and said matter-of-factly, "I'm _18._ My birthday was yesterday."

He didn't say anything. Now I was curious to know just how old he was, but I didn't want to ask him directly. I tried a different approach.

"How long have you been living on this earth?"

"Thought you didn't care, hm."

Would he just tell me already? Why did people have to be so difficult? He at least owed me that much after kidnapping me and nearly killing me. Oh, and lets not forget the humiliation of being treated like a puppydog.

"19," he finally said after a few minutes.

19? No, he couldn't be serious. To me, Deidara looked as though he was at least in his twenties. I mean, come on.

"Seriously. **Hic!**" I said, shifting uncomfortably on his shoulder. He couldn't possibly be comfortable holding me up like that. I wasn't some little kid, y'know. After a few long minutes Deidara dropped me. Luckily I caught myself before I slammed my face into the ground.

"I am serious, hm."

"As a heart attack?** Hic!**"

"As a newly destroyed village with incinerated corpses lining the former streets...hm."

Okay, I guess that meant he was serious about him being 19, and all. The person who had been running towards us finally stopped in front of us. It was the swirly man himself, Tobi. He'd better watch it. I just had to see his face and if he wasn't careful, that mask would be ripped off of his head. It was creepy.

Tobi turned his head towards me and screamed, running behind Deidara in a panic.

"What the hell is wrong with you, hm?"

"S-Senpai! Don't you see?! It's the ghost of Shori, the pet that just died!"

I folded my arms and stepped closer to him. He stepped back. "My name is _SHI-_ori. And i'm not a ghost, you idiot."

"So you're a phantom?" he asked.

I shook my head.

"An apparition? A poltergeist? A—"

"SHUT UP!" Deidara roared, a tiny vein popping out on his face.

He looked so cute when he was angry, my heart fluttered in my chest like a thousand butterflies flying over a river of love. Oh god, what was happening to me? Make that the 10th wonder of the world.

After listening to Deidara talked about some plan to capture some kind of 'tailed beast' to Tobi and telling me to be a good pet and not do anything stupid, we started walking. Man, was I ever tired of that.

At least we were moving again and I could work out the kinks in all of my muscles. But seeing as I was the one who was injured, I should've been on Deidara's stupid bird. Not walking through deep forest alongside Tobi, who kept asking me if I was a ghost.

"Senpaaaiiiii," I yelled, imitating Tobi. "I can't walk anymore...**Hic!**"

"Not my problem," he yelled back from overhead.

This was one of the many moments that I wanted to punch him in his pretty little blond head. _He _was the one who kept throwing bombs at me, then laughing once I narrowly escaped the explosion. What did he expect?

I decided to just start annoying him so I could get what I wanted. It was good enough for the twin monsters, it was good enough for me.

Alright, Shiori. Take a deep breath, get ready to annoy the crap out of Deidara.

I inhaled as deep as I could and went, "SENPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T WALK ANYMORE!"

The bird started to descend and I smiled inwardly—told ya it'd work.

Deidara hopped off of his bird and walked over to me, looking down at me. Sure he was taller than me, but not by that much and I thought I had already stressed how I am _not _scared of him. Folding my arms I stared right back at him—come on, I could do this all day.

"Don't you two have some tailed beast to capture? Better get to it. **Hic!**"

The vein in his forehead reappeared and I had to keep myself from laughing. He just made it too easy. I turned around and was about to keep walking when Deidara grabbed my shirt and pulled me backward. The strap broke and hung off my shoulder. Great.

He pulled something long and white from out of his sleeve and tied it around my mouth, using the extra to bind my hands. This was bringing back some pleasant memories.

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"I'm hungry. **Hic!**" My voice echoed through the eerily silent forest as we continued our little "trek." Tobi had so nicely assisted me in taking my gag off earlier and now I wouldn't shut up. Why? Because I was starving and I didn't want to look like a walking skeleton.

"I'm hungry too, senpai."

I nodded and patted Tobi's head. "See, _sen-pai? _Now you have no choice but to get us food."

For the past hour, Deidara hadn't spoken one single word and I guessed he was too irritated to do so. Every time I asked a question, he would either not reply at all, or just go 'hm.' Walking ahead, I tried to get a good look at his face through the dark. His eye was closed and the vein still hadn't disappeared in his head.

Taking out one of my stolen kunai, Deidara threw it with a sharp flick of his wrist. It hit something with a sharp **thunk.**

"There. Now stop bothering me, hm."

Followed by Tobi, I went over to where his (my) kunai had landed and I saw it had caught a white rabbit by the neck. Poor thing.

"Nevermind," I said, removing the kunai from the rabbit's neck.

"You know, I had a dream that you weren't such a pain in the behind. **Hic!**" I folded my arms and stared at the back of Deidara's head.

Tobi laughed. "Yeah, in your dreams Shori. Senpai's always like that."

Yeah. Just keep on dreamin', Shiori. Keep on dreamin.'


	10. Honorary MemberPet

Chapter Ten: Honorary Member...I Mean, Pet

I really missed my family. I missed them so much that it hurt when I thought about it. I missed mom, dad and most of all, the twin monsters. And it wasn't like I could just waltz back home and go on as if nothing had happened. First, I would probably be questioned and all and second, my family would probably go on a manhunt for my kidnapper and get themselves killed in the process. And possibly the biggest problem I was facing at the moment was Deidara. If I would be questioned, I didn't think I could rat them all out like that. My head was spinning and I couldn't take it! What should I do?

Oh god in heaven, would you please help me get through this crap?

Why did I have to start falling for a stupid criminal in the first place? Why did he have to be a criminal? Why did I have so many unanswered questions?

Why why why WHY?

I truly felt like crying. Putting my head down on my knees, I tried to keep the tears from flowing. I pinched my leg. "Don't cry...don't cry...don't—"

"What are you doing, hm?"

I jumped and whirled around, ready to attack someone if I needed to. "Oh," I muttered. "It's you."

"What's that supposed to mean..." Deidara sat next to me on the high tree ledge and I looked the other way. I thought I had climbed high enough to be away from him. Guess not.

The stupid smirk of his appeared on his face and I reached both arms out and pinched his cheeks. "Will you _stop _smirking! Do you not know how to make any other faces?"

Smacking my hands away, Deidara started to rub his now reddening cheeks.

A soft breeze passed by, blowing his hair up and around his face. The sight of it made me want to scream. I reached to touch my own hair—it was wet and when I smelled it, I almost gagged. Then I looked down at myself—i had since removed both of my shirt straps since one was broken, and I really needed a bath. How attractive, right?

"What is art to you, hm?"

Tonight on deep philosophical discussions with Deidara... Art!

"Uh...," I started. "It doesn't matter that much to me...as long as its nice to look at and has feeling and stuff...i guess."

Maybe that was the wrong answer, seeing as Deidara shook his head at me like I was a kid who'd done something bad. My face started to warm up and I turned my head. What was happening to me? The guy I was sitting next to was turning me into a lovestruck little fangirl and it irritated the heck out of me.

"Are you cold?"

I must've been shivering without noticing because as soon as he asked, I felt like I was freezing to death.

Wiggling the toes on my BARE feet, I said, "No i'm not."

"Liar, hm."

"Maybe I wouldn't be such a liar if you hadn't stolen my shoes."

Deidara chuckled and stared ahead. "I told you," he said. "I didn't steal your shoes, hm."

"Then what happened to them?"

"I don't know."

"Liar." If I got a hookworm because of this, I was going to shove my infected foot in his face every chance I got. My hand went to my bruised neck and I started to trace lines on it, only to realize I was no longer wearing a collar. Speaking of collars, I didn't have one anymore! So that meant—

"You're still a pet," Deidara said. "Even though you don't have a collar."

Well, that put a big hole in my thoughts. I guess I was still a pet to these people. Not a human being, a puppydog.

"Anyway..." I changed the subject. "What do _you _think art is?"

I sort of wished I hadn't asked because Deidara went into a detailed rant on what he thought, no what he "knew" art was. I hardly listened to any of it, only looking over when he dug into the bag on his side and pulled out some clay.

The mouth on his palm started chewing the clay, spitting it out once it was done. Deidara then closed his hand, and when he opened it, a clay butterfly was sitting in it. A butterfly? Still cool.

Now I was paying close attention. I had been one of the lucky few without any special abilities or bloodline traits. All I had was my somewhat good stealth and agility and my strength. And that strength i'm sure wouldn't stand a chance to someone like Deidara. It wasn't like I was doubting myself, I just wasn't an idiot. Deidara was basically a long-range fighter and he could fly on his dumb little bird while I was stuck on the ground, narrowly dodging bombs.

In a way, I was a little jealous. Even though his methods were a little brutal, they were effective. And effective was good.

Throwing the butterfly up into the air, Deidara made a hand sign. I watched him, then the butterfly, him then the butterfly.

"...Art," he said as I watched the butterfly flutter around in the air. "...Is a bang."

As if on cue, the butterfly exploded when he said 'bang.' It was like a fireworks display, different bright colors bursting through the air. I hated to say it, but I was mesmerized. When it ended, it was dark again, and I was disappointed. And envious at the same time.

"That was cool I guess," I mumbled.

"Just 'cool?' It was more than just that, hm."

"Whatever you say, Mr. Artist."

My stomach grumbled, no more like roared, sounding incredibly loud in the silence of the night. I groaned and leaned backwards, momentarily forgetting that I was sitting on a tree branch. Oops.

I tumbled head over heels out of the tree—i was much higher than I thought. It's funny how loud a girl can scream when she's about to be flattened like a pancake. Well, the whole forest plus a sleeping Tobi found out. I slammed hard into another thick tree trunk, knocking the wind out of me.

As I tried to breath, my body slid off of the branch and I continued to fall. Down...down...down...down some more until—**wham!**

Well nice people, falling from more than 75 feet onto a confused Tobi is not good for you or the Tobi. So make sure you try to avoid that situation.

I landed on Tobi hard, knocking him to the ground. He yelled in surprise and started to freak out—running around and waving his arms in the air. I rolled onto my back and held my head—which felt like it had exploded. When I tried to stand, I fell back down and curled into a ball, wishing the bombs would stop detonating in my brain. Concussion maybe? I didn't know, i'm not a doctor.

"Shut up Tobi, hm!" I heard Deidara yell. Okay that meant he was back on the ground, not writhing in pain like me.

To make matters worse, Deidara scooped me up like a child and tripped Tobi, who fell with a little **thunk.**

"We're going," he said, still carrying me, much to my distress. But I couldn't worry about that, all I could worry about was my blistering headache.

"You're an idiot, hm."

Yup. I'm a big fat idiot.

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"Ah, my head..."

I woke up in a bathtub, similar to the one I had been in before. When I got up, I caught my reflection in the mirror—I looked a sight. There was also a new addition to my 'kidnapped by criminals' clothing line. I had a white bandage wrapped poorly around my head, red staining one side.

But just where exactly was I? In another inn? Back at the Akatsuki hideout? Whichever it was, standing in the mirror wouldn't answer my question.

I turned the doorknob and pushed the door open, quickly taking in my surroundings. A single bed, a nighttable with a lamp and a telephone, a television, and no window. There was no one else in the room, but as I stepped further into it, I felt as though I was being watched.

Before I could react in any way, someone flew out from behind the door and full body tackled me onto the springy mattress of the bed. It took me a minute to realize it was Deidara who was ontop of me and a wave of red washed over my face.

"W-what are you doing?" I asked, my voice coming out in a tiny squeak.

Deidara said nothing. Instead, he put something around my neck. It clicked once he fastened it. Another collar, great. Deidara got off of me and reached into his cloak, pulling out something wrapped in tan paper.

"Here," he said, throwing it at me.

"What is it?"

"Just open it."

I took that as a 'I don't know' and tore the paper off. To my surprise, it was a thick red and black Akatsuki robe, equipped with clouds and everything!

But why was he giving me this? I wasn't an Akatsuki member...

"_Oh, I get it." _

I had almost forgot. Me, Shiori, the pet of the Akatsuki. They couldn't have me looking like a hobo, could they?

"Leader said he could care less if you wore that, hm. But if you say anything to anyone, I've been assigned to kill you." Deidara smiled and I stuck my tongue out at him. But, wait! He actually smiled!

"Well," he said, the smile vanishing. "Wait here until I get back, hm."

"It's not like I have a choice."

"You're right. Bye."

As he left the room, I went into the bathroom and attempted to wash my filthy clothes in the bathtub. When they got as clean as they could I waited for them to dry, taking a bath in the process.

Once they were all dry and toasty (sort of), I put them on—not wanting to be naked for another second.

The cloak wasn't as long as the other Aka-members, only stopping at my knees. It was however, nice and warm and I sighed in happiness. I could've just fallen asleep right then and there, but I knew it probably would be interrupted.

But...Deidara and Tobi both had some kind of mission to take care of so that bought me some kind of time. First—I needed food! But to get food, you needed money and I had absolutely none. Begging wasn't one of my strong suits, seeing as it never worked when I did. But maybe I could scare someone into giving me food or—

As I opened the door, I bumped right into someone standing over me. Seeing the face I nearly screamed—my father! Accompanied by many other ninja!

He looked relieved and wrapped his arms around me, rocking back and forth.

"I'm so glad I found you," he said.

I stayed silent, not knowing what to say. What should I say, no what _could _I say?


	11. Problem

**Hello All! Thank u so much for the lovely reviews! U guys are so nice and im glad ya like my story that just randomly popped into my head one day.**

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Chapter 11: Problem

'Crap,' was all I could think as my father led me through the halls of the inn. How he had found me, I had no clue. Maybe the owner had tipped him off about me. All of the ninja with my dad were staring at me, perhaps because of my newly acquired cloak.

Outside, the streets were jam packed with people, and I could tell that I wasn't in the same village Deidara had blew up last time. My dad continued to pull me along like a doll, and all I could do was stay silent.

Once again I was stared at strangely by people we passed by. Maybe it was because of the collar and chain hanging around my neck? Or maybe it was the cloak I was wearing that matched a group of notorious criminals?

"We've missed you so much, Shiori," dad said, breaking the silence.

Forcing myself to speak, I replied, "Me too..."

"We'll talk about _that _later, Shiori." He was staring at the cloak i had on. Maybe it would be a good idea to just throw it in a fire somewhere.

We had barely made it out of the village's gates when it happened.

"You never listen do you pet, hm."

Everyone looked up and around, trying to see who had spoken. I didn't need to, I already knew who it was.

Deidara seemed to appear from out of nowhere—in a second he was in front of us, with a smirk plastered to his lips.

My dad's face turned bright red and it was as if he was steaming. Only once had I seen him this mad before (when the twin monsters took every single one of his ninja tools and threw them in the river). "You," he said furiously.

Before I could even blink, Deidara was in front of me. How did he keep doing that?!

The ninja rescue party charged at him at once, and he jumped out of the way, pulling me with him. His bird was already up and ready and he flung me onto it. I slid, almost falling off the edge before Tobi caught my arm. He really was a good boy! But I was more worried about what was happening down below. Maybe I should throw out a few rules for the fight about to take place.

"Hey blondie!" I yelled at Deidara. "No bombs!" The last thing I wanted was for my dad to be a pile of charred remains on the roadside. How was I gonna explain that to everyone?

Doing it just to annoy me i'm sure, Deidara opened his hands to reveal a few bombs shaped like spiders. They were the tiny ones he was throwing at me before so they couldn't do major damage to the forest, but still major damage to people if you were close enough.

"Dad! Move!" I frantically waved my arms in the opposite direction, desperate to get him to get out of danger.

Dad looked up at me. "I'm not leaving without you, Shiori!"

"Forget about me!" I shouted. "Just go or you'll be killed!"

"I'm _not _leaving without you, Shiori."

So stubborn. I bit my lip, praying he would be okay. Deidara hopped onto his bird and the spiders dropped down, down onto the vests of mostly every ninja below. "Don't you do it," I breathed out. Deidara turned to me and smirked, making me blush at the worst possible moment in history.

I tugged on his long hair in frustration, knowing there wasn't anything else I could do. I was hopeless, I couldn't win even if I tried against these people.

We went higher and higher into the air and I was about ready to jump off when Tobi grabbed my chain and held it tight. Darn.

"Deidara, sto—"

"KATSU!!!"

**Boom!**

Chunks of tree bark, dirt and body parts went flying everywhere. To my great luck, something hit my forehead with a heavy _**splat **_before falling into my lap. It was an eyeball. Fantastic.

As I stared at the debris and carnage below me, it took a minute for it to sink into my head:

**My dad was dead.**

And it was all Deidara's fault.

Giving me a pat on the head, Tobi said, "It'll be okay, Shori." Before I could correct him, the tears were already beginning to fall down my cheeks.

"Aww senpai...look what you did." Tobi kept patting my head like I was a—oh wait, I forgot.

Tilting my chin up with his finger, Deidara squinted at me the way he did the last time I cried. My nose ran and I my hiccups reappeared and he began to laugh at me.

"You look like a little kid, hm."

I had the sudden urge to strangle him right then and there, and also to forgive him for what he did. God, I'm so stupid. My father was just killed and all I could do was sit there and cry, right in font of his killer. When Deidara turned around, I snaked my fingers around his neck and started squeezing. The muscles in his neck prevented me from doing anything major, and he retaliated by tugging my chain. I refused to let go of his neck and for a while we were both choking each other, waiting to see who would cave first. When my eyes felt like they were going to pop out, I let go of Deidara's neck and he let go of the collar.

"**Hic!"**

We flew back into the city and I was dropped right in front of the inn I was in earlier. Looking up, I beckoned him to come closer with my finger. The bird got lower to the ground, despite the looks and whispers from around us.

"Gimme some—**hic **money."

"What for, hm?"

"I'm starving!" I yelled, stomping my foot. I was biting my lip, trying not to burst out crying in front of all of these people. After giving me one long stare, Deidara held his hand out towards Tobi.

"But senpai—" Tobi started. Deidara squinted his eye the way he did when he "tried" to look scary and Tobi dropped money into his outstretched palm.

What a bully.

Deidara threw the money to me and I gasped—did they carry this much money all the time?

"**Hic! **I'll pay you back," I yelled up to Tobi. He nodded and I wondered what his expression behind the mask was.

In a split second, the bird was up and away over the village, leaving me behind with tons of people staring at me. They were muttering and pointing and I hoped they had no clue who the Akatsuki were. If they did, I was screwed.

As I made my way to the nearest restaurant, I shoved the fact that my dad was just killed to the back of my mind. And there it would always stay, so I wouldn't go into an all out bawl fest out of nowhere.

I've never been able to express my feelings well, not even when my own friends and family died. It's not like I didn't care, but...

"Excuse me miss, what'll ya have?"

I had been so caught up with my thoughts that I hadn't noticed I was right in front of a street vendor selling takoyaki and a bunch of other food, such as chicken and beef on skewers.

I ordered just about 2 of everything the old man was selling and waited patiently as he took forever in preparing it all.

When he finally finished, he put it all in a giant paper bag and handed it to me. Dropping the money on the counter, I made my way back to the inn so I could dig right in to my treasure.

If you have never eaten takoyaki, then I suggest you should. Sure, it might be octopus chunks dropped into batter and fried, but it tasted absolutely amazing. Once I had attempted to make some and failed horribly, making me throw up for days. Quick lesson: if you hadn't ever cooked before, don't pick takoyaki as your first meal.

When I finished everything, my stomach felt like it was going to burst. Now _that's _how you eat, people! Falling asleep I know is not the best thing to do once you've eatena ton of food but I couldn't help it (and I had already lost so much weight)—my eyes closed and I drifted off to a peaceful sleep.

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Here, in no particular order, is a list of things I never want to wake up to:

1. A room full of cockroaches

2. Finding that it's the end of the world

into the kitchen finding NO MORE COOKIES! (nooo)

4. My mom going into labor (not again)

5. A swirly orange mask

"Waugh!" I pushed Tobi out of my face and stood up, looking around wildly. Tobi got up off the floor and said, "I was trying to make sure you weren't dead again, Shori."

I sighed. "It's _SHI-ori, _Tobi. Not Shori."

"Okey-dokey, Shori!"

This guy was hopeless. Looking around, I didn't see Deidara at all. It's not like I _wanted _him around. Or maybe I did, I didn't know.

"Where's...uh Deidara?" I asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Reporting back, see?"

Tobi opened the bathroom door and Deidara was standing there, not moving at all. He was holding up a hand sign so I guessed he was under some sort of jutsu. Tobi closed the door again.

When he was done "reporting back" or whatever, Deidara came out of the bathroom and sat on the squishy mattress, rubbing his temple. It was awkward and I was beginning to feel a little uncomfortable just sitting next to him. His knee touched mine just a tiny bit and I jumped—earning looks from Deidara and Tobi (even though sometimes I couldn't tell with him).

Deciding to hurry up and change the subject, I turned my attention to something else.

"...uh, Do you wear eyeliner?" I asked to the air. Of course, there was no way that I could be talking to Tobi because, y'know he had a mask on. And using process of elimination, I'm sure you could come up with the answer. If you still don't know, then I suggest you stop and think about it right now.

…...................You done? Alright, let's get back to it.

Deidara looked at me and then closed his eye. "No."

I wanted to point and scream "LIAR!" right in his face, but I didn't think it would be appropriate at the moment.

We sat in complete silence until Deidara stood up and said, "We're going, hm."

I got up followed like an obedient little puppy (ugh...) with Tobi behind me. At this rate I might as well wear fake ears and a tail...I shuddered just thinking about it.


	12. Fugutaiten

**SOrry for the long wait! without further ado, here's number 12~**

* * *

Chapter 12: Fugutaiten

"How old are you, Shori?"

"18."

"Wow, that's one year younger than senpai!"

"Oh really..."

"What color is your hair?"

"...Dark blue."

"What's your favorite food?"

"Takoyaki."

"What's your best skill?"

"I can remember anything."

"Really? What'd we just pass by?"

"...932 trees, 87 boulders and a lake."

"WOW! Didya hear that, senpai? Shori, who do you live with?"

"...My mom, my twin monsters and—" I peered over at Deidara, who boredly looked back at me, arms folded. "—oh wait, nevermind."

We were all on Deidara's giant clay bird flying to where I assumed to be the Akatsuki's hideout. It felt like we had been flying for _hours _and Tobi would not stop asking me questions. It also didn't help that a certain someone else wouldn't stop staring at me. Me staring at him was okay, but when he stared at me it wasn't.

He continued to look at me as I had a mental freak out. Why was he looking at me? Did I have something on my face?

Deidara smirked, making a little "hn" noise and turning his head somewhere else. I put the insanely long sleeve over my face, trying to hide my reddening cheeks. Maybe it was the way the ends of his mouth curled up when he smirked that got to me. I loved it and hated it at the same time.

Once we were back inside the hideout, I didn't know what to do or where to go. Deidara wasn't yanking my chain like he usually did, so for some reason I had no sense of direction. There was no one on the couch and no sound to be heard. Either nobody was here or they were all in their rooms.

Once again to my dismay I followed him like a puppydog, the chain around my neck dragging on the floor heavily.

He closed his door in my face and I stared at it with my mouth hanging open. How rude!

Fine, if he didn't want to let me in, I would make him let me in! So I bent down and started scratching at the wooden door. "Let me in," I whined. Sure, it's immature but one thing's for sure—I didn't want Hidan to find me.

The door opened a crack and all I saw was a blue eye ("no eyeliner" sure...). I tried to push my way in, but that didn't work. So I resorted to whining again.

"Let me in..."

"Why."

"Because I d—just let me in!" I tried again, pushing the door with all the strength I had at the moment. The door flew open and I fell forward, knocking Deidara down. Being that close to someone couldn't possibly end well so I tried to get off of him as quickly as I could. The only bad thing was that my body wouldn't move. ½ of my brain screamed, "Get off of him now! Red alert! Red alert!" and the other ½ screamed, "I don't know what you should do!" So that pretty much meant that I had to choose.

I tried to lean up, using my hands, but the long sleeves betrayed me. It doesn't matter how I did it, but somehow I stepped on the fabric of the sleeves and fell again. Whoops. Call me graceful, huh?

**Smack!**

My mouth smashed into Deidara's and I inwardly punched myself. How cliche´ was that? Some girl magically trips and then falls right into a guy and they accidentally kiss. Wow, that hadn't happened before. Truthfully, I didn't think that kind of stuff happened in real life, only in comic books that Ami read.

I leaned up and looked him straight in the eye. He was looking at me thoughtfully, but then even that turned into a smirk. I felt like going 'eeek!' but I didn't. Of course not. That would be out of character for me.

My stupid brain started malfunctioning and I began getting thoughts like:

**KISSHIMKISSHIMKISSHIMKISSHIMKISSHIMKISSHIMKISSHIMYOUKNOWYOUWANNA!!!**

Those thoughts sounded absolutely absurd seeing as I had never ever kissed anyone before. Not in all of my 18 years. So when we started kissing I thought, _'Wow this is easy,' _despite the fact that deep down I was freaking the hell out. Isn't life confusing?

He placed his hand on the back of my neck and it felt damp and clammy—courtesy of the mouth I suppose. I shrugged his hand off my neck and pulled away after what seemed like ages.

"What's the matter,hm?" Deidara asked, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Uh...uh...uh...I..." I just couldn't form the words, but what I wanted to say was, "HOLY CRAP ON A WHOLE-WHEAT CRACKER!"

"No fair, senpai!"

I yelped in surprise and turned around to find Tobi standing in the doorway with his arms folded and his foot tapping.

"I like Shori, too."

Deidara stood up and stretched before pushing Tobi out of the room and while I had the chance, I dove into the hallway with him. Once there, I made my way into the living room where I hid behind the couch.

Tobi crouched behind the couch too and asked, "Are you okay, Shori? You want me to go teach senpai a lesson?"

"No...," I muttered. "I'm okay. Thanks."

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Well turns out I wasn't okay and the rest of the night only got more and more awkward. Rather than following Deidara around like I usually did, I stayed around Tobi, a.k.a the "good boy."

Anyway, I was kicking his butt at a game of go fish when I was suddenly jerked backwards, hitting my noggin on the floor. I had to bite my tongue to prevent from cussing like a sailor.

"Thought you were dead," Hidan said with a evil grin.

I rubbed the back of my sore head and glared up at him. Did he have to be that rough? "Yeah, i'm not." I turned back to Tobi and continued playing go fish.

After I had beat him, I had suddenly become so exhausted that I curled up right on the cold hard floor.

"But Shori—" Tobi started.

I looked up at him through my half closed lids. I was so tired of him mispronouncing my name that I resorted to something else.

"Tobi," I said. "Call me senpai, alright?"

He clapped his hands together happily. "Now I have two senpais!"

Now that that was settled, I put my head down and sighed—man had this been a tiring day. Everything that had happened swirled around in my head like a big pot of mystery stew. There was a particular thought that kept bouncing against my eyeballs, desperately wanting to burst out. And that was my makeout session with Deidara earlier. My face grew warm just thinking about it and I groaned. What was happening to me?

The room slowly got darker and I looked up, seeing Hidan flick the switch off as he left the room. He looked back once at me. "Wanna stay in my room, kitty cat?"

It probably would be better than lying on a cold hard floor, but then again, I didn't want to be alone in Hidan's room. If I did, I would have to lay down some rules.

"No touching me," I said plainly, walking past him. I passed Deidara in the hall and I quickly averted my eyes from his, but that didn't stop him from grabbing my chain and pulling me into his room. Despite Hidan's loud profane yells of protest, Deidara shut the door before saying, "You can have her tomorrow, hm."

I tried not to think about earlier but I couldn't not think about it, y'know? The image of Deidara's lips pressed against mine wouldn't get out of my head and I wished I would've hit it harder earlier so I could forget.

Moving as quickly as I could, I went over to the corner by the door and curled up there, using the long thick sleeves of the cloak as a pillow. Deidara stood over me, not saying anything at all.

"Go away," I swatted at him. "I'm sleepy."

Closing my eyes, I tried my best to sleep, despite the man standing over me. Apparently deciding I was asleep after 10 minutes, Deidara bent down and brushed my hair behind my ear like he did before. Then he traced one finger up and down my face. Truthfully, it felt kind of nice, but i'd never admit that. I started feeling more and more relaxed and before I knew it, I had fallen asleep.

I woke up many more hours later still on the cold floor of Deidara's bedroom. Rubbing my eyes and looking around, I saw Deidara tangled up in his sheets still asleep. I got up and stood over his bed, noticing something odd. He wasn't by himself...there was another body tangled up with him.

It took me a minute, but when I finally woke up all the way, I stared at the scene before me with my mouth hanging open.

Where'd that brown haired floozy come from?! She wasn't there when I had went to sleep...was she?

Clenching my fists, I stomped into the hallway in a huff. How dare he just pick up some whore while I was in the same room? Did he not have any shame? And most importantly—where did she come from?!!

In the living room I sat on the couch, my arms still folded. Was it healthy to want to strangle someone this badly? I didn't think so.

I had been sitting on the couch for quite a while when a certain word started to pop in my head—**FUGUTAITEN.**

For all of you who don't know what fugutaiten means, let me tell you:

**The feeling of hatred so great, **

**that you don't even want to let **

**the person live.**

See? That's what I was feeling at the exact moment. The longer I sat there, the more I became a feral, snarling beast.

Movement caught my eye and I turned my head towards the doorway leading to the hall. Another woman, this one had black hair, and Hidan were kissing so fiercely that I thought they were going to suck each others faces off. I watched in disgust as they moved down the hall and into a room, shutting the door. Had they just came back from a brothel or something? Did they even still have those? Where were these women coming from?

As I thought these things over, Tobi came into the living room and hopped on the couch next to me. "Good afternoon, Shori senpai!"

Good afternoon? How long was I asleep? Trying not to growl at Tobi, I turned my head and asked, "Where did those women come from?" My eye twitched and I gripped the sides of the cloak I had on.

"Oh those women are here 'cuz some of the members needed to uh....'relieve some stress' is what Deidara senpai called it."

"O....kay..." I was still trying not to break out snarling but it was getting harder to do that.

"Don't worry, they won't get killed or anything. They'll get their memory wiped and all."

Them getting killed wasn't my issue. The bimbo in there snuggled up with Deidara was lucky that all she was getting was a memory wipe. "Tobi," I said.

"Yep?"

"Name me everyone who's here right now."

Tobi looked up, counting on his fingers. "uh...Deidara-senpai, you, Hidan, and Zetsu...and me!"

So the hideout was relatively empty, which made it easier to dispose of a body....

Someone came stumbling into the kitchen, interrupting my fugutaiten-like thoughts. It was Deidara and he wasn't alone—basically attached to him, was the brown haired floozy from earlier. She was using his sheets to cover herself and I wanted to scream.

I gripped the back of the couch and stared daggers at them. The woman caught me glaring at her and she turned her nose up at me. How dare she turn her nose up at me?! Who did she think she was? Did she want to be strangled to death? I had a chain, it could happen.

Shifting my eyes over to Deidara, I noticed lipstick marks all over his face.

Okay, that was it. That woman had to die. Now.

Sensing my apparent bloodlust, Tobi grabbed the chain attached to my neck and held it tight as I ran around the couch. Reaching the end of it, I was yanked backwards and slammed onto the floor.

I could hear the bimbo's laughter from where I was on the floor and I seethed. But I didn't let a wound to my pride get in the way of what I was trying to do. With Tobi tugging on the end of the chain, I went all out 'beast' mode—snarling and growling as I desperately tried to reach the woman. If only I could get my hands around her neck...

"Shori senpai, stop!" yelled Tobi as he desperately tried to pull me back.

The woman hid behind Deidara, who was looking at me with an amused expression on his face. That bastard! Was he doing all this on purpose just to annoy me? Well, even though I hated to admit it, it was working.

Deidara bent down and whispered something in the woman's ear. She started giggling and walked/skipped back to his room. Looking from him to the doorway of the kitchen, I deliberated on whether or not to attack her while she was alone or just stay here.

He bent down and put one finger under my chin, tilting it up. "What's the matter, Shiori, hm?"

All that came out of my mouth was angry shriek. Fugutaiten has a way of preventing you from being able to form words.

Finally, I remembered how to talk. "Who. Is. She?!" I yelled in his face.

Deidara shrugged and that made me want to pound his face in. He didn't know who she was?!!! What the hell?!

"What d'you mean you don't know?!" my voice was several octives higher than it usually was and I guessed I was really mad.

"Make her leave before I strangle her!"

And whaddya know, he returned to his room, locked the door and didn't come out for a long time.


	13. Panic

Chapter 13: Panic

Being the perfectly mature 18-year old I was, I stayed huddled up in a corner with my head down for the rest of the day. I didn't even budge when Hidan and Kisame thought it would be funny to throw popcorn at my head. I stayed still as a statue, daring anyone to come in a five foot radius of me.

The floozies from earlier had since had their memories wiped and were somewhere stumbling around above ground away from the hideout. I was glad they were gone, but still fuming at blondie while sitting in the now pitch black living room. Fugutaiten hadn't yet dissipated from my thoughts, meaning I hadn't yet cooled down.

Something softly touched my back an I whirled around, snarling, ready to rip off someones head. I told Tobi to tell everyone not to bother me, but he neglected to tell the one person it was intended to the most—Deidara.

I faced the wall again but Deidara put his hand on my shoulder and spun me around. "Don't touch me!" I yelled, smacking his hand away. In the dark room, all I could see was his eye.

Deidara grabbed both my wrists and pinned them against the wall behind me.

"Shiori," he said, his mouth right next to my ear. "Your time is up, hm."

My time was up? What did that mean?

Wait.

Did that mean that I was no longer needed and I was to be killed? There was no way that that could happen!

"C'mon, hm."

I didn't budge as Deidara pulled on the long chain as hard as he could. Giving up, he grabbed me around the waist and carried me outside and above ground. Either he was carrying me to my death or not. All I could do was wait and see.

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I opened my eyes as Deidara dropped me off of his clay bird. It was pouring down rain and I was freezing—I no longer had the cloak on. Once I set my feet on the ground, I looked up at him questioningly. Wasn't he about to blow me into oblivion? Why was I back in my village?

"Dei—" I started. He held one finger up to silence me and I shut up.

"Just to be safe, I'm leaving that collar on, hm. Talk—"

"—and I die," I finished. I knew it. So he wasn't killing me. That was good. But, I wasn't with the Akatsuki anymore and that was bad, right? I think.

"See ya Shiori, hm."

And with that, he was gone. Flying over the village and back towards the direction from which we just came. Even though he was a criminal, and even though he killed my father, and even though he always irritated the crap out of me...I couldn't help sinking to my knees in the pouring rain and freezing cold and staring at the sky, hoping he would come back.

See? I told you I was stupid. Or maybe i'm not. You tell me.

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"Oh my poor baby! I'm so so so so glad you're safe!!"

Mom planted kiss after kiss on my cheeks, squeezing the life out of me with her hugs. She had rushed outside to find me soaking wet on the doorstep and couldn't stop crying. The twin monsters wouldn't come near me, they just stared at me from the door.

Mom stopped hugging me and stepped back, wiping tears from her eyes as I stood there, staring into space.

"I'm...going to take a bath." I slowly walked past her and into the hallway, where Ami and Ichiru watched me with a terrified look on their faces.

"Hello to you too," I muttered as they started to cry. I figured they would cry. They always cry.

Once I was in the bathroom I turned on the hot water and waited until it filled the tub. Then I took off the clothes I had been wearing and stuffed them in the trashcan. Why should I care that I was no longer the Akatsuki's pet? I should be happy that I wasn't treated like an animal anymore, right? Yeah! Good riddance!

After soaking in the bathtub until my fingers and toes were wrinkly, I put on a top and sweatpants before flopping down on my bed.

Mom peeked inside my room and stood there, watching me. As did the twin monsters.

"..'Ori?" said Ichiru's voice. It sounded strange and different.

"Yes?" My voice sounded even more strange.

"I'm glad you're back.." He came over and kissed me on the cheek and I didn't do anything but stare at him as he left.

I cut the light off as a loud **boom **sounded through my room. Jumping up and looking around, my shoulders slumped forward once I realized it was only thunder. What was my issue?

All I could think about as I lay in my soft bed was the Akatsuki. It felt weird not being in that cold drafty hideout...and I felt a strange emptiness without it. Even though it was only about 9 pm, it felt like it had been years since i'd been there last. I hated being with the Akatsuki, but then again I loved it. They were funny, especially when they argued. Hidan and Kisame's arguments were the best. Then there was Tobi. He was a joy to be around most of the time when he wasn't asking me hundreds of questions. And then.....Deidara. Just thinking of his name made butterflies form in my stomach. Why couldn't I stop thinking about him—his soft long hair, the way the corner of his mouth curled up when he smirked, his speech impediment...everything.

Another loud clap of thunder sounded through the house, and I began to have a weird panicked feeling. I had no clue why, but I started to scream and shriek, digging my nails into my pillow so hard it ripped.

_He _had done this to me. _He _caused me to fall for him. _He _was the reason I was screaming and panicking in my bed because I wanted him next to me.

My room door burst open and mom ran in, bending down next to my bed.

"What's wrong, Shiori?!" she yelled in a panic.

I yelled again as tears started to fall down my face. Mom looked absolutely panicked and ran out of the room.

Mom came back in, holding dad's hand—wait WHAT? Dad?! Dad couldn't be here! Deidara had blew him up!

I closed my eyes and opened them again. It was definitely dad and a big wave of relief washed over me. So Deidara didn't kill my father...but dad now had a huge burn going up his arm.

"What is it, Shiori?! What's wrong?! Did those monsters do something to you?"

Yes, is what I wanted to say. They had made me like them, and one had made me love him, possibly. And the feeling was horrible.

The poor defenseless pillow I was clutching continued to rip until I had tore it completely apart, spraying its cottoney insides all over the place.

Dad looked absolutely vicious and I thought I knew why—he had come to rescue me and I had went along with the man who had tried to blow him up. But dad couldn't have known my reasons so he would have to shove it and not make assumptions.

My attack seemed to pass and I calmed down, rolling over onto my side. Mom rubbed my damp forehead and shushed me like I was a baby again while dad stood at the door, arms folded. I knew what he was thinking. And I could care less. It wasn't my fault that I felt better when I was with the Akatsuki...or was it? Whatever the reason was, I knew I would be having more of these panic attacks. And that wasn't good.

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"Happy belated birthday, Shiori!"

I yawned noisily and stared at the scene in front of me. Mom, the twin monsters, and my best friend Yomi(ko) were standing around a big cake with an '18' across it in frosting.

Truthfully, I wasn't in the mood for a party, or whatever this was, and all I wanted to do was stay in bed and sulk. And that's what I was gonna do.

Mom pulled me towards the cake and gave me a hug, followed by the twin monsters and Yomi, who was crying.

"Oh man oh man oh man oh man, Shiori!" She hopped up and down. "I was so worried when they said you were missing! And that you were kidnapped by the uh...Akatsuki! Oh man oh man oh—"

I gave her a 'shut up' look and she stopped talking almost instantly. After declining the whole cake thing, I went back to my room, followed by Yomi.

Yomi was shorter than me and had shoulder length dark brown hair. I had known her since I first became a ninja and we had been best friends ever since. Yomi sat on my bed and crossed her legs, staring at me with one eyebrow raised. "So," she said. "Tell me about being a damsel in distress!"

A damsel in distress? I wouldn't really use that word to describe myself, but sure whatever. I was too busy thinking about the Akatsuki and my little episode last night to care one way or the other.

"Well, Shiori? C'mon...you can tell your best friend..."

No, Yomi. I couldn't tell anybody about my being in distress or whatever. No one but me, myself and I.

Yomi gasped and stood up, putting her hands on my shoulders.

"Oh no Shiori! Don't cry!"

I was surprised as big tears rolled down my cheeks and onto my pajama top. I had been doing things without realizing it for a long time now and it was beginning to worry me. Maybe my brain was out of whack.

Tilting her head the way she always did, Yomi asked, "Is it a guy?" She always somehow knew what I was feeling and I hated it. Or perhaps I was that easy to read. I sat down on my bed and out my head in my hands.

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Ohmigod!" Yomi shrieked. "You've never shown interests in boys! Tell me tell me tell me NOW!"

"I can't....everyone will hate me. I'm a traitor."

Maybe getting everything off of my chest was what I needed and hopefully I could trust Yomi not to open her big mouth. So I prepared for the barrage of questions I was about to be hit with.

"What's his name?"

"I'm not telling..."

"What's he look like?"

"Taller than me, long hair, speech impediment—" I stopped myself before I could reveal his little 'more than one mouth' thing.

"And...I can't see him anymore," my voice came out in a tiny squeak.

"Why not?"

"Because," I paused. "He's a criminal."

This only seemed to excite Yomi more. She clapped her hands together and bounced up and down on my messy bed. "Oooo!" she squealed. "A bad boy! I'm sooo jealous, Shiori! What's he do?"

"He's an S-ranked missing-nin." I bit my lip, waiting for a reaction. I knew she wouldn't be all excited anymore for her brother was killed by an S-ranked missing-nin. But I couldn't remember who. She stared at me for what seemed like forever before finally speaking.

"What?! He's one off those kinda criminals?!"

Uh-oh.

Yomi put her hands on my shoulders and shook, yelling, "You can't! It's too dangerous!"

She kept shaking me until I just couldn't take it anymore.

"But I love him!" I yelled back in her face. My voice had gotten high and I was beginning to feel panicky again. I pushed Yomi out of my room and grabbed ahold of one of my unbroken pillows and bit into it, trying not to scream. Well, turns out the pillow doesn't work when you're freaking out. It's really useless, especially when it's laying in pieces around the room and you're lying on the floor crying and screaming your lungs out.


	14. The Boy Is Back In Town

Chapter 14: The _Boy_ Is Back In Town

Apparently my little 'freak-outs' had been worrying my parents and they wondered if I had been affected mentally...out loud.

"It's all that blond haired ones fault," my dad said with pure hate dripping off of his voice.

"The one who took her away?" asked my mom, who was looking around like he would come bursting through the ceiling. I could only hope.

"Yes, him. He totally wiped out everyone but me with bombs. _And _he was carting her around with a dog collar and a leash."

Mom gasped. "He put a dog collar on my baby!? Is that what that is now around her neck?!"

Interrupting their conversation, I walked past and sat in front of the big window in our living room. Out of habit for the past two days I stared out of it, not moving at all. I could feel my parents' eyes on me and I didn't care.

"Shiori?" Mom came behind me and put her hand on my shoulder. "What are you looking for?"

She was talking to me as if I couldn't understand or comprehend basic human speech. Thanks for the insult, mom.

"I'm looking for him," I whispered. What the heck was my problem? Had I gone insane? Who knew love would have you acting like this? Stupid Deidara. This whole fiasco was all his fault. Oh yeah, don't forget the panic attacks.

Life sure is great, huh?

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After eating somewhat of a huge dinner I slunk off to bed, feeling bitter and irritable. I didn't want to look or speak to anyone—not even the twin monsters. And they were the ones who were talking to me the most. There was another thunderstorm and I knew that I would be having another nervous breakdown or whatever that was. Bracing myself for it, I wrapped myself in my bedsheets, folding my hands tightly at my side so no more pillows would have to die.

**Boom.**

Just thunder, no need to get my hopes up about that. I stared at the ceiling, desperately wanting to hurt something. Whether it be a pillow or a person, both worked for me.

There was another boom and a flash of lightning so close, it lit up my room. And out the corner of my eye I saw something. Looking over to the corner by my door, all I saw was darkness. But I knew I had seen something.

There was another flash of lightning but nothing was there. I put my head back on my pillow and sighed—maybe I was going insane.

**Boom**

It was that dreadful awful clap of thunder that sent me into another frenzy. I had to grab onto something, but I couldn't. My hands were so clammy nothing would stay in them too long. Before I knew it, I was shrieking and screaming again, desperately reaching out for something. Anything.

My door creaked open and I could hear footsteps getting closer and closer to my bed, but I couldn't see anyone. It was probably just my mom again. She had been checking on me every night since I had my first attack and wouldn't leave me be. That's a mom for you.

A hand brushed my bangs out of my face as I kept screaming. Sure, it made me less hot, but it wasn't really helping. The same hand then brushed their fingers up and down my face and I calmed down a bit. It felt so familiar...

"Good...you shut up, hm."

At that moment my brain shut off. Was that a 'hm' I heard?! No, it couldn't be....it was impossible!

I opened my eyes and reached out, putting my hand ontop of the hand that was on my face. Feeling a little flick on my palm, I just about fainted right then and there. Besides, I was almost unconscious anyway.

I was so exhausted and hot that I hardly noticed the kiss planted on my damp forehead.

The sound of footsteps padding across the hallway floor got louder and louder until the twin monsters came peeking into my room.

"'Ori?" said Ichiru, who was starting to come in. I looked up at Deidara, who had mysteriously disappeared. Maybe he wasn't really there and I was starting to go insane at the tender age of 18.

Ami and Ichiru came over to my bed and put their small hands on mine.

"Were you having another episode?" Ami asked.

I nodded and put one hand on my forehead, wiping some of the sweat off.

"It's..."

"...Okay big sister."

Trying my best to smile, I said, "Thanks."

The twin monsters stared at me for a while longer before leaving my room. Once I heard their doors close, I sighed. Now I could try to get some sleep.

"Do they always finish each others sentences, hm?"

A tiny 'eep!' escaped my throat and I turned my head sharply, wincing. Ah whiplash, welcome back. Deidara was sitting at the foot of my bed, his legs crossed.

"Are you real?" I asked through heavy breaths. Man, it was hot in here. I leaned up, expecting him to disappear again. He stayed in his spot, looking at me with one eyebrow raised.

"Yes i'm real, hm." I figured he would call me an idiot again or something judging by the look on his face. Hey, it was his fault that I was going through this crap in the first place. But I was so happy to see Deidara I almost completely forgot about the whole "bimbo in his bed" thing. Almost.

"Anyway," he said, standing up. "Go back to sleep, hm."

I shook my head furiously from side to side as Deidara sat in front of me, putting one hand on the side of my clammy cheek. There was no way I could go to sleep now. This time would be used for me to ask him about that little incident a few days ago. Or was it a few weeks ago?

"Who was that woman in your bed that day?"

"I told you already. I don't know, hm."

"So you guys just pick up random women when you want some 'fun'?"

He nodded, smiling. The room temperature seemed to rise about a few hundred degrees and I fanned myself. Apparently Deidara didn't notice my being flustered, because he rubbed my cheek with his thumb.

"You're pale, hm."

"It's your fault," I snapped back. Boy was I glad that the old Shiori was back and had replaced the bordering psychotic Shiori. Before he could ask how it was his fault, I continued. "It's all your fault, Deidara. For being a punk and just leaving me in the rain like that."

"You didn't want to go home?"

"I don't know what I wanted..."

"I see. Tell me," his hand left my cheek and I frowned. "What's up with the little freak out you were having, hm?"

My cheeks started to warm up and I tried to cover my face but Deidara grabbed my hands and put his forehead on mine. The metal of his headband felt cool against my skin, like ice. "Was it because you missed-me, hm?"

Right on the mark! And your prize is—nothing.

No sound came out of my mouth. I was too distracted by him being so close to me and how nice he smelled. This guy had me crazy for him and for that, I hated him. I leaned back onto my headboard, feeling dizzy. The heat was really getting to me. Blondie exhaled and closed his visible eye, looking as if he was going to fall asleep. I moved aside and he lost his balance, falling onto my non-shredded pillow. "You sweat a lot, hm."

"Once again, your fault."

"All 'cuz you missed me."

"You're an idiot."

"That's my line, hm."

I was happy that we were back on arguing terms like before, even if I felt a little faint and all. Deidara leaned up and stared at me for a while.

Fidgeting nervously, I turned my head to my open door. Was it always open? I do believe the twin monsters had closed it when they left.

The door creaked open some more and mom came in, a worried expression on her face. I turned towards Deidara, finding that he had disappeared again. How did he keep doing that?

"Is there someone in here with you, Shiori?"

"uh..." How was I going to explain? Mom already thought that I had gone loopy and this just added to the lists of reasons why. Her eyes traveled over my head to something moving behind me. Either Deidara was back or there was a ghost in my room. I went with the less scary choice and turned around. There in all his blond haired glory was Deidara, sitting with his back against the wall. His cloak wasn't on and his hair was let down all the way. I did appreciate the change, but not the fact that his shoes were on in my bed.

"It's you," mom breathed out, covering her mouth with her hand.

Smiling, Deidara put up one hand and said, "Hi, hm."

Oh, the incredible hotness of it all! But the fact that my mom was about to have a heart attack sort of took away from the moment. Before she could scream my dad's name, I jumped up and wobbled over to her, covering her mouth.

"Mom, shhh! It's not what you think! You're asleep, remember?" I stared at her long and hard. Her expression softened and she smiled.

"Oh that's right..."

"Go back to your bed, mom." I could hear Deidara snickering behind me. Mom had been falling for that same trick for as long as I could remember and it could never fail if you did it right.

As mom turned and left my room, I closed the door and locked it.

"I see where you got your idiocy from, hm."

"Shut up, stupid!" I folded my arms.

After standing defiantly by the door for 5 minutes, Deidara beckoned me to come closer with his hands. It took every ounce of my being not to run right over there, but I had more self control than that. So when he narrowed his eyes and said, "Come here,hm." I _walked _over to my bed and sat down, leaning my head up against the headboard.

"Get your shoes off my bed," I said quietly.

"Since when do you give me orders, pet."

So I was denounced 'pet' again. As long as I was 'pet,' he was 'blondie.' And that was that. Trying not to look like I had a nervous breakdown just an hour earlier, I looked at the ceiling with my arms still folded.

My bed _**creaked **_and I tried to keep a straight face as I felt Deidara's hair tickle my face.

'_Ignore him Shiori, he's trying to get to you.'_

"You're too close." My voice was a few octaves higher.

His forehead touched mine again and I smiled at how the cool headband felt. All I could focus on was the cold headband against my warm forehead, not the fact that Deidara was brushing my hair back behind my ears, and not that his lips were centimeters away from mine.

My brain crashed and I wanted nothing more than to just run away screaming into the night. But before I could get up and go, his clammy mouth hand was on the back of my neck, while the other was wrapped around my waist. What had I gotten myself into? But there was something I wanted to ask. I wondered if he actually liked me? Sure I found that I like him, but did he have feelings for me or was I like the brown haired bimbo?

"Deidara.." I pushed his face back a few inches. "Do you...like me?"

He leaned in closer and said in my ear, "I don't know, hm."

Was that good? Or was it bad?

"Why? Do you like me, hm?"

Blushing, I turned my attention to the window. "I don't know...Maybe."

There, he knew. It was out in the open. I fell for a criminal. And the criminal knew it.

Deidara looked at me with his eyebrow raised and his hand on his chin. He looked like he had heard it all before. I bet he did, seeing as he picked up floozies when he was bored. I could only imagine what they told him. Probably something like:

"_Oh Deidara, I luuuvvv you."_

or

"_You're the only one for me."_

and blah blah blah!

He stared blankly at me.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Nevermind. I'm going to bed."

Closing my eyes and folding my arms, I put my head down on my pillow, laying motionless and awake. I stayed awake until a hand started to run their fingers though my hair and I wrapped my arms around them possessively, not wanting to let go. How come I the only thoughts going through my head were, '_You're an idiot, Shiori! An idiot! A dunce! A fool! A retard! A loony toon! A crazy girl!' _But my question was, were they right?


	15. Intruder Alert!

**Man oh man thx for all ur reviews people! Keep em comin!**

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Chapter 15-Intruder Alert!

"Mom...dad...twin monsters, I have something to tell you."

I was standing in the living room and all eyes were on me. It had been about a week since i'd seen you-know-who and luckily, I wasn't having anymore psychotic episodes. "What is it, honey?" Mom asked as she tried to get gum out of Ami's hair. Ami pulled away from mom and hid behind my legs, her hair sticking up on the left side of her head with a big pink wad in it. Handing me a comb and a pair of scissors, mom gave me the nice task of removing Ami's gum-hair.

I cleared my throat and tapped my foot impatiently. Everyone looked at me, giving me the floor again.

"I said, I have something to tell you guys."

"What is it?!" Ichiru shrieked from his place on the floor.

"Well," I paused for dramatic effect. Sort of. "I'm moving out." Mom ran over to me and put both of her hands on the side of my face.

"Are you really?"

"Yeah. Yomi helped me find an apartment last week."

"But—"

"No buts. I'm too old to still live with my parents, don't you think?"

Mom's hands dropped to her sides and she turned to dad, who just shrugged. Ichiru pouted and stared at me. I knew that look, and it I had built an immunity to it. My body completely nullified puppydog eyes!

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Once I had gotten completely moved into my new "pad," I figured I needed to spice it up since it was so plain and all. I ran up the steps, my arms being weighed down by shopping bags. I didn't have much "style" at all and decoration was certainly not my forte´, so the only things in my shopping bags were tons of food and new bedsheets. It's a start, right?

Trying my best not to drop anything, I inserted the key into the lock and turned it, pushing the door open. Expecting it to be silent and calming, I was met with loud yells and arguing. Sitting on my couch, standing in the kitchen, and laying on the floor were several Akatsuki members. Their heads turned in my direction as I stood there, with my mouth hanging open.

"SHORI-SENPAI!!!!"

I moved out of the way as Tobi came running out of my bedroom with his arms outstretched. Why were there Akatsuki members in my apartment?! Looking over everyone, I spotted one Hidan, one Tobi, one Itachi, one Zetsu, one Kakuzu, one Kisame and zero Deidaras. Not that I y'know cared or anything. I was past all that.

Trying not to get an ulcer, I went to the kitchen and put away all the food I had bought. It was enough to last me about a month, if I was by myself and not surrounded by grown men. Maybe they were all a figment of my imagination, which probably meant that I had been taking sips from the crazy juice. I hadn't remembered doing that (hello?) so I guessed not.

Slowly and cautiously, I poked my head out of the kitchen, seeing if they were still there. Yup.

Hidan, Kisame, and Zetsu were staring at my new tv (courtesy of Yomi's parents); Itachi was reading a book that I saw was one of mine; Kakuzu was counting some money, the wad unusually thick; and Tobi had ventured back into my bedroom—something that worried me.

I followed him into my plain bedroom and did a quick scan over it. Mirror...dresser...desk...nightstand...bed...person lying on bed— I stared back at my bed to see a blond haired somebody lying on their side, their back facing me. Okayyyy....it could be anybody. There's lots of people with blond hair.

"Hey, Shori-Senpai."

I looked over to Tobi, who was standing in front of my dresser holding something white.

"Do you wear cute undies like this all the time?"

OH. MY. GOD.

I barely had enough time to think before my hands were clamped around Tobi's neck. Where did he get off going through my underwear drawer? Men...

"Ack! Let go, Shori-Senpai!"

"Apologize! NOW!"

"Tobi's sorry!"

I let go of the 'good boy's' neck and picked up my fallen underwear. Tobi scurried out of the room and I rubbed my temple. The headache was on its way.

In order for me to be able to change my sheets and comforter, the blond somebody would have to get up and move. They were snoring softly and I inched my way over to them, trying not to wake the somebody. Once I got close, I kneeled down on my mattress, trying to look at the person's face. Of course it was Deidara. He rolled over, causing me to lose my balance and fall to the floor. Luckily, he didn't wake up.

As I stood up, an idea popped into my head—play in his hair. Well before any of you start judging me, Deidara had really nice hair. Nicer than most girls I knew. So when the oppurtunity comes when you can play in someones hair that nice,you take it! I started braiding it, not paying attention to the blue eye opening and staring at me. When I finished the braid, I smiled. Then I noticed the eye. Then I wanted to jump out the window.

"H-hi," I said, embarrassed.

A smirk appeared on his lips and he reached up, twirling his finger in my own hair. "Hey, hm."

Deidara still hadn't decided on his exact feelings for me yet, and I was starting to get impatient. Truthfully, I didn't even know what _my _exact feelings were yet. Sure, there was that voice in my head that kept saying that I was in love with him, but I was still a little unsure...

Leaning up, Deidara began to unravel the braid in his hair, which made it appear wavy.

"Why are you guys here and how did you find me?" I asked as Deidara ran his fingers through his own hair.

"We're bored, hm."

Did criminals even get bored? I thought they'd just go rob a jewelry store if they had nothing else to do. I was surprised.

"You're bored." I still couldn't believe it. Deidara got a few inches too close again and brushed my bangs out of my face. I really wished he'd quit, seeing as I had a humongous forehead and the bangs covered it up.

"Give me something to do," he breathed in my ear. Even though he looked serious when he said it, it was a little hard to believe that Deidara was only one year older than me. His voice was a bit deep, but not too deep. Just the right amount of deepness. And to tell the truth, I liked his speech impediment. Was that weird?

Deidara's lips hovered right above mine and my heart started pumping furiously in my chest. And then—

_**CRASH.**_

"Oh no! Tobi's sorry, Shori-Senpai!"

And just like that, a moment was ruined. Thanks, Tobi. I sighed and got up, going into the kitchen where Tobi was staring down at a broken plate—ones I had gotten as a housewarming gift. "...It's fine," I said, bending down to pick up the ceramic shards. One cut my finger and blood dripped onto the floor.

"Oh no!" Tobi gasped. "Are you okay, Shori—"

"_**TOBI!**_" I roared. "For the last time, my name is SHI-ori!"

Hidan, who had been sitting on my counter, hopped down and grabbed my hand. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Deidara come stumbling out of my bedroom. I guessed I wasn't the only person who got dizzy if they laid or sat for too long. I gasped as Hidan put my finger in his mouth, licking all the blood off. I've done it to small cuts that were on me, but someone else doing it to you is a little weird. My cheeks warmed up and I tried to pull my hand back.

"What are you doing?" Hidan asked as I took my finger away. "You're still bleeding!"

"I-I know that!" I stood up, sliding on the floor and falling backwards. Aren't I graceful? Hidan caught me and put his head on my shoulder.

"Well, aren't you the graceful one."

Remember how I said I disliked Hidan? Well, that factor didn't change that much as he wrapped his arms around my waist, squeezing.

Tobi had finished picking up the broken plate for me and was now bugging Deidara, who's eyes were on me and Hidan.

"Get off me," I said, pushing his face away with my non cut hand.

"Aw, come on kitty-cat don't be like that.."

Bringing my elbow back sharply, I caught him right in the stomach. Making a satisfying '**oof' **Hidan started slinging out a flurry if curse words. I found I don't really appreciate being called a 'stupid bitch.' But hey, that's just me.

I scowled at him and went into the bathroom, searching the medical cabinet for a band-aid. Finding none, I tried the bottom cabinet. I remembered buying them and not being able to find any was a little frustrating.

The door shut behind me and I heard it lock with a little "click" and I sighed. Who was the guy who thought it'd be funny to lock me in the bathroom?

I looked up at the mirror and saw another face behind me. Screaming in surprise, I whirled around and stomped on their foot by accident.

"Ow! What was that for, hm?"

"Don't sneak up on me like that! And unless you have a band-aid, I suggest you get out!"

Deidara rubbed his sore foot before reaching up over me, retrieving a box. The box of band-aids.

"How'd they get up there?" I asked, snatching the box from him.

"Didn't I tell you we're bored?"

I put my hands on my hips. "So you're telling me that you guys hid my things?"

He shrugged and I pushed past him, opening the bathroom door and stepping out just as there was a bunch of loud knocks at my front door.

"It's me, Yomi! Shiori open up!"

Oh crap. What does one do when their best friend comes over and they have an apartment full of criminals? They freak out, of course!

One by one, I pushed everyone into my bedroom and closed the door, threatening to pound their faces in if they made a sound.

Before I could come to the door, Yomi had already opened it with an extra key that she had taken from me.

"Hey!" she said, giving me a tight hug. "I came over to cook, since I know you can't make anything to save your life."

In a way, she was right. The only things I could cook were instant ramen and fried eggs. Omelets on occasion.

Yomi went passed me to the kitchen and started immediately taking things out of my cabinets and refrigerator. Watching her, I heard a _thump _coming from my bedroom. Didn't I tell them to shut up? Shut up and not make any noise or I will pound your face in, were my exact words.

Another thump.

Yomi turned the stove on.

_Thump._

I bit my lip.

_Thump._

"Shiori, is there someone in here?" she asked, raising her eyebrows and looking down towards my room.

_Thump._

The door creaked open and I nearly screamed. This probably wasn't going to end well.

"Are you hiding a boy in there?" Yomi asked me accusingly. She started towards my room and I skidded past her, poking my head into my bedroom.

Everyone was either sitting on or around my bed, staring at the door.

"Cloaks. Off. Now!" I yelled through my teeth. "Put them in the closet!"

I shut the door and turned towards Yomi, who was staring at me with a worried expression.

"You're not having a nervous breakdown again are you?" She put her hand on my head and pulled me to the couch.

_Thump..._

If they didn't stop the thumping, someone was going to have a fist connected to their faces. What part of 'don't make noise' didn't they seem to get? It wasn't that hard! Yomi looked towards my room, then back at me, then back at my room. Giving me a 'look', she ran towards my bedroom with me trying to catch her.

"I know someone's in there! Come out!"

"Yomi, don't!" I yelled, pulling her by her waist. After much struggling, I had finally wrestled her to the ground. There was no way that Yomi could beat me in a wrestling match. Maybe since she was shorter and smaller in comparison to me, I always won.

"Come out whoever's—mmph!"

I clapped a hand over Yomi's mouth and prayed that no one would listen.

But what ever happened the way I wanted it to these days? Absolutely nothing. Yomi shoved me off a little too forcefully, causing me to hit my head on the wall. She jumped up and flung the door open, gasping the gaspiest gasp I had ever heard her gasp before.

Rubbing my aching head, I stood up and my jaw dropped. There, in my bedroom were shirtless Akatsuki members (minus Tobi and Zetsu). Why were they shirtless? Why did they have to look like a scene from a harem manga or something?

Boy-crazy Yomi looked like she was in absolute heaven. That look changed to one of absolute envy when she looked up at me.

"What's this, Shiori?" she asked, her foot tapping.

Thinking up a quick lie, I said, "They're uh...my friends from uh....a distant land..and they helped me when I was kidnapped."

I made sure to leave out the part about them actually kidnapping me. Yomi looked me up and down, still not quite buying it.

"Isn't that right, guys?" I looked at them hopefully. Tobi ran over and gave me a hug.

"That's right, SHI-ori senpai."

SHI-ori? Well, it was a start, wasn't it? Yomi seemed to buy it as she looked from me to Tobi. "Well, alright..."

Breathing a sigh of relief, I pointed to the phone. "How about instead of cooking, you order pizza?"

"Well...okay, Shiori."

As Yomi walked away, I went into my bedroom with my arms folded.

"Why'd you take your shirts off?" I asked, trying to keep my voice to its regular pitch.

Hidan, who had his shoes in my bed replied, "You said clothes off now."

"I said cloaks! Cloaks off now! Put your shirts back on!"

Hidan, Kisame, and Deidara looked a little disappointed. "Man," Hidan said. "Thought you wanted to do something a little _nasty._" He wiggled his eyebrows at me and I stuck my tongue out at him. Pervert.

I shooed them out of the room and tried to fix my new sheets over my mattress which had a footprint on it. As I unfolded the comforter, a pair of arms wrapped around my waist. "What do you want, Deidara?"

"Nothing, hm. I don't have anything to do."

"Cuz you fail at life," I said pulling a pillowcase over my pillow. I felt Deidara breathing in my hair and I wanted nothing more than to just pull away. But I couldn't.

"That's not nice Shiori, hm."

Shrugging, I admired my work on my bed. "Who said I was nice?"

"Anyway...what's your friend's name, hm?"

What? "It's...Yomiko." I turned to look at him but he turned me back around. "Why?"

"Her boobs are bigger than yours..." He trailed off.

That's what he had to say? That her boobs are bigger than mine? I had never wanted to punch Deidara as much as I did when he said that. Someone needed to tell him he was an ass, and it wasn't going to be just me.

Pulling Deidara's arms from around me, I turned towards the door and yelled, "Hey Itachi, Kisame, Kakuzu and Hidan! Come here for a second!"

I waited 10 minutes before the four of them were standing in my doorway.

"Will you guys kindly tell Deidara here that he is an ass?"

"You're an ass," they all said at the same time. Deidara folded his arms and looked towards the window, a frown appearing on his face.

"Thanks," I said to the four of them.

Yomi came pushing past the four of them and ran up to me with the phone in her hand. She glanced at Deidara and I saw a flicker in her eyes that I didn't like.

"How many pizzas, Shiori?" she asked.

I thought about how many everyone could eat and I swore my wallet started to whine. "10 large I guess..." Oh my poor poor emaciated wallet. As Yomi placed the order, smiling at Deidara the whole time, I went into my living room. There didn't seem to be any damage and everything was intact. Zetsu was in the corner next to the couch. For the first time, I thoroughly looked him over. He caught me staring at him and I froze, not moving at all.

"Shiori! Shiori!" Yomi grabbed my arm and pulled me into the bathroom.

"What is it?"

She jumped up and down. "Why didn't you tell me you knew all those hot guys?!"

I raised my eyebrows and asked, "You think all of them are hot?"

"No silly," she shook her head. "The black haired one, the silver haired one and the blonde one!"

I must have had a weird look on my face because immediately after saying that, Yomi made an 'oh' face. "The one you were talking about was the black haired one, huh? He doesn't talk much, but he does look really cool. That's alright, I like the blond-haired one better. Oh! Y'know from a quick glance I thought he was a girl?"

"Yomi—" I began. She interuppted me by opening the door and gliding out of it, ready to flirt on command. She had the completely wrong idea about this whole thing. Sure, Itachi was good-looking and all, but not the one I had numerous nervous breakdowns over.


	16. Of Pizza and Men

Chapter 16-Of Pizza and Men

I stared at my empty wallet on the table and sighed, these people were costing me money. But luckily I was able to save my savings from Kakuzu's clutches. Note to all you people out there: **Don't leave criminals alone in your house.**

It's probably not the best idea.

As everyone sat around, eating pizza, I found that I wasn't that hungry like I was earlier. So after forcing everyone off of the couch, I now had it to myself. For some reason, I was just exhausted and watching my best friend flirt with the guy I was probably in love with didn't help that factor.

"Hey Shiori!"

"What, Yomi?" I asked, my voice sounding a little meaner than usual.

"Do you mind if I sleep over tonight?" I knew where she was going with this.

"Whatever..."

Yomi made a small 'yay' noise and continued her useless flirting. Deidara couldn't be interested, could he? I wished I knew how he felt about me.

After I couldn't take anymore of watching them, I got up and sauntered off to my bedroom where I shut the door once I was in. From the doorway, my bed looked like a big cloud, waiting for me to flop onto it.

Taking a running start, I jumped onto my bed and it creaked under the impact. But it didn't break down, which was a really good thing. The new pillows I had gotten really paid off and I was asleep in minutes.

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When I woke from my seemingly peaceful slumber, the apartment was dark and silent. Was that good or bad? Cautiously, I stepped out of my room and into the hallway. Still eerily silent.

Yomi was lying on my couch, her feet propped up on Deidara, who was sitting up. It was hard to tell just who everyone was on account of the total darkness, but those two were pretty easy to pick out.

"What's the matter pet, hm?"

I nearly jumped five feet in the air at the sound of his voice. Hearing him get up, I crawled into the kitchen, hoping he didn't see me move. Tripping over a body, I slammed my face into the cabinet. Whoever I had fallen over grunted and rolled over, placing their arm on my ankle.

"Shiori." From the sound of his voice, Deidara had no clue where I was and I tried hard to stifle my laughter. He stepped into the kitchen, cutting the light on. Whoops, hadn't thought about that.

Before I could scramble away, Deidara caught me by my hair and pulled me out of the kitchen. Guess I was still a pet. "Put me down!"

Putting one finger up to his lips, he let go of my hair and shoved me in the bathroom, locking himself inside with me. There was one thing I always knew—one Deidara+ one Shiori= awkward trouble.

"What are you doing...?" I asked groggily. I was beginning to get sleepy again and wanted nothing more than to just fall back onto my "cloud."

Deidara leaned against the opposite wall in front of me and stared at his right mouth-hand. "You didn't eat anything today, hm."

"Yeah, so?"

The mouth on his palm stuck its tongue out and I got a little weirded out at how long it was. Long tongues reminded me of snakes, and I absolutely couldn't stand them. "...Why is your tongue so—nevermind." I decided to stop myself before I asked anything that would give him a reason to say something pervy.

"Which tongue?" he asked, looking at me with one eyebrow raised.

"_Your _tongue!"

Deidara shrugged. "I have 3 tongues."

Yuck. Maybe I should change the topic to something else.

"So..." I looked at him, up, and around the perimeter of my regular sized bathroom.

"I'm _bored, _Shiori," he whined, resting his head on my shoulder. Oh no, he had made physical contact! Red alert! Red alert! Alarma rojo!

Patting Deidara on the back awkwardly, I leaned away from him. What was I going to do about him being bored? Magically make something for an S-ranked criminal to do appear out of my hat?

"Then why did you all have to come barging in my apartment. You all are greedy and are starting to cost me money already! And I swear if Kakuzu tries to steal my savings again, i'll snap his neck!"

"That's a little dark for you, hm." Deidara tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear and I furrowed my eyebrows. Why did he always do that? That and running his fingers up and down my face. Maybe I should get the whole feelings thing under control before anything went on any further between the two of us.

"Deidara," I said plainly, looking him right in the eyes...er, eye.

"Yeah."

"What do you think about me?"

He stayed silent, and I frowned at him.

"Seriously! What?"

I still got no answer, and my heart sank. It sank so low I swore I felt it fall out of my pants leg.

"Stop crying, hm."

There I went again, doing things without realizing it. It was like my brain reacted much later to things that my body did. Like an out-of-tune watch. Either going too fast or too slow. "I'm not crying," I said, looking at the floor. Tilting my chin up with his finger, Deidara gave me a small peck on the forehead.

"I'm-not-telling, hm." Oh boy.

"That's not fair!" I yelled in his face, which was still close to mine.

"I'm not a fair man..."

Oh boy times 100. If my face could get any warmer, I might've gotten a nosebleed.

Since Deidara was blocking my only escape out of the bathroom, I had no choice but to sit and talk to him about things that made completely no sense. Oh, another thing I found out was that Deidara does indeed have a long tongue. All 3 of them are long. So go right ahead, make any pervy comments that you want to because even I couldn't resist throwing some in there myself.

"Can I go to bed now?" I finally asked after an hour and a half. It was getting harder and harder to keep my eyes open.

Deidara, who had been running his fingers through my hair and telling me again in great detail on what art was, shook his head. "No...i'm not done talking, hm."

"...But i'm so tired..." Whining had been my absolute last resort when it came to anything, but I was getting desperate. I had one more weapon in my arsenal. When Deidara looked at me again, I pouted—trying my best to imitate the twin monsters when they wanted something.

After 5 minutes of constant puppydog staring, he rolled his eyes and pushed me out of the bathroom, where I scrambled to my bed. Once on it I seemed to sink into the soft covers and it felt like heaven. Absolute heaven.

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"Shiori! Wake up!"

I opened my eyes to someone violently shaking me by the shoulders. It took a lot of me to not just kick that person in the stomach, but hey, I think i'm a better person than that.

"WHAT?!" I yelled. They were beginning to rattle my brain with their constant shaking.

Yomi stopped shaking me and folded her arms. "Wake up...I made breakfast!"

Breakfast. That sounded absolutely wonderful seeing as I hadn't eaten anything the day before. As soon as I came back to earth from the cloud known as my bed, the delicious smell of bacon came drifting into my nose. Yomi gave me one of her signature 'looks', walking out of my room and I thought I knew why: snuggled up against me with his arm around my waist was Deidara. And at the foot of my bed, talking in his sleep was Tobi. I'm not done yet. On the left of me was Itachi, him of all people, his legs crossed and head on one of my pillows. There was a book ontop of his face and I guessed he had fallen asleep while reading it next to the lamp on my nightstand.

I had only one question: Why the heck where they in _my bed?!!!!_ Anyone could walk in and think something negative, and I was guessing that's exactly what Yomi did. But I had nothing to worry about seeing as absolutely nothing happened...

Did something happen? They were criminals, and it probably wouldn't be too crazy if they happened to do unmentionable things to a defenseless girl in her sleep. As soon as those thoughts crossed my mind I began to freak out. I checked everything on my person, making sure my pajamas were as they were the night before. Everything was fine and I breathed a sigh of relief. I still had my innocence. That was good!

I carefully tried to lean up but Deidara's grip on me tightened and he muttered something incoherent. He was way too close and his stupid hair was tickling me in my face.

"...**a-CHOO!**" I sneezed right in his face.

Deidara woke up immediately and narrowed his eyes at me. He should have been happy that I didn't blow snot right in his pretty boy face.

As I stared daggers at him, his expression softened and his eye drooped. Taking this as my chance I leaned up, only to be pulled back down and rolled ontop of.

"Deidara, get off me!" I gasped, trying to push his body off of me. His scent temporarily distracted me but I was brought back to reality when a voice to the left of me spoke.

"If you're going to do _that, _smothering her first isn't a good idea."

Thank you, Itachi!

Only a little birdie told me before that Deidara and Itachi weren't exactly friendly towards one another. Deidara didn't move from his spot on top of me and I brought my knee up sharply, missing my target. What I did succeed in doing, however, was kicking Tobi out the bed.

He hit the floor with a **thud. **

Sighing, Itachi got up, his hand barely brushing mine and walked away, muttering how Deidara was an ass. I second that.

After much struggling and fighting, I managed to roll Deidara off of me. We both fell onto the wooden floor with a **WHAM! **Ouch.

Deidara was the first one to stand up, running his fingers through his blond locks before prodding me with his foot. Rubbing my sore head, I kicked my feet out, hoping to make him lose his balance. Deidara quickly dodged my attempt and bent down, sitting on my legs. The weight of his body and the angle my legs were positioned in didn't mix well and I yelled in pain, reaching my arms out until I could wrap my fingers around his neck. He did the same, his hands bigger and more powerful than mine.

"Fighting so early in the morning," Tobi said, who I didn't know was awake. "You guys always wanna choke each other."

I paid no attention to what he said, for I was too focused on choking the life out of the man in front of me. Apparently, Deidara didn't care that I was a lady because his grip got tighter and tighter until my vision began to go hazy. What was he trying to do? Kill me?! Well two could play at that game!  
I tightened my grip also but it hadn't had much effect seeing that I was becoming to get weak. Maybe he really didn't have any feelings for me and I was just a useless woman who got on his nerves. That enough made me a little sad and angry at the same time. Fine!

Trying as hard as I could, I jumped up and pinned Deidara down by his neck. His grip loosened as he stared at me with an expression of shock on his face. Yup, that's right. A girl, smaller and shorter than you had single handedly pinned you down. Deidara's shocked expression soon turned into one that I was used to seeing all the time—one raised eyebrow and a smirk.

"When you'd get so strong, hm?"

I didn't like the tone of his voice so I jumped off of him and pointed to the door. "Out! Both of you, out now!"

"Yo, kitty cat!"

I winced at Hidan's little nickname for me and glared into the hallway. Things were already beginning to annoy me and it was only morning. Truthfully, all I wanted to do was flop back on my fluffy cloud.

"Shiori!" This time it was Yomi who called me. I already had people calling my name...geez.

"Shiori, aren't you gonna eat?" Yomi's voice called.

"No." I began to fish through my drawers for clothes to wear for the day and I finally settled on a pair of shorts and an oversized t-shirt. It wasn't like I was going anywhere and if I did have to do something, like a mission or whatever, i'd just have to change clothes. But i'd have to cross that bridge when I came to it.

Turning around, I saw that Tobi was still in my doorway along with Deidara who was staring at me boredly. Quickly getting irritated, I shouted.

"GO _DO _SOMETHING! GET OUT OF MY _ROOM!!_"

I entered the bathroom and slammed the door, locking it. What I needed was a nice hot bath. Maybe then could I get rid of the ulcers I swore I was about to form from the stressful Akatsuki.

I ran the bathwater and dumped about half a box of green tea bath powder in it. Yes. Green tea bath powder. Soon the bathroom was filled with steam and the smell of green tea and I sunk right into the water, closing my eyes. It was so relaxing that I nearly fell asleep and drowned, waken up by the coughing fit I was having.

Just when I thought I was going to become a raisin, the water had become cold and I was forced to get out my tub of happiness. Life was just so relaxing when you sat in hot green tea water. Drying off, I stared at myself in the mirror.

There were numerous marks and bruises everywhere on my body, counting the newly acquired handprints around my neck. The bruises that were once around my wrists had turned into ugly dark rings, the skin thin and soft. The slightest prick would probably cause them to bleed.

Sighing heavily, I got dressed and put my towel over my wet hair, not wanting to leave the peace of my warm steamy bathroom.

Waiting for me outside of the door was utter and complete chaos.

Yomi had spilled grease on the floor, Hidan had slipped on it and was now having a cursing fit, Deidara was choking Tobi with a dish towel, Kakuzu was counting a thick wad of cash that I had just confiscated from him, Itachi was lazily flicking through the channels on my tv, and Kisame was throwing wads of balled up paper at Zetsu, who was sitting motionless in the corner. Not exactly something you'd want to see after you got out of the bathtub. My patience had since washed down the drain and I couldn't take anymore. First I went to the kitchen. Yomi was working hard to scrub the grease stain off of my floor as Hidan rubbed his sore bottom. Tobi's awkward sounding squawks and gasps for air were getting pretty annoying to listen to and the more Deidara choked, the more noises Tobi made.

"**DEIDARA**!" I roared. He flinched and turned his golden head towards me. "Stop choking Tobi!"

After looking at me for a few minutes, Deidara continued choking poor little Tobi with the dish towel. Taking the towel from him, I smacked Deidara across the face with it. He stared open-mouthed at me, as did Yomi.

He lunged forward, and I barely had enough time to fall backwards over Tobi before Deidara could grab me. Moving as quickly as I could, I retreated into my bathroom—my one safe haven in the whole house. The smell of green tea was still lingering in the air and had me so intoxicated by its wonderful scent that I had momentarily forgotten that Deidara was chasing me.

"Shi—" was all he was able to say before I smacked him again with the towel.

This only seemed to anger him and he put one hand on my forehead and pushed, causing me to fall right into the tub I had just gotten out of.

Taking too much abuse, the back of my head seemed to split and blood began to trickle down my fingers, staining my dark blue hair with crimson red.


	17. In Stitches

**Greetings, readers! i cannot thank u enough for all the reviews! Sorry for the late update, i was sorta getting ready for the anime convention this weekend. (psst...dont tell anyone, but this will be my first con ever! ) Anywho, in this chappie, yomi and deidara get a bit too close for shiori's liking. READ MORE TO FIND OUT**

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~Chapter 17: In Stitches

"..Ow!" I winced as Kakuzu worked on sewing the new gash up on the back of my head. He had been working on it for the past 10 minutes and was still surprisingly not finished. We were sitting in my bed and the towel I had used to dry my hair was now stained with blood as it lay on the floor.

Deidara, who had all of a sudden turned friendly again, stared at me with his head propped up on his hand.

A sudden surge of pain from the stitches being tightened caused me to grit my teeth and clench the sheets under me. "Could you hurry up?"

"Shut up," he muttered in reply, tightening the stitches again. Deidara's foot tapped impatiently as he waited for Kakuzu to finish and I wanted to hit him—this was all his fault to begin with!

"Ow! Dammit, Kakuzu!"

"Who's fault is it that you split your head open? Shut the hell up!"

Frowning, I shut up as he continued sewing me up. He seemed to be really good at that stuff.

"Done," he finally said after what seemed like forever. I heard a little **snip **as he cut the remaining string off. My hand flew to the back of my head and Kakuzu smacked it—harder than he needed to.

"Don't touch it, idiot or it'll pop. I'm not doing it over if it pops."

Once he left the room I frowned, wanting to touch my new stitches to see what they felt like. Deidara stood up and came over to me, holding my hair up to see the stitches. "Gross, hm."

"Like you're the one to talk," I said, rolling my eyes. "Just shut up and leave me alone."

The wound on the back of my head throbbed painfully and I groaned, lying flat on my stomach. The soft cloud that was my bed now felt like a rock for some reason and I groaned again.

"What's the matter, pet?" Deidara asked in a mocking voice. "Stitches hurt, hm?"

"Shut up Deidara." My voice came out low and muffled, barely audible. My bed creaked slightly as he mirrored my position next to me, placing his face dangerously close to my head. I could feel his breath blowing on my recently closed up wound and it stung painfully. Someone needed to teach Deidara a thing or two about personal space because he was always invading mine.

"SHIORI!"

I jumped and groaned again into my comforter. When would I get a moments peace? Would I have to lock myself in the bathroom with the green tea smell?

Footsteps thudded against the wooden floor as whoever had called me came running into my room. "SHIORI!" they yelled again.

"What. Is. It. Yomi."

Yomi sat on the other side of me, putting her hand on the back of my head. I howled in pain and her hand quickly retreated back onto her lap. Deidara snickered and I swore i'd get him back for it all. For everything. Everything that had happened to me in the past 4 months was all Deidara's fault.

"Are you alright, Shiori?" Yomi asked, careful not to put her hand back on my head.

The only answer she received was a muffled shriek of some sort for I was too angry and exhausted to even form words.

Hands clamped down on my shoulders and rolled me over onto my back and a another howl of pain escaped my mouth. I didn't believe I had asked to be turned over. Yomi looked over at Deidara, who was the culprit. The way her finger unconsciously went up to her brown hair and started twirling around, made me a little worried. Deidara was looking at her curiously, probably anticipating what she was going to do next. Did they forget I was here, injured?

I leaned up and left the room, leaving the two idiots to be alone. Why should I care what they did?

My stomach growled loudly and I shuffled into the kitchen, slipping on the grease spot on the floor.

"Son of a—YOMI!!"

"What?" she called from my room.

I stayed silent, knowing that if I didn't answer her she'd come running like she always did. I sat in the same spot for 10 minutes, and Yomi didn't leave my room. I knew why.

Growling and cursing under my breath, I opened my refrigerator finding most of the food I had bought the previous day gone. Not only that, but the sink was full of dirty dishes. Dirty dishes with food still on them. Checking the cabinets, I found a bag of bagels with one left inside and I popped it into the toaster with a sigh.

As I smeared it with strawberry cream cheese, I could feel eyes staring at me. Turning around with half the bagel in my mouth, I saw Kisame and Hidan looking at me from the small dining room area. They continued to stare and I continued to stare back, eating the bagel all the while.

"Can I help you?" I asked, my mouth full of food.

They said nothing, instead looking at each other and snickering. What was so funny?

I turned to Tobi, who was staring at me also. What?

"SHI-ori senpai?" he said, pulling my arm. "Are you stressed out?"

"Yes I am, Tobi. Why do you ask?"

He put one finger on his non visible chin. "You've been making a mean face all day. See?" Tobi pulled me to the bathroom and pointed to the mirror.

Sure enough, my nose was scrunched up and my eyes were narrowed. Just looking at myself in the mirror like that caused me to go into a hysterical fit of laughter. My face instantly relaxed as I laughed at myself and in a way, it felt better.

"See SHI-ori senpai? You look very pretty when you smile. Doesn't she, Kisame?"

Kisame's blue face appeared in the mirror and I jumped, whirling round to face him. I couldn't help bursting into laughter again. Truthfully, I had no clue why I was laughing and I didn't really care. Letting everything out and laughing was starting to erase the stressfulness of the day. A strange purple mark appeared on his cheeks and I laughed even harder. His blushes came out purple! (Blue and red makes purple, remember?)

When I felt as if I couldn't breath anymore, I wiped the tears out of my eyes and sighed heavily.

That state of relaxation was short lived as I went to my room to tell Yomi about it. I turned the doorknob and it clicked—meaning it was locked or broken. Turning it again, I bumped into it with my hips and it flew open, throwing me onto the hard wooden floor with a heavy **thud.**

"Yom—" was all I was able to get out before my eyes widened in horror.

There, on my bed, was Deidara...banging my best friend. Yup, I said banging and that's exactly what they were doing. Everything in my head shut down, one word popping into my head:

**Fugutaiten**

I honestly thought that I wouldn't have to think about that word but that's exactly what I felt. My feelings at that exact moment were hatred, embarrassment, and most of all, betrayal. How could they do that? They hardly knew each other!

"**OHMYGOD!!**" I yelled. I'm sure the people in the next village over could hear me. Yomi opened her eyes and looked over at me, her face reddening. Deidara looked over at me also, but his face didn't redden in embarrassment. Instead a small smirk danced across his lips. Never since I had known him did I want to murder him as badly as I did at that moment.

My bottom lip quivered and his smirk vanished. I wanted to punch myself and force myself not to cry. I couldn't cry. Crying wouldn't make anything better.

"Shiori," Yomi said, leaning up. "It's not what it looks like! We were just—"

"**What do you mean it's not what it looks like?!**" My voice had risen to its highest and loudest degree. Reaching into the holster on my thigh, I pulled out one of my "S" marked kunai knives and intended to inflict serious damage when I was tackled to the ground.

"No, SHI-ori senpai! Don't do it!"

Tobi held my arms down as I tried and tried with all my might to break free. What would it matter if I just cut them a little? Bad enough to make them bleed and leave a mark but not bad enough to kill them. No big deal, right? I didn't think so.

As I laid on the floor being restrained, I did a lot of thinking. And the longer I laid there, the more I thought how pointless all this was and how much of an idiot I had been. It had been my fault for falling for a criminal in the first place. They couldn't be trusted. That's why they were criminals. Making me the stupid mouse that fell in love with the cat.

Dropping the kunai, I put my forehead on the floor and laid motionless—hoping this whole thing was just a bad dream. A horrible, cruel nightmare that I was having because I was sleep deprived and starving.

I could feel the presence of someone standing over me and I just continued to lie there, face first into the wooden floor. What was the point anymore?

"Shiori?" came Yomi's voice from over me. She was the absolute last person I wanted to hear from at that moment. Her voice was soft and sounded embarrassed. Serves her right.

"Are you alright?"

I tried to speak but the only thing that came out of my mouth was a choked sob. How could she do that to me? _I _liked Deidara, not her. _I _had countless nervous breakdowns because I wasn't near him, not her. _I _knew him longer than just a day and a night, not her.

Leaning up as quickly as I could to hide my tears, I tore through the apartment and out the front door. Despite the yells of my name from behind me, I kept going. Towards my parents' house.

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Well, there isn't much you can do when both of your parents plus two twin monsters aren't home when you need them to be. Your only option is to sit and cry on the back step, not knowing what else to do.

Hearing a rustle in the bushes behind me, I jumped up and began to run away when a pair of strong arms grabbed my waist and lifted me off the ground.

"Gotcha, hm."

_He _was really the last person on the whole earth I wanted to see.

"Put me down!" I yelled, kicking and screaming. Hopefully the neighbors would hear and come to my rescue. Hopefully.

"Put me down!"

Deidara rolled his eyes at me and said, "No. If I do, you'll run away."

"I know I will! Let me go!" I pounded on his back uselessly as he carried me to a secluded forested area behind my parent's house.

When he finally did let me down, I was tied to a tree to prevent myself from going anywhere. Deidara stared down at me with his arms folded, and his visible blue eye reflected the sun.

For a minute I was lost in his gaze, temporarily forgetting what had happened just a few minutes before.

"Why are you so mad, hm?" he asked, rubbing my cheek with his thumb.

"You...were and Yomi were—" I bit my lip and turned away, I couldn't even bear to finish the sentence. "And...I don't want you to!" Tears were streaming down m face as I kept yelling.

"—She's my best friend and you guys don't even know each other like that! How could you do that?! You're such a man whore, Deidara! And..and you were in my bed!! And you split the back of my head open and now I had to get stitches and...and you guys ate all my food and trashed my house all cuz you're bored and now i'm stressed out and you keep sending me mixed signals and it's so frustrating because I know I shouldn't like you but I do and—"

Deidara interrupted my little rant by pressing his finger against my mouth. I shut up almost instantly until I remembered what he had just done. How did he keep making me forget really important things?

But I didn't say anything else, I just stared up at him with the same mean look from this morning. He'd better get the picture.

Instead of sincerely apologizing like I had hoped, Deidara started to laugh. A laugh that wasn't unpleasant. A laugh that I liked. But, he was _laughing at me! _Either I told a joke at some point or looked really stupid to him.

"What are you laughing at?!" I yelled bitterly. He stopped laughing, pausing only to wipe the tears forming in his eyes.

"..You, hm."

"Why are you laughing at me?!"

"Because you're an idiot."

After all that somewhat heartfelt confession, all Deidara could call me was an idiot. I should've known.

Once again my heart dropped out of my chest and onto the ground with a **thunk. **But, he was right. I was an idiot. An idiot that fell for a criminal.

"Untie me." My voice had dropped back to its normal pitch but was still dripping with acid.

"No."

Alright, if he wouldn't untie me then I would make him untie me! As if on command, I began shrieking and screaming like a wild banshee. I knew someone would hear and I knew someone would come running to investigate. Getting fed up with me apparently, Deidara clamped his hand over my mouth. I hoped and hoped that the mouth on his palm wouldn't open but it did, because what ever happens the way I want it too nowadays? Nothing.

I bit down as hard as I could.

"OUCH!!!!!"

The tiny vein had reappeared in Deidara's forehead and he jumped back, staring at his hand to inspect the damage.

"UNTIE ME, DEIDARA!"

Apparently biting down on one of his three tongues made him angry and instead of untying me, he turned around and left. "Come back!" I yelled.

He said something but was too far away for me to understand.

Out of frustration and exhaustion, I opened my mouth and screamed—the loudest I had ever screamed in my life. I kept it up until my voice had gone hoarse and by then, someone had already heard me.

"Shiori?!"

Dad and the twin monsters ran up to the tree I was struggling against and worked on untying me, asking me a thousand questions. I couldn't answer their questions because there was only one thing on my mind—strangling Deidara. For real this time.

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**Oh ho ho!**


	18. Confessional

Chapter 18: Confessional

Besides the fact that my dad and twin monsters were talking a mile a minute trying to find out why I was tied to a tree but I didn't care. In case they were going to follow me to my Akatsuki-infested apartment, I came up with a quick lie.

"I was training and then I accidentally got stuck here! Ha, well i'm going home. See you!"

Before they could even get out a word, I was off down the road and towards my apartment. It was about late afternoon by now and in the distance I could see pink. Pumping my legs furiously, I finally made it home—Deidara was just opening the door when I stopped him..

My fingers clamped around his neck and sqouze, trying desperately to halt his breathing. In return, Deidara's hands found their way to my neck and we both ended up on my living room floor, trying to kill one another.

Tobi pulled my waist from behind, trying to make me let go of his "_senpai" _but my hands kept their iron grip on Deidara's throat.

"SHI-ori senpai, stop it!"

Hidan however, encouraged the fight. He yelled and pumped his fists in the air, rooting for blondie. Jerk.

My vision began to blur and I felt dizzy, but I wasn't going to give up yet. Deidara had committed the ultimate crime on the country known as Shiori—he broke my heart. Sappy sounding, yes. But it was sort of true, I think! He was a complete idiot and the hate I was feeling towards him now was burning with the red hot intensity of a thousand suns. That's hot.

After 10 minutes of strangling each other, I lost consciousness, my head landing on Deidara's chest.

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When I came to, I was lying in my bed with another person on the other side of it. That person was blonde, and had vicious hand prints around his neck. They were blue and gross looking and after staring at them for a while I began to feel a little bad. For some unknown reason, a wave of guilt washed over me and I quickly cursed myself for it. How could I forget what he had just done? I couldn't. He deserved those bruises around his neck.

Deidara groaned in his sleep and rolled over, his hand falling across my leg. I leaned up and crawled over to him. Not thinking at all I leaned down as slowly as I could, my mouth hovering just inches above his.

Even though I was so close, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I just couldn't. That wouldn't make anything better. Only more complicated.

Deidara's blue eye opened and before I could react, he hit me as hard as he could, the impact knocking me off the bed and into the floor.

"What was that for?!" I yelled, rubbing my cheek. That punch just added insult to injury and I couldn't take it anymore. So being the big baby that I was, I burst into tears, right then and there. Not just small little silent cries, full out as-loud-as-i-could bawling. Were the tears real or were they fake? Even I didn't know.

He stood up and came over to me, his eyebrow raised like always.

"Stop crying, hm," he said, brushing my bangs out of my face. How could he be mean and vicious one minute and nice and caring the other?

"...**Hic!**"

"Stop crying."

I pushed away from him and went into the kitchen, noticing it was quiet. There were no Akatsuki members in my living room except for Hidan, who was snoring on my couch, and Tobi—staring at the television.

"W-Where'd everybody go?" I asked, wiping tears away from my eyes.

"To buy more food since you're out."

I scoffed and turned around. "I'm out because a bunch of grown men were intruding on my property."

Tobi's swirly orange mask turned towards me. "We're not intruding, SHI-ori senpai! At least, i'm not because Tobi's a good boy!"

Well _that _made everything better.

"Oh!" He spoke up again. "Senpai washed your sheets for you after you passed out."

Slowly, just slowly, was Deidara beginning to slide back onto my list of people I didn't hate. Slowly.

"Pet....hm."

I stayed silent, rooted in my spot.

"Pet...."

Whatever he said, whatever he called me, wouldn't make me move from that spot on the kitchen floor.

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No matter how stubborn I was, I couldn't stay in that same spot forever so by the time the 6 hour mark passed, I retreated back into my room.

My lamp was on, hidden underneath a bedsheet set up like a fort little kids make. I went over and lifted the covers up and a blond head popped up in my face.

"Hey, hm."

Deidara patted the floor next to him and I reluctantly sat, folding my legs and arms up.

There were candy wrappers and potato chip bags everywhere around me and a bunch of...suggestive looking magazines.

"...Pervert," I muttered as he flipped a page.

He ignored me, still staring at the magazine pages. When I couldn't take anymore silence, I decided to break it.

"When are you guys leaving," I said. Deidara looked up.

"You want us to leave,hm?"

"Gee, I really like having a bunch of criminals in my apartment eating up everything and taking up space! You know technically i'm _harboring __criminals!"_

The look on Deidara's face pretty much summed up how he didn't care one single bit. And it wasn't like I figured he would. All of a sudden, Deidara's hand shot out and I flinched, not trying to be hit again. Instead of punching me in the face like earlier, his hand just rested on my cheek.

There he was again not being clear. First he acts like he hates me, then the next second he's all nice. I knew one thing for sure—Deidara had more mood swings than a pregnant woman. So to clear everything up, I decided to have a sort of confessional. And blondie was going first.

"Tell me everything." I looked up at him to see his eyebrow raised.

"What?"

"Tell me everything!"

"About what, hm?"

"Just start confessing. Everything."

His eyebrow still raised, he began talking anyway.

".....I'm...male.."

"Still has yet to be proven," I said quietly so he wouldn't hear. Well, he heard.

"What, you think i'm a woman, hm?"

"I didn't say that..._Miss _Deidara." The tiny vein in his forehead reappeared and I shut up, trying to stifle my laughter. He made it too easy!

"How about this?" I unfolded my arms. "I ask a question and you answer."

"Fine." The vein still hadn't disappeared from his forehead.

The conversation went a little like this:

"How many people have you killed?"

"_Too many to count. I don't really care how many i've killed, as long as I can show off my art, hm."_

"You need a hobby."

"_I have a hobby."_

"Blowing people up is not a hobby."

"_Being a pain in the ass isn't a hobby either."_

"What are you trying to say?!"

"_Can we just move on, hm?"_

"Fine. What's your favorite food?"

"_What kind of questions are these?"_

"Answer the question, blondie!"

"_Bakudan, hm."_

"In oden?"

"_Yes."_

"That's stupid."

"_You're stupid, hm."_

"Androgynous idiot..."

"_What was that?"_

"Androgynous idiot!!"

And that's about as far as we got before we were strangling each other again. By the time I felt faint again, Deidara's loosened his grip around my nearly swollen neck and pried my fingers off of his. This time for real I was beginning to have difficulty breathing—even after the strangling was over. Maybe he damaged my windpipe or something. I coughed and hacked, something threatening to come up any second. Running into the bathroom, I bent over the toilet and barfed.

Most of it was blood I noticed and the sight of it made me sick. I needed food. That was my only priority seeing as I couldn't remember when I had eaten last. With Deidara behind me, I went into the kitchen and started pulling out everything that didn't have to be cooked.

Instant ramen, potato chips, instant soba, cherry filled jelly buns and a tall bottle of green tea. Yup, I was ready!

Hauling my cargo into my room I hurriedly began eating as Deidara watched me with a look of disdain on his face. "You gonna share, hm?"

"Nope," I said, slurping up noodles. As I picked up more with my chopsticks, blondie interrupted by invading my personal space and eating the noodles that I was holding in my chopsticks. Too bad that said noodles were almost in my mouth. The whole scene reminded me terribly of a movie I watched with Ami with two dogs. Ring any bells?

I was frozen. Even though Deidara was constantly stomping on my nerves, I couldn't push him away. Or could I? These were the same lips that were all over my best friend and some brown haired bimbo! Of course I could push him away!

I shoved with all my might, knocking Deidara off balance. He knocked over all the instant food I had made, spilling the contents all over the floor. In a panic, I ran to get a mop before the smell and the stain could stay in my room. Deidara stayed on the floor watching me with a bored expression on his face. He always looked bored. Just like Sasori. Speaking of Sasori, I hadn't seen him in a while.

"Hey Deidara," I said, mopping up the spilled ramen and soba. "What happened to Sasori?"

"He died, hm."

What? He died? How could he be so nonchalant about it all? I know if someone I had to work with died, i'd at least show a little more concern. "Oh."

"Shiori."

I looked down at Deidara, who was now using MY brush to brush his hair.

"What would you do if I died? Would you freak out again, hm?"

What a random question! Of course I would freak out! What kind of question was he asking me? Looking down at the floor as I continued to mop it, I muttered, "Maybe...I'd probably miss you."

"...."

"But n-not like that!" I yelled as an afterthought.

Apparently Deidara wasn't used to being treated that way because a small, really small blush appeared on his face. He turned away, but not before I saw it.

"You're blushing." I grinned as he got up and tried to hit me. "Why're you blushing, Deidara?"

"Shut up, hm!"

The pink spread over his face until he had to completely cover it to avoid being further embarrassed by yours truly. Trying to completely change the subject, I said, "What happened to Yomi, you got tired of her or something?"

"She left."

"Oh wow, you're that terrible in bed? Looking at you I never would've guessed."

The vein in his forehead appeared again and I burst out laughing. It was SO easy to make him mad it was hilarious. And by the end of 10 minutes, he was blushing and snarling at me so intensely I thought he was going to turn into a werewolf right then and there. But he didn't, and I was glad seeing as if he actually did turn into a werewolf, he'd probably kill me, right? And I didn't want to die anytime soon. Not until I was at least 100. And 100 minus 18 was 82, so I had a pretty good amount of time left. And hopefully, so did Deidara.


	19. Stay

~Chapter Nineteen: Stay~

Nightmares. Awful things aren't they? They usually make you terrified in the middle of the night and leave you screaming like a baby. No? Well, that's what they do to me.

At about 3 in the morning, I woke up with a start, sweating and yelling out for someone. The nightmare I had was probably due to something that happened at the bookstore one day. Let me tell you, looking at a picture book on mummies is NOT A GOOD THING TO DO. And from time to time, the images would pop into my head and i'd wake up in the middle of the night screaming in terror. Why'd they have to be so gross looking? Why did bodies have to decompose? Why couldn't we stay the same way?

I grabbed onto the first thing I could reach and wouldn't let go. That "thing" turned out to be Deidara's hair and he yelped in surprise.

"Shiori, hm!" He slapped my hands away and I grabbed onto his arm. That's just how I got when I had night terrors—I grabbed onto things or people and wouldn't let go.

"What's the matter with you? Have a nightmare, hm?"

I nodded and buried my face in his arm. Truthfully, I was so embarrassed to act like that but I was just so terrified at that moment that I didn't care one way or the other. Deidara pulled me closer and held me possessively like a stuffed animal, running his fingers through my damp hair.

"Aren't you a little old to be having nightmares?" he asked, rocking me back and forth. I was beginning to get a little uncomfortable being treated like a baby .

"Shut up," I muttered, my face reddening. "Aren't you a little male to be painting your nails?"

He paused for a second before chuckling. Wow, he didn't get mad this time around. I was making progress!

"We're taking off later, hm."

I looked up at him with wide eyes. They couldn't be leaving yet! Deidara stared back down at me and raised his eyebrow. When a pout formed on my face he rolled his eye and planted a kiss on my forehead. "You can't come."

"It's not like I asked," I mumbled, looking down at my clammy hand.

Deidara grinned and my heart skipped a beat. Okay.....

I needed to change the subject. Fast. "W-what'sthatthingthat'sonyour chest?" My voice came out fast and rushed.

"A mouth, hm."

Another one?! "Thought you only had 3."

"I have 4."

"So why's it all stitched up like that?"

"Because if I fill it with clay it'll turn me into a bomb, hm."

All I could do was stare at him with my mouth open. It turned him into a human bomb?! What kind of crap was that? "Y-you're not gonna use it are you?"

Deidara shrugged and said, "Only if I have to. It's my ultimate art, hm."

"And...you don't care if you get blown up in the process?"

"Nope. I wanna go out with a _bang._"

My mood dropped below zero and I felt like sitting in the corner. That's not the answer I wanted to hear. Being the incredibly big baby I was, I pulled away from him and buried my face into my pillow. Stupid jerk, stupid jerk, stupid jerk, stupid jerk, stupid jerk, stupid jerk, stupid jerk, stupid jerk!!!

"What's wrong, hm? He sounded slightly irritated, maybe because I was always shoving him hard in the chest.

Like he didn't know what was wrong. He was leaving me, that's what was wrong.

"I get it." He put his hand on my back and it just sat there, unmoving.

"Mmmf mf mph mmmf!" roughly translated to "No you don't get it!"

Lifting my head off my pillow, I shot him the glariest glare I had ever glared before. Deidara raised his eyebrow at me and removed his hand from my back.

"You're such an idiot, hm."

"I know!" I whined. "I'm a big fat idiot who's attracted to an even bigger idiot!"

"Hey!"

My face hit the pillow again and I screamed into it out of frustration. I was just so mad! And it didn't help that a certain someone hadn't exactly told me his feelings for me yet. 'I don't know' was what he kept saying, over and over again. I decided I would get an answer, even if it killed me!...Not really.

All of a sudden, I was yanked up by the back of my shirt—ripping it. Looking at the culprit with a frown, I asked, "Do you have to rip my shirts all the time, stupid? Man..."

Deidara didn't look like he cared if my shirts were filled with big holes because he didn't know how to politely get my attention. I turned around to face him, being greeted by both of his palms on my cheeks. "What?" The way he was staring at me was beginning to creep me out. He sqouze, smashing my cheeks together. Then he pulled, and repeated the process.

"Quit it!" I yelled. Just what did he think he was doing? Invading my personal space once again, Deidara leaned in so close that I could feel his breath on my face. My own face began to heat up, and I wanted to crawl under a rock and hide.

"What are you—"

"Shut up, hm. I just wanna tell you something."

His mouth crashed onto mine and I widened my eyes at him. This was "telling me something?" My head was spinning and the room seemed to move back and forth, forth and back. If I didn't lie down I would probably throw up. Throw up all over Deidara. Wouldn't that be awesome?

Speaking of Deidara, he was beginning to freak me out. Since when did he become so touchy feely? I was in no way used to this kind of stuff, so when it happened I just froze up, not knowing what to do next. Whoa! Red alert! Was that his tongue I felt just now?! Before I could even react, Deidara's mouth left mine and shifted down to my neck. Oh man, oh man oh man...I had never been put in this situation and truthfully, I felt like fainting.

"What are y-you doing?" I squeaked, my entire face flushing in the process. He didn't answer, instead lifting my oversized t-shirt over my head. Everything at that moment got a little hazy and inside of my head I was freaking out. Surely you should only do things like that with people you love...but, did I love Deidara? As I sat there debating with myself, I felt Deidara's breath on my nearly exposed chest.

"Want me to stop, hm?"

Snapping back into reality, I noticed Deidara rubbing my cheek with his thumb. Did I want him to stop? I honestly didn't know. And not knowing anything was the biggest problem of my life at the moment.

"I...don't know," I said, biting my lip. I received a peck on the forehead in reply.

"Too bad." He shrugged. "Who knows when I might see you again, Shiori."

This set me off. I grabbed the front of his shirt with shaky hands and pleaded. "Don't leave! I'll miss you if you go," was what I wanted to say. But of course, I didn't. Instead, I just stared up at him, everything showing in my eyes. I didn't want him to leave, I wanted him to stay. If he didn't, I knew I would have more panic attacks. That's when I knew it—i needed Deidara.

Deidara's hand rested on the back of my head, an attempt to calm me I guessed. Then, he placed both of his hands on my shoulders, telling me to close my eyes. What was he going to do? My heart pumped furiously in my chest as I anticipated his next move.

Well, if any of you out there have never ever had a shoulder-rub, I highly recommend it. It was absolute heaven, almost better than a green tea bath. Almost. Before I knew it, I was beginning to feel drowsy, falling asleep in minutes.

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_**Buzz...Buzz...Buzz...Buzz..Bu—**_

I groaned and slammed my palm onto the "sleep" button of my alarm clock. Those could be so annoying. You go out of your way to even bother to set them and they could be so irritating!

Leaning up, I looked around at my room. No one was in it except for me so I assumed that they were all in my living room.

Wincing as my bare feet met the cold wood floor, I made my way into the kitchen. No one to be found. I was the only one in my apartment and my jaw dropped so hard, I thought it would break. I was alone! No Akatsuki in sight! They really had left. And without saying goodbye. That was cold. But then again, they were criminals, I didn't really expect them to.

Even so, I had let them stay in my freakin house! The least they could do was say—

I was interrupted by the phone ringing and I picked it up, my mood destroyed for the day. "Hello..."

The voice on the other end of the line was Yomi's and I was tempted to fling the phone out the window.

"Hello, Shiori?" She asked from the other end.

Okay Shiori, breath! You can do this. "Yeah."

"We have a mission today! I already have the reports and everything, just get your butt down to the gates! Hurry!" The phone clicked and I stared at the receiver. A mission? Alright. I hadn't been on a mission since...well you know the story.

Moving as slowly as I could just cuz I wanted to, I took a shower and got dressed, wanting to just lie in bed and sulk. Without eating breakfast, I sulked down to the gates where Yomi was waiting. It was just the two of us? What happened to 3-man squads?

"Bet you're wondering why it's only two of us, huh? Well it's only two of us because no one else is available so lets go!"

How could she be so friendly at a time like this? I hoped she didn't think she was forgiven and what I had caught her doing was just a thing of the past. Because it wasn't.


	20. Fireworks

Chapter Twenty: Fireworks

Our mission was simple: escort some pop singer so she wouldn't be harassed or anything by psychos or something. That was her exact words in the report, I kid you not. Just looking at the words made a strong dislike for this girl form inside of me. I hadn't spoken a word to Yomi since we departed, and I didn't plan to. Sure it was sort of immature of me but I had walked in on her and the guy I liked doing it in my bed! MINE! That proved that Yomi was a little on the easy side and I honestly wasn't surprised. Yomi had been my best friend since we were little but if a cute guy just said one lame pick up line to her, she'd fall for him in a heartbeat. It worried me to see that they could get her under their spell that quickly, seeing as she could easily be taken advantage of. It didn't help that Yomi "blossomed" at a young age either.

But if we didn't speak to each other this whole mission, it probably wouldn't turn out that great. How hard could guarding some spoiled pop singer (who probably couldn't even sing) be? Piece of cake!

Looking over at the tricked out caravan this princess was riding in made me scowl. Her nose was up in the air and she was fanning herself with a cheap fan that she claimed was an heirloom passed down from generations. Yeah, right.

So far, I couldn't stand her but Yomi didn't have a problem chatting it up with her about nothing. The sight made me sick. I just wanted to be at home sulking in my bed because a group of certain somebodies left without saying squat.

"Hey Shiori," Yomi said, her voice sounding slightly different from what I remember. "Rin wants to know if you've ever kissed a guy."

_Okay Shiori, _I thought bitterly. _Don't punch anyone in the face. It's not worth it._

"Yes," I answered through gritted teeth. Yomi told "Rin" my reply and she nodded before whispering in Yomi's ear. She turned to me.

"Rin wants to know if you've ever slept with a guy."

I was about two seconds from snapping and drop kicking Rin in the head. But I'm a bigger person than that.

"No."

"Rin wants to know—"

That was it! Turning my head to face Rin and Yomi, I opened my mouth and yelled. "If _Rin _wants to know so bad, then why doesn't _Rin _ask me herself!? Are you stupid Rin? Huh? Are you so stupid that you can't even ask a person a question directly?! How about you stop being so NOSY!!! Just stay in your dumb little pink carriage and mind your own damn business!!!"

Rin stared at me with her mouth open slightly before going 'hmph' and turning up her nose again. My mood now so damaged that I thought I would never feel anything other than anger again, I stomped ahead of the caravan and grumbled to myself.

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At nightfall, we stopped at an inn in a forest with a hot spring and I was stuck outside being on guard while Yomi and Rin laughed and talked inside of her huge room. Truthfully, I had no idea why we were on this mission seeing as Rin had tons of bodyguards.

My joints ached painfully as I stared at the natural hot springs in front of me. If I was only there for 5 minutes would it count as neglecting my duties? Not caring one way or the other, I slipped off my clothes and sank into the hot water. One word—bliss. I sunk deeper and deeper into the water until only my eyes and nose were above it. Steam was rising up all around me and it looked like fog. As I nearly drowned again by falling asleep, I heard a voice from behind me. A male's voice. Snapping back to reality, I hid behind a huge boulder that was inside the water. I heard the person slide into the water and make a noise that sounded like they were in some sort of pain. I could NOT let that person find me. I had a real problem about being naked, let alone in someone else's company. Peeking out from behind the boulder, I caught a glimpse of a head, partially submerged in the water.

My body betrayed me and I sneezed, inhaling tons of water. As I hacked and coughed, the person's head spun around towards me. They began to slowly move through the fog and my heart began hammering inside of my chest. It reminded me of a movie about a shark that I saw when I was little. I shut my eyes tight and sunk completely under the heavenly water and swam to the other end before I was discovered. But, why was I running away? Oh yeah. I hate being naked around other people.

"Shiori, hm?"

I screamed in surprise and whirled around, water going down my throat. Why was _he _here?! What?! It felt as if my heart completely leapt out of my throat and swam away, laughing maniacally. How did we keep running into each other? What the heck?!

Deidara tilted his head to the side, examining me closely to see if I was really me. I did the same. Maybe it was just the fog playing tricks on me. They did say that staying in a hot springs for too long might cause fainting.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about! My name isn't Shiori."

"I know it's you, hm."

Looking at him through the dense fog, I noticed numerous cuts and bruises and a sort of pained expression on his face. "What happened to you?" I asked, trying to keep my voice normal.

I heard him shrug through the water and I moved away before he could start invading my personal space again. However, I was too slow and Deidara's forehead found it's way on mine and my face immediately went up in flames (figuratively of course).

Any closer and our bodies would be touching, and I would not let that happen even though him and Yomi were already to that stage.

"Why won't you leave me alone?" I asked, desperately trying to move away from him.

"Because," he said. "You don't want me to, hm."

How did he know something like that? He was a shallow, perverted little feminine looking man who didn't have a single clue about women. (Except maybe their anatomy).

"I...I don't understand you." I looked up at him and shook my head. "How exactly do you feel about me? I'm tired of you saying how you don't know! I think you do know and you're just being a stubborn idiot like always!"

"Oh Shiori..." he shook his head at me. "A little hostile today aren't we? Shouldn't you be happy to see me, hm?"

I was happy to see him and I wasn't happy to see him. Either way, I wasn't going to be satisfied unless I knew his feelings. I didn't care how he told me, as long as he did. Come on, I was getting extremely desperate! There was also that small little thing popping into the back of my mind that said that he wasn't interested in me at all.

"Fine."

My head snapped up and I bumped my forehead into Deidara's chin. He narrowed his eyes at me and I took the chance to slink away, putting some distance between us. The look on his face showed that he was debating with himself on something. Was that a good thing or a bad thing?

"Shiori, hm."

My heart started its hammering again and I could hardly hear anything over its beating. "Y-yes?"

"I..."

Oh god oh god oh god!

Deidara's head tilted and he looked up. "...Don't hate you, hm."

My jaw just about dropped right into the water as I stared at the man in front of me. Seriously? He didn't hate me, well that was a start. No matter how disappointing it was. Although that could've been just how someone like Deidara confessed his feelings.

Before I knew it I was laughing and making my way over to the edge of the water, where my clothes had mysteriously disappeared. Oookay.

"....um, Deidara?" I turned around and he was behind me. Well, there goes another mini heart attack.

"Clothes missing, hm?"

The way that smirk appeared on his lips made me assume that he actually knew where my missing clothes were. Just like my shoes had disappeared a while back.

"Give them back!" I yelled, pointing an accusing finger at him.

"I don't have them. But...I guess maybe I can lend you something, hm. If you sleep with me tonight."

My face caught on fire again and my words started running over themselves trying to come out of my mouth. "W-what?! W-what kind of g-girl do y-you think I am, D-De...uh, D—"

Why couldn't I remember his name all of a sudden?! What's-his-face put his hand on the side of my face and cooed in my ear, "It's Deidara, hm."

Oh man, I was starting to feel faint. Why did I act like this around him? Why was he doing this to me? It was so infuriating!

"I know, I know." Deidara rubbed my cheek. "...I'm not going to take your innocence..._yet, _hm. I just wanna sleep with you."

"W-what?" I didn't see what he was getting at. Deidara saw that I was completely clueless, and he rolled his eyes at me.

"Just say you will, hm."

"Will what?" I asked. I was starting to get annoyed.

"Sleep with me."

"I'm not having sex with you Deidara."

"I didn't say you had to Shiori. Just sleep with me, hm."

"I'm not—"

"You're doing this on purpose, hm."

I sure was. Took him long enough to figure it out. I didn't really care though. As long as I in no way had to do anything sexual and I could get clothes, it didn't matter. "...Fine."

Smiling, Deidara stood up and climbed out of the water, burning my eyes out of their sockets. Well now I was mentally scarred for life. Thanks, Deidara. Thanks for the view of your...front that I didn't need. My life was now complete.

When he reappeared, Deidara dropped his cloak down on the ground where my clothes used to be. Fantastic. Hopefully it didn't smell like sweat or anything gross. "Turn around," I said firmly, pointing towards the other direction. I had unfortunately seen him naked, but that didn't mean that he would see me. No siree bob.

"Go. And put some clothes on!"

When he finally turned around, I hurriedly stood up out of the water and wrapped myself in the heavy cloak. Before he could say anything, I breezed past, my wet bare feet making slapping noises as they hit the ground.

Yomi and the spoiled pop idol were no longer talking so I guessed they had finally called it a night, as did her 4 bodyguards. Wonderful. If I had to listen to them talk again I would slice my ears off.

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I was still wrapped up in the thick heavy Akatsuki cloak, wearing nothing but my birthday suit underneath. Deidara still hadn't revealed the hiding place of my clothes so I was stuck wearing nothing. Fantastic.

But luckily, Deidara had finally dressed himself and my eyes had somewhat healed. He was brushing his hair on the other side of the room, sitting ontop a futon that looked unbelievably fluffy. He patted the spot next to him and I reluctantly came over and sat, arms and legs tightly folded within the cloak.

"Don't get any ideas," I said, pointing another finger in his face.

He rolled his eyes and continued brushing his hair. The way he carefully parted and brushed it made him look like such a woman that I burst into laughter.

"What's so funny, hm?"

"You look like a girl! Ha!" Apparently being called a girl irritates the blond bombshell and the vein in his forehead starts to pulsate. It was a gross sight.

I dodged out of the way just as the hairbrush went soaring past my head and into the wall. Oh yeah, i'm the best.

Even though I dodged the hairbrush, I couldn't dodge the S-ranked criminal. Shoot. Deidara landed on top of me with a hard thud, knocking the wind out of me. The stitches on the back of my head ached in protest and I prayed they wouldn't pop. Kakuzu wasn't around to fix them.

I still couldn't stop laughing because blondie was tickling me (another thing I hated). No tickling was my policy! Why? Because it left me wide open and I was utterly weak and defenseless.

When I heard the cloak unbutton, I kicked my leg out catching blondie right between the knees.

"Hey, I warned you," I said, buttoning the cloak back up. "No monkey business, monkey boy. I'm not your toy."

"But," he looked up, a pained expression on his face. "You're my pet."

_His _pet? No, last time I checked, I was the _Akatsuki's _pet! Wait, I was no one's pet! I was a human being and couldn't be owned by anyone! What happened to basic human rights? Did they disappear all of a sudden?

"And for that, blondie, I get the futon and you get the floor."

Turning my back to him, I pulled the covers over me and blew out the lamp. Take that, mega pervert.

Even so...

Surrounded by darkness in a room by yourself with a criminal didn't seem too smart. Especially when your clothes were missing and all you had to cover yourself was an Akatsuki cloak.


	21. More Fireworks

Chapter Twenty One: More Fireworks

Well, people, turns out being in a dark room with an S-ranked criminal isn't a very good idea. But you knew that didn't you?

My eyes shot open as soon as I felt a pair of arms wrap around me. I thought I had been clear about the non-touching policy.

"What are you doing?" I hissed, trying to wriggle free of Deidara's grasp.

He made no sound in reply so I guessed he was asleep. Were all the Akatsuki this "snuggly" when they were asleep? If that was the case, then they should all get teddy bears. _Not_ Shiori bears. When I finally wriggled away, Deidara woke up, staring at me with his eye half closed. I could hear him moving towards me and I panicked, not knowing where to go in the pitch black darkness of the room.

"What are you doing?" I asked again, raising my leg in case I had to kick him again.

"You said you'd sleep with me, hm."

Oh yeah. Well, he should've been smart enough to know that people didn't say what they meant all the time.

"I might not see you again..." He twirled a stray piece of my hair and I jumped, not noticing he was that close.

"You say that all the time," I said, folding my arms.

"I'm serious this time, hm. That Uchiha brat's really getting on my nerves and—" I tensed up as his face made contact with my neck. "—I barely got away this time...but tomorrow, i'm finishing him off, hm."

"Right..." I had no idea what he was talking about but something didn't feel right about his words. Something told me maybe I wouldn't see him again. A feeling of panic washed over me and I put a death grip around his neck. Maybe I was choking him a bit but I didn't care.

"You usually don't hug me first, hm. What's wrong with you?"

"You're not allowed to use that 'ultimate art' or whatever!"

Was I just being selfish? Probably. But so what. I still meant what I said. Deidara tried to pull away but I didn't let him, still maintaining my chokehold.

"Shiori...let go, hm."

"No!" I yelled stubbornly. "Not until you promise me you won't blow yourself up!"

He continued trying to pull my arms from around his neck but I just sqouze tighter.

"Why do you care?" he asked, attempting to bite me. What a child. Why did I care? If he wanted to know, then I would tell him, no matter how much I didn't want to. Shoving all my pride and stubbornness into the back of my mind, I yelled, "Because I love you, that's why!"

My face immediately became warm and I wanted to crawl under a rock and hide. Oh god, what did I just do? Deidara didn't say anything, instead, he leaned up and moved away. It was then that I noticed my arms lying limply at my sides. At that moment a million questions were running through my mind. Did I upset him? Was he mad? But I also knew Deidara well enough to know that just because I didn't want him to blow himself up, he probably would just to spite me. What an idiot.

"If you use it," I said, stubbornness making its way back to me. "I'll never forgive you and i'll hate you forever." Man, how childish did that sound?

Still, he stayed silent and still, I stayed frozen in my spot.

The silence was killing me and due to his lack of reaction whatsoever, I gave up. I was done with love. Love was over as soon as it started. Such a wonderful thing, right?

I stood up, ready to leave the room when I was stopped by a body blocking the doorway. "Excuse me," I said. "You're in the way." Deidara's hands gripped my shoulders and he hugged me, a bit too tight. My spine cracked and tiny squeak escaped my mouth. Was he trying to cripple me?

No matter how much I tried to wriggle away, the tighter Deidara squeezed. When I thought I would be paralyzed for life, his grip on me loosened and I sank to my knees, rubbing my sore back. "What is wrong with you?!"

Still Deidara made no sound, instead, he pushed me down and sat on my back. Ow!

Then, I felt the cloak being pulled off my shoulders and I freaked—kicking and punching and calling him names didn't seem to faze him at all. Was he trying to molest me?! Holy crap!

"Relax stupid, hm." He kept pulling the cloak back, stopping before my bottom was exposed. Now I got it.

"So..." I finally calmed down, trusting he wouldn't do anything perverted (shows how stupid I am). "...You try to break my back and now you're giving me a backrub?"

Judging by the silence I got, I concluded that the answer was 'yes.' But seriously, wasn't this a little random and out of the blue? Deidara was just all over the place today. Regardless of how good backrubs felt, I was still nervous about me being topless in the presence of a man. But the only thing that would be seeing my chest was the floor, not blondie.

Halfway into my nearly-broken-back repair, I got sick and tired of the silence. "Hey Deidara."

"Hm."

"Would you mind getting off me? This is really weird and I am really uncomfortable right—" I hardly had any time to react when I was turned over, my back hitting the tatami mats. My mind shut down as I scrambled to cover myself. What did this pervert think he was doing?! I knew I shouldn't have trusted him! Even for a minute!

"What, hm?" Deidara rubbed his cheek that I slapped without noticing. "It's not like you probably have anything to show anyway, Shiori."

How rude! "W-what are you talking about! I have a really nice body, thank you!" At least the parts that weren't covered in bruises and scars. Luckily I had gotten back to my normal weight again. Looking like a skeleton is a no-no.

Deidara smirked and towered over me. "Then show me."

I kicked out but he caught my leg. "No! I don't want to I'm not ready to yet! Go get some hooker if you're so horny!"

"But," he said, putting a hand on his cheek. "I'm interested in you, hm."

My cheeks warmed up and I sighed. Even so, no meant no and I wasn't sure if I wanted to do _that _just yet. I stared at him strangely for five minutes when he rolled his eye and pointed to the futon. "Just go back to sleep, hm."

And sleep was what I would do. Going over to the futon again, wrapping myself so tight in the cloak that I could hardly move, I nearly fell asleep instantly. When I felt Deidara lay down next to me I didn't freak out, instead, I latched on to his arm. Hopefully he would be there in the morning. Hopefully.

* * *

"Shiori wake up! Shiori!"

My eyes shot open and I looked around wildly, trying to remember where in the heck I was. Oh yeah, an inn. With a hot springs. And Deidar—wait. Where was Deidara! The spot where he had just been last night was empty and my heart sank.

"Shiori!"

I looked up at Yomi with a frown. All I wanted to do was go home and wait—wait for him to come back to me. If he came back to me.

By the time I made it home, it was afternoon, four stinkin days later. I went straight into the bathroom to take a bath and put clothes on.

My apartment seemed so huge and empty with just me in it. It was a horrible feeling. A feeling of loneliness. If only it was filled with the arguments and voices of the Akatsuki.

My eyes had barely closed when a loud knock on the door, no more like banging or pounding, startled me awake. The pounding started again and I hesitantly opened my door just a crack, peering out of it with one eye. Who did I know with long red hair? No one, I was sure. Not only was their hair a crimson red, they were bleeding in random spots and breathing so heavily I thought they had a lung missing.

"Open...the door...hm."

It couldn't be! This person had reed hair! Red! Not blonde like a certain blondie I knew! But a closer examination revealed that the person's hair was not red, the red had come from blood. And lots of it.

"Deidara?" I asked hesitantly. The person on the other side of my door nodded and leaned against the door for support, getting a huge red smear on it. I opened the door so he could come in and I made a face as I saw just how much he was bleeding. So much it was beginning to pool. That and—

"Where the heck is your arm?!" I yelled. His right arm was missing and I nearly threw up on myself. This guy needed a doctor ASAP. Not knowing what to do or who to call, I stood there speechless as he collapsed to the floor. Arm missing and all.

* * *

Turns out, you can't actually just walk a criminal from a notorious organization into a hospital. So when that situation comes, you call your uncle-in-law who is a medical ninja and new to the village. My 31-year old aunt had gotten married 3 years ago to a medical ninja who wasn't entirely a ninja anymore (accident; now retired at 32). I always referred to him simply as

Shincchi, my aunt's nickname for him, which deeply embarrassed him to no end. Saying, "Hey Shinichiro!" would be too long and annoying. Anyway, back to the wounded blondie. After much searching, I had found his amputated arm lying in the street outside my apartment building and it was now reattached. Yippee. Even though his arm was reattached, Deidara still was unresponsive and that sorta worried me. Shincchi however, said he'd be fine as long as he got a lot of rest...meaning he would be occupying my bed, staining it with blood for a while. Darn. Now I would have to wash my sheets and hang them out to dry, which would take _forever. _Thank you Deidara. Thanks a lot.


	22. Shiori's Pet

**Alas my friends....this is the final chapter.....thanks for reading my story!!**

* * *

Chapter Twenty Two: Shiori's Pet

Shincchi had finally left, not before giving me a full-on lecture about making sure "my friend" got enough rest. It didn't help the situation at all, seeing as Shincchi kept nudging me and calling Deidara "my friend" in great emphasis. Something told me he would be blabbing to my aunt about "my friend." And something else told me that my aunt would tell her sister, my mom, about "my friend." And my mom would want to come see "my friend." And you know what would happen then, don't you? I was tempted to give Deidara a haircut so he would be unrecognizable, but I would end up making him look like a baldy (instead of blondie). Wouldn't that be a wonderful sight?

Deidara was occupying my bed, filling it with bloodstains and I groaned. It would take me forever to get those out. On the up side, however, blondie had woken up and was now breathing like he had one lung again. I had come to a decision—I had to do something about the blood crusted Akatsuki member in my bed. "Get up," I said, prodding him in the shoulder.

No answer, so I hit his shoulder. _That _got a yell in pain and an icy stare. Putting my hands up defensively, I said, "You need to get up and go in the bathroom. You're filthy."

Deidara turned his nose up at me and I just shook my head. Of course he was staring at the big black eye I had. But just to be clear, i'll explain how I got the black eye. While out searching for blondie's missing limb, I sort of lost my balance going down the many stairs leading to my apartment. Hitting your face on the edge of a rail is not fun. It's very painful. And I had to admit that my eye's new purplish-black ring was a definite eyesore (get it?).

"Get up, Deidara!" I was beginning to get a bit irritated. But that irritation quickly faded once I remembered that he was nearly mortally wounded. Still, he was bloodying up my bed and if it sunk through to my mattress we would have a serious discrepancy on our hands.

Ignoring the fact that he was injured, I pulled him up by his arm, struggling under his weight. Once I dragged him to my small bathroom I ordered him to stand outside the door as I filled the entire tub with water, dumping green tea bath powder inside. That should get all the stains out.

"You can come in now." I turned towards the door. It took him about 5 minutes just to come in and I shook my head again. Oh wait, he was injured. Almost forgot.

"Get undressed." Man, I hoped he wouldn't take that the wrong way. As an afterthought I added, "...And I won't look." I covered my eyes and turned around, facing the wall. As I heard his bloody clothing items hit my bathroom floor, my face caught flame and I tried to suppress the blushes. I mean, I had already involuntarily seen Deidara naked back at the hot springs and I sorta didn't want to see that again. Not that I thought he was ugly or anything...well! Nevermind, stop judging me.

But once I heard him slip into the water, I turned around, armed with a bar of soap and a washcloth.

The look on his face clearly stated that he didn't want to be taken care of by someone like me, but I didn't care. And he shouldn't have either, seeing as he was getting a free sponge bath. Just for future reference to all you folks out there—trying to scrub blood out of a person's hair is not easy. Especially when that person didn't want you touching them, let alone their hair. Was it my fault that he got all bloodied up? No. It was that Uchiha guy's fault. And i'm guessing maybe it wasn't Itachi, seeing as Deidara called him a "brat."

"Would you stop?!" I yelled as I tried to scrub his hair clean. Deidara was acting like a little kid, moving around as much as he could to make my job harder. Truthfully, I wanted to slap him, but I figured getting beat up as badly as he did was punishment enough. And I planned on rubbing it in as much as I could.

"Aw, what's wrong DeiDei?" I asked in a mocking voice. "Are you mad that you got beat up?"

The tiny vein popped up on his forehead and I nearly burst into laughter. But, the blonde bombshell had in all entirety looked as if he had a rough day so I decided to back off a little. So, one point to Deidara. Negative one for Shiori. See? I'm a good sport.

When I had finally scrubbed his hair clean, I threw my empty shampoo bottle into the trash and sighed. "You can do the rest of you, right?"

Deidara's blue eye landed on my gray ones. "I'm...injured, hm."

"And?"

No answer. So either he really couldn't move or he was being a pervert. I decided on the pervert part seeing as just a few minutes ago, he was moving around trying to prevent me from washing his hair. "Oh?" I tried my best to sound like my mom when she was giving lectures. "At first you didn't want me to wash your hair but now you want me to wash you. Correct?"

Aha. No answer!

"Well i'd love to Deidara, but I have to unfortunately wash my sheets and your filthy clothes." I shut the door once I was in the hall and sighed. Picking up my bloody sheets, I shoved them into the washing machine and turned it on after putting in detergent. Honestly. While those washed, I decided food would be a good idea. But surprise! I couldn't cook that well. (That's why cookbooks are useful). Flicking through the pages, I settled on the not too difficult omelet and rice. Omu-rice!

First you need eggs, onions, chicken (if you want) and rice. Because i'm lazy and don't want to explain everything in great detail like the cookbook, i'll keep it short and sweet. Here goes: crack the eggs; beat the eggs; slice the chicken in pieces; cut the onion in tiny pieces; melt butter in a pan; saute´ the onions; add in rice and chicken; make omelet; put finished rice and stuff inside; flip it; draw on it with ketchup (for all you artists out there); and voila! Omelet and rice in no time at all. Make sure you repeat the process for all you girls harboring injured criminals in your small apartment.

The sound of wet bare feet hitting wood floor behind me made me jump and nearly drop a plate. I turned around and immediately wished I hadn't.

"Why are you naked?!" I shrieked, covering my eyes with my hands.

"You took my clothes,hm."

Oh yeah. I shoved past him and handed him a towel from the closet. "And don't take it off!"

Since the blood and dirt was all washed off, I could see the cuts and bruises Deidara had. Some cuts were still bleeding. But first, I had to do something about him being naked and all. Going to the bottom drawer in my room, I found a shirt that I had stolen from my dad. Dad was a tall man and I knew that his shirt would fit Deidara. At least I hoped so. It looked like a dress on me. But sadly, the only bottoms I had were mine. And I doubted they would fit blondie well at all. Well...there was that pair that was a little big around the waist for me. I handed him the shirt and the shorts and snickered as he stared at them with his eyebrow raised.

"Just put them on," I said.

Closing my eyes and turning around as Deidara put on the clothes I had given him, I guessed the sigh I heard was one of disdain. When I looked at him I immediately burst into the loudest fit of laughter I had ever had.

"Shut up, hm," he snapped, a look of embarrassment on his face.

The shirt fit fine (it was actually a little big on him), but the shorts were _really _short. It actually made his legs appear longer.

"Nice legs, Deidara." I had finally calmed down and went back into the kitchen, followed by blushing blondie.

My omelets weren't that perfect looking and one had completely ripped on one side, the rice spilling out. Being the nice person that I was, I gave Deidara the non ripped omelet. Too bad he was a freakishly greedy person and ended up eating mine too. So now I was back to starving. Would I have to eat when he was asleep or something?

As I went to work on making another omelet for myself, I didn't notice the dripping wet blond hair hanging over me. "Do you mind?" I turned around and bumped into his chest. "Back up! What are you so close for?!"

Deidara was paying no attention to me, instead, he was reaching for something in the cabinet above me. That "something" was band aids. How band aids ended up over the stove was beyond me.

"Don't be so full of yourself, Shiori. I was just getting band-aids, hm."

I wonder how much it would hurt to rip his arm off again. Maybe just a pinch, right?

I ate my ripped omelet in silence, glaring at blondie as he tried to reach a cut on his back. Being the nice (newly deemed nurse) person I was, I went over and pulled the shirt up, sitting behind him. There was a big cut going up his back and I wondered how Shinnchi missed it. Retrieving a bottle of green crap that went on wounds, I grinned evilly. I knew the dreaded green liquid all too well. Mom used it on me or the twin monsters or dad whenever we got cuts or scrapes. It felt like lemon juice and salt and pepper all being poured into your gaping wound. After pouring it on a small towel, I slowly ran it down the cut and got a reaction I was hoping for. I had to duck to avoid his fist.

"Were you trying to hit me?!" I yelled in his face. I try to help him, he tries to punch me. He was such a nice person.

"Yes I was, hm."

"Don't make me pour in the whole bottle, Deidara."

He folded his arms and turned back around, and I returned to dressing the wound. Once it was all bandaged up, I stepped back, admiring my work. As I stared at the bandages, an idea popped into my head and I ran into my room to retrieve it. Hopefully he wouldn't see or notice it.

When I returned to the living room, I noticed Deidara was eating my half-eaten omelet. Yuck. I hated eating off of people. Let alone using their fork. But I guessed it wouldn't be that different from kissing (and I had already gotten to that stage). "Stay on the couch," I commanded. "You need to strengthen up, mister."

"Why," he said, his mouth full of food.

And as sickly sweet as I could, I replied, "So you can get the hell out!" I was definitely not expecting the look of disappointment I received from him.

"Don't look at me like that. Thought you were a big bad criminal! And last time I checked, big bad criminals don't pout."

The "big bad criminal" got up abruptly and came over to me, sitting down. I watched him closely as he propped his legs up on my lap and put his feet right next to my face. "Then take care of me, hm."

Like I had any choice. But, in his state of incapacitation, a potentially sinister thought popped into my head. Pushing his legs off of me, I got up and fetched something that would probably be useful.

"Come back...," he whined from the couch. Oh I was coming back, and that probably wouldn't be a good thing for blondie. No siree bob. I stood in the hallway, waiting for him to get up. And get up he did. Once his eye landed on me, it widened. That's exactly the reaction I wanted.

Slowly, I walked toward him and he backed up, going into the living room. Once he sat down on the couch, _I _gave _him _a smirk for once. Then, armed with the heavy chain and collar that I had been forced to wear so many times, I towered over him.

"It's a good thing that you're stuck here, Deidara."

"Why, hm."

"Because," I paused for dramatic effect. "You're Shiori's pet, now."

Ah, payback. Sweet, sweet payback.

Operation: Infiltrate Akatsuki!

Mission: Failed (Sorta)

Do I care: No

Story: The End

Shiori: Out!

* * *

**But wait! There's more!!!!! Everything will be wrapped up in the bonus chapter......which is next. .this way, my friends!**


	23. Bonus:How To BabysitAmong other things

Operation: Infiltrate Akatsuki!

Bonus story:

How To Babysit

Ami and Ichiru. I knew it would happen sooner or later. And I was fearing the day. If you're wondering what exactly i'm talking about, i'll break down everything in two quick minutes.

First off, blondie was still inhabiting my small apartment, taking up space and eating my food. He was thought to be dead by pretty much everyone in the Akatsuki and had a sudden revelation that he was going to stay with me. Whether I wanted him to or not. However...that did NOT mean less criminal activity. I promised myself that the next time I saw a breaking news report on "30 killed in explosion at counsel meeting" I was going to chop off all of Deidara's hair. He seemed to be acting like a terrorist, or a bomb-for-hire, something I was told he did before he joined the Akatsuki. Terrible, and I was sure that sooner or later, he would be tracked back to my apartment and I would be arrested too. Welcome back, paranoia.

Anywho, back to the important subject—Ami and Ichiru. My mom had thought it would be nice if I got to spend quality time with the twin monsters and sent them over to me. Now don't get me wrong, I loved the twin monsters and all their twinness, but it would be pretty hard to babysit them when a criminal was staying in my house. On the up side though, the twin monsters didn't remember Deidara's face at all and that made things a bit easier. Sort of.

"If they keep staring at me i'll blow them up, hm."

"If you blow them up i'll cut you."

I turned around and went back to the living room, where Ami and Ichiru were fixated to the television screen. They paid no attention to me as I sat down, but when Deidara entered the room, both of their heads snapped up in his direction. I knew what would happen if he sat down near them—it happens to everyone with long hair that Ami and Ichiru meet. It happened to me when they were about one. First, they'd hop behind you and stare at your hair, then they'd play in it and lastly, if they decided they didn't like you they would come into your room when you're asleep and chop it all off. (Took me two years to grow it back).

Ami made the first move. She hopped up and ran over to Deidara, wrapping her small arms around his legs. Wow, that was a first.

"I like you," she said in her cute voice. "Wanna marry me?"

It took every ounce of my being not to burst into laughter—both at Ami's request, and Deidara's face.

Ichiru glared up at Deidara from his spot on the floor and folded his arms. Maybe today would be fun after all.

* * *

Turns out, Ami had a humongous crush on blondie and Ichiru was having none of it. Every time Deidara so much as came into the room, Ichiru would shriek at him and pull Ami over to himself. Ah, twins.

"Hey Dei-chan!" Ami called from the living room. "Wanna come play with me?"

"No—" I elbowed blondie right in his still-not-fully-healed ribs. When he yelped and elbowed me back, a fight ensued. Us fighting was completely normal, actually. But was that a good thing? We fought when he came in the room while I was changing, we fought when my food went missing and we fought when their was no more toilet paper. Most would call that a "lovers quarrel," but I have a question. Were we "lovers" or whatever? I still had no clue, and blondie wasn't making it any easier. Some days he was all over me like a dog in heat, and some days he was an immature little child, like today for example.

"Go play with her, Deidara," I said with a fist held up. "If she cries again, i'll punch you."

Deidara narrowed his eyes and stared at me for a good 5 minutes before sighing and standing up. "You owe me, hm."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." I continued to flip through a magazine, paying close attention to the scene in the living room. As if on cue, Ichiru yanked Ami's arm towards him and let out a loud shriek.

"You're hurting my arm, Ichiru," she said quietly. "Let go or i'll tell."

Apparently not caring one way or the other, Ichiru's grip on his twin's arm didn't loosen and I sighed. 3..2..1—

"SHI-OR-IIII!!!" Ami cried, tears streaming down her now reddening cheeks. "Ichiru's being mean!" And just like that, the twin monstering begun. Ami began to shriek and cry, smacking Ichiru right across the face a couple of times, which caused _him _to shriek and cry. Like a spider monkey, Ami scrambled into Deidara's arms and wrapped her arms around his neck.

He whirled around to face me and mouthed the words, 'Come get this munchkin off me.' I only had one answer to that—nope!

In the blink of an eye, Ami was down on the ground and I was up in the air. "Put me down!" I yelled warningly. This couldn't be good for his injuries at all, especially his recently reattached arm.

"Put her down!" Ichiru yelled, no longer crying.

"Where are you taking big sister, Dei-chan?" Ami was also now silent, staring up at me struggling over "Dei-chan's" shoulder.

"He's trying to kidnap me, Ichiru!" I lied, putting on a mock sad face. "Don't let the bad man take me away!"

"What are you talking about, hm?"

"Help, Ichiru!"

Ichiru started shriek again and was now trying his best to attack my "kidnapper." Kicking, scratching, screaming, and biting, Ichiru was full out monster mode—something that hardly happened.

"Quit it, you little shi—"

"Hey!" I yelled in Deidara's face. "Watch it, blondie."

Shoving me in the bathroom, Deidara pushed Ichiru down and locked the door behind him. "Did you just push my little brother down?!"

"Your little brother is a shitfaced bastard, hm."

"You're a shitfaced bastard!"

"No you are."

"You!"

"You, hm!"

And so, we went on like that for 10 minutes before I couldn't take the constant screaming coming from the other side of the door.

"Aargh! Move, you woman!" I yelled, pushing Deidara aside. He caught my arm before I could open the door.

"How many times do I have to tell you, hm? I'm a man."

"Whatever you say, wo-_man."_

I was temporarily distracted by Ichiru's screaming to notice Deidara's pants hitting the floor. "Gyaah! My eyes!"

"Oh, give it up." he tilted my chin up with one finger. "You know you want it, hm."

"You wish!"

"So do you, hm."

The pounding on the other side of the door stopped and I slowly opened the bathroom door, wondering what would be waiting on the other side. Slamming the door shut in the face of the flasher behind me, I bent down to pick up the sniveling Ichiru off the floor. "Shhh," I said, brushing his messy hair. "Stop crying. I was only kidding, i'm not getting kidnapped."

"Y-you're not?"

"No."

He buried his face in my shoulder, continuing to snivel and whine.

"Dei-chan...?"

Ami knocked on the bathroom door with her little fist and "Dei-chan" poked his blonde head out to look down at her. She reached up to touch his hair and he retreated back into the bathroom, shutting the door with a click. I knew, by the way Ami hung her head down, that she would start crying. And cry she did. And when Ami cries, Ichiru cries. When they both cry, it sounds like a freight train crashing into a million more freight trains. (Okay, maybe i'm exaggerating, but you get the picture). When the noise gets too much, I start to get irritated. When I get irritated, I yell. Yelling makes the twin monsters cry more. Thus, the cycle repeats itself.

"Open the door, blondie!" I was struggling to balance Ichiru on my hip and calm down Ami at the same time.

"What's the magic word, hm?" The smirk was dripping off his voice.

"NOW!"

"Say please..."

Man, was this a bad time to start blushing. It wasn't my fault! It was all Deidara's fault for being so darn attractive! Argh! That stupid voice and that stupid speech impediment and everything else!

Knowing i'd get grief for it later, I sighed and muttered, "...Please."

The door creaked open and a blue eye greeted me. Instantly becoming happy again, Ami clung to Deidara's legs and she let out a giggle that made me smile. "You owe me, Shiori."

"Whatever, pet." Ah, it felt good to be able to call him that for once.

* * *

"Say, 'you're a pretty pretty princess!'"

"No, hm."

"Say it, husband!"

"No."

"We're playing dolls! You have to cuz you're the princess!"

"Fine. I'm....a..._pretty pretty princess,hm._"

"Yay!"

I watched the scene in front of me with my hand clamped over my mouth to prevent myself from laughing. Deidara, the newly deemed "husband" by Ami, now sported pink bows in his hair and a princess doll in his left hand.

The vein in his forehead throbbed with every single word Ami said. In a way, I was glad. Now that Deidara was here, he could play "pretty pretty princess" with Ami instead of me.

A small snicker escaped my mouth and Deidara's head turned towards me, his eyes narrowed so much they were almost closed.

"Are you paying attention, husband?" Ami tugged on the hand of her "husband" and waved the doll in front of his face. "I'm the prince and you're the princess. And now we're married, so we have to kiss."

Ami bashed the face of her doll into the doll Deidara held. Good thing people didn't actually kiss that way or i'd be in trouble.

"Have you ever kissed somebody, husband?" Ami asked, staring up at Deidara with sparkly eyes.

"...Yes, hm."

"What about you, Ori?"

Rolling my eyes, I said, "Yeah I have..."

"Wow! That's so cool!"

"...eh..."

Deidara turned towards me again, apparently hearing my little' "eh." Wow could he be such a child. "What are you trying to say, hm?"

Once again, I let out a shrug and a, "..eh." Standing up and towering over me like a giant, Deidara brushed my hair back like he always did when—hey! My little sister was sitting right there and he was planning to kiss me!? Did he have any shame? Just as he moved in, I turned my head to the left and his face met the back of the couch.

**Thunk.**

Ami's head connected with the floor and she began to snore softly. Finally. I scooped her up and carried her to my room, where Ichiru was also sleeping.

"Shiori, hm."

"Deidara, hm," I said, imitating his speech impediment. Well, blondie doesn't like to be imitated in that way and that makes him angry. The vein on his forehead pulsated as I walked past and continued to pulsate even as I sat on the couch. Limping, Deidara came right in front of me and sat—nearly crushing me. "Get off!"

"No."

Reaching up, I grabbed a handful of blondie's hair and tugged which earned a yelp from him. Laughing has a way of making you forget things. Things like back issues from a too-tight hug that once was.

**Crack**

Ow.

Ow x400.

"Was that you, hm?" Deidara asked, turning to face the nearly crippled Shiori. I could hardly move. My spine ached in protest and seemed to be cursing and yelling from inside my body. Unfortunately, the only thing that soothed my aching spine was a back rub. And even more unfortunately, was the fact that the only one who could give a decent one was blondie himself. Crap.

"Turn around," he commanded, spinning me with too much force. This time my back let out a **crick.**

I was in too much pain to even respond. Planting his hands firmly on my shoulders, blondie began restoring my back. Restoring a person's back takes a lot of time and concentration and doing it wrong could cause serious damage to long blonde hair. I let out an involuntary groan as my back cracked again and Deidara placed his chin right on my shoulder. Smirking, of course.

"Does that feel good Shiori, hm?"

Blushing, I yelled back, "No! Continue your job!"

"You can't hide it. I know you're obsessed with me, hm."

"So what!"

Whoops.

Did I just say that out loud? Hopefully he didn't hear me.

"I heard that."

Crap.

"No need to be shy about it, hm."

"I'm _not! _I hate you."

Making a 'tsk tsk' noise, Deidara stood up and lifted my chin up. "But you said you loved me, remember?"

I have possibly never been as embarrassed as I was at that moment in my entire life. He wasn't supposed to remember that!

"And," he said. "Don't forget those panic attacks you had, hm."

"Shut up shut up shut up shut up!" I yelled, covering my ears with my hands. If he didn't shut up I would have to tape his mouth shut!

"What's the matter Shiori?" he bent down. "You feel a little embarrassed, hm? Hey! What are you crying for?"

"Leave me alone!" I stomped past him and retreated into the bathroom, slamming it shut right on blondie's fingers. He howled in pain and I snickered—crying always made him leave me alone.

"Open the door, hm!"

"What's the magic word?" I asked mockingly.

"Now."

"Noo, that's not it!"

"Shiori i'm gonna punch you, hm."

"You shouldn't hit girls."

"Who said I was hitting a girl."

Whoa! Burn. I opened the door a tiny bit and sure enough, a fist connected with my face, sending my head into the mirror behind me. It shattered and the glass shards sprayed everywhere. I kneeled down, my hands clutching the back of my head. After putting a shaky hand in front of my face, I saw that it was covered in blood. So was the shattered mirror and my bloody nose. The back of my head hurt so bad that I totally disregarded the fact that my nose was possibly broken. Stupid Deidara.

And while I was clearly in pain blondie walked away and came back with a hand towel, wiping his bruised hand off. "Shiori, hm," he said, poking me with his foot.

It felt as though my brain had been torn apart. And all I could feel was blood, blood, and more blood as it poured out of my head. Closing the door and locking it, Deidara bent down and unfolded the curled up body that was currently me.

After looking at my head and nose, he sighed. "I'm sorry, hm."

Sorry, blondie. No amount of apologies could fix my damaged cranium. Even though it was appreciated. He sighed again, holding my head up, which only made me scream louder. "Please stop screaming..."

Whoa, I even got a genuine please this time! And all it took was a horrible injury. I tried to pry his hands off of my face with my shaky hands, but it didn't work.

Sighing yet again, Deidara gave me a small tap on the head and I was out like a light.

* * *

"What's the matter with big sister, husband?"

"Why isn't she waking up?"

"Make her wake up!"

"Wake up big sister!"

"BIG SISTER!"

"BIG SISTER!"

".....sigh."

Now you have a taste of what I have to go through, Deidara. Ha! I frowned at whoever was breathing in my face. They must've just recently eaten something with an onion. Ichiru. He loved onions. When I opened my eyes I saw that it was indeed Ichiru and he grinned a missing tooth smile. The back of my head throbbed painfully and I gave up on trying to lean up. Lying down felt a bit better. Deidara shooed the twin monsters out of the room and sat down next to me.

"How's your head, hm?"

Whoa. He was actually being considerate? What happened while I was out? Did I fall into some parallel world in which Deidara wasn't a immature little child?

I rolled my eyes and snapped, "It was better before you smashed it into a mirror."

Blondie mirrored my position on the bed and sighed into my face. Thankfully his breath didn't smell like onions. "To be honest Shiori...," he trailed off and I closed my eyes as my head throbbed painfully.

"...I can't stand you, hm."

I guessed this was somewhat of an answer to the question I asked him so much. But, he said he couldn't stand me!

"But, you've grown on me pet, hm."

Maybe this was going somewhere, so I let Deidara talk.

"Correction," I said quietly. "You're my pet now."

He smiled and shrugged. "Whatever, Shiori, hm."

"And truthfully Deidara, I can't stand you either."

"Thought you loved me."

"I was lying." Of course, that was a lie.

"Women, hm."

I opened my eyes back and said, "You know, all women aren't easy little bimbos like the girls you pick up. Take me for example, am I an easy little bimbo?"

Getting no reply from Deidara at all, I scoffed and attempted to roll over on the bed. Bad idea. Yelping in pain, I clamped my hands over my head. Another bad idea. "Owwwwwwwww," I groaned, burying my face in my pillow.

"I'm...sorry."

"Was that an apology? Wow, i'm making process." I wondered if I could push my luck and get him to say something else...

Leaning up with much difficulty, I turned to face him.

"Hey Deidara," I said. He raised his eyebrows and twirled some of my hair.

Trying to keep myself from laughing, I asked as a joke, "Do you love me?"

Expecting an "i don't know" or "i'm not telling," I was completely taken aback when he replied, "Unfortunately, hm."  
Woo-hoo! I was so happy at that moment that I thought I could fly. Completely ignoring my pulsating headache, I wrapped my arms around his neck, knocking us both to the floor.

"Satisfied, hm?"

"Yup."

Operation: Infiltrate Akatsuki! Bonus Story

The End

But wait! There's more! Shiori here! I bet you're wondering about the twin monsters! Don't worry, after what just happened above, they monstered me for a full weekend before they went home.

The End

for real this time!


End file.
